She keeps bringing up rings and weddings and it makes me panic
I love her but we only been together one year and im not ready for that big step
I told her I need more time but she says if I really loved her I wouldnt wait
That makes me feel pressured and stressed
I dont want to lose her but I also dont want to commit before im ready
My parents even think its too soon but she thinks they are wrong
How do I slow this down without making her feel unloved
TL;DR
Girlfriend (F25) wants engagement after 1 year I (M26) not ready yet
Comments
Bro, honestly the only way I can explain is you know when you know.
I’ve had a few long term relationships but never was “sure” or felt ready. Until I met the girl I eventually proposed to. We dated for several years before that but I absolutely knew from day 1 this was the girl I wanted to marry. Ready or not, I would have proposed as soon as I was confident she wanted the same thing.
Think about it, good luck.
As a 25 year old woman, she wants the ring and the wedding fun.
I mean you guys may just be fundamentally uncompatible here.
Ask her ‘what is that you can’t do now that you will when married’. Other than kids there isn’t much tbh. There is a lot of genuine way to show commitment – the ring/marriage are only one time and you should learn how to genuinely depeen your bonds as you go. Also you should be able to take in more detail after one year what your timeline is and why some things are important vs i’m too young to be sure – then you shouldn’t be dating at this time to be long term if true.
It’s totally fine to want things to be slower-paced. It might not be what she wants. Have a serious talk.
Sometimes, you have to let go if you two don’t want the same things. There’s nothing wrong with her wanting to get married and settle down in a serious commitment. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting more time. See if you two can compromise a little. Maybe both of you are ok with getting engaged 2 years later, and having the wedding 6 months after the engagement. This is an example.