I am so freaking pissed off because I have absolutely no defense to this at all. I don’t even mean it in like a sexual way. The second she senses me getting angry at her for something. She just takes her top off every time. And it’s the most frustrating thing in the world because like it is very hard to continue a rant when looking at something so amazing. She says it’s from how I Met your mother and it works well. But from my perspective, it is so fucking frustrating because I have actual gripes and complaints and things that I want to express. But I can’t form an articulable thought process. For perspective I amAudhd. So it is already very hard for me to articulate my thoughts and then you add fun stuff in there and it’s just not fair. And I can’t even articulate anymore how angry it makes me because when I try to bring that up she does the same thing and it works all over again. I have never felt so conflicted in my entire life and I am struggling to process how I even feel about this. It’s like every time I i’m angry or want to even have a normal conversation about something that needs to change. She just takes her clothes off and says do you want to be mad or do you want me and I wish I was stronger but I am weak, and this is killing me.
I’m not asking for advice. I’m just so fucking tired and cannot explain this to anyone else.
Comments
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It sounds like she’s helping to lighten the mood a little bit and take some of the stress off of whatever argument you’re about to have. I mean… you can still get your point across whether she has her shirt on her off.
Have you thought about closing your eyes?
Close your eyes?
when you’re mad next, either text her or leave the area and call her to complain.The solutionon is simple.
That’s weird asf break up with her ass 💀
Is it only when you argue when you’re mad about something or does she do it when she’s the one that starts them and is the one mad? Either way she only does this because it lets her “win”.
Everyone’s going to say close your eyes etc. but she needs to stop. This is not a healthy.
this is cute if it’s during minor conflict, but in serious conversations… yeah she should definitely stop.
She takes clothes off, put a blind fold on. She’ll hopefully catch on to what you’re doing pretty quick and hopefully you two can have a conversation about it.
Have you tried growing tf up?
Text her? Email? Write a letter? Or just accept it… Also go to individual and couple’s therapy
What the-
She sounds incredibly toxic and manipulative to be honest. If you are genuinely weak then I feel like the best thing to do would be to just get out of that situation. Whenever she pops the titties, just leave or go somewhere else man. That way she knows how serious and pissed off you are. If she still doesn’t listen and doesn’t take you seriously then it’s best to just break up with her man but if she does try to listen and change then that’s good.
bruh just turn around or close your eyes
Incredibly manipulative. Not to mention she’s too immature to have adult discussions. I would get away from her.
Good luck breaking up. She’s gonna get fully naked and dance to distract you from dumping her lol.
My husband and I have never had an argument before – if you guys are arguing frequently enough for this to be a real problem, maybe this isn’t the right relationship for you…
Tell her she needs to stop and actually have a conversation and if she can’t handle tell her you may need to break up. Also you got to look at how you are acting when you are angry. Are you screaming and yelling or are you actually trying to have a mature discussion.
Have you considered simply turning around or closing your eyes and continuing with your rants?
The problem here is eventually you’ll get immune to it and then when you do want to have sexy fun, you’ll just get angry because that’s what she’s conditioning you to do.
She’s for sure manipulating you
Turn the tables, when she gets mad at you start showing her your pp.
Start going into the arguments blind folded
She needs to stop and you need to start thinking with your other head. Calling yourself weak is an excuse, you can do better for yourself.
Both of you need to grow up.
Stop acting like a loser. Be an adult.
This is very toxic on her part. Imagine having the immaturity of taking something from a TV series and actually implementing it in your relationship (especially because it is such an immature way of acting) 😑😑 arguing has to be done. You have to talk about your feelings. She just sweeps them under the rug which doesn’t solve the problem at all. You need to do somethings through text and she really needs to mature tf up. How old are you two?
Bring up your issues when in a public place, like a restaurant. She’s not going to take her top off there. This is toxic behavior and you should tell her that it’s a serious problem for you and is making you reconsider the relationship.
Yeah I recognized this from HIMYM. It didn’t work out for Robin and Barney in the show either, which your girlfriend should know.
You know the song? The Offspring – Self Esteem 🙂 Good song. https://youtu.be/EtNZnhxWLHo
Holy… If you are in a relationship where you can’t communicate openly and honestly, you should reconsider the whole relationship. It is okay to argue sometimes or disagree, but if you can’t even talk about what the issue is then that relationship is doomed.
You should try to communicate with her through text or phone call and let her know that can’t continue and it is really affecting you. If she continues to do it after you tell her it is bothering you, she doesn’t care about you at all.
This ain’t healthy… she’s taking advantage of your weaknesses to get out of an argument that can be talked about more thoroughly to avoid future conflicts…
I lol’d at first. But after the comments, she’s manipulating you. Grow a backbone.
Clearly she doesn’t want to talk when you’re angry.
So you need to plan to think out what you need to say, write it down if you need in a script form with carefully chosen words, and choose a time to say, “can we talk?” Then use a calm voice.
You’re being angry is triggering her and apparently you have less control over yourself when angry? Someone taught you be communicate when angry instead of calm. You need to practice the other way. You don’t want to be an angry man. Be an effective communicator. A loving one.
If she takes off her shirt, this should be a sign that you are actually scaring her and she’s getting ahead of the real fear and trying to diffuse it. Acknowledge that.
Then you can tease her and get fake mad instead and laugh about it.
Toxic as fuck and a huge red flag
That’s pretty manipulative
She’s grooming you to relent
That’s manipulative af. Not good.
Look at me I have sex
Dude we all know this isn’t happening. You need to get out more
Hey OP, let us know if closing your eyes or texting works because from your other comments this girl needs to go
believe us or not, it’s becoming a toxic relationship between you two. nothing’s healthy here. the manipulation. the lack of mature conversation. nothing. and it’s not healthy for either of you. maybe try having a serious conversation in a public place or something. hope that works.
You are being lied to and manipulated. If a person can be controlled by sex then that person is not being respected.
Self control. Jesus
Do it first next time to show her how ridiculous it is
So…she stole from you and instead of addressing it like an adult she got naked to prevent you from holding her accountable. And define “weak”? Like are you insecure and think you can’t pull someone…sane, mature and ethical? Like is she the best you think you’ll get?
I can’t be the only one that thinks posting to “true off my chest” about boobies is very fitting.
She’s accidentally conditioning you to associate her nude body with anger. It’s either going to make y’all’s sex life wild or kill it completely. Either way it’s manipulation and unhealthy.
Have you told her this? Even if you can’t tell her yourself you can at least send her a screenshot of what you said, should probably leave the comment section out of it to be safe. I’m asking this in a “she shows you titties so be grateful and shut up.” but more so she might not realize what she’s doing. Especially if she got the idea from a tv show.
Sorry but you just gave me an idea for the petty arguments me and my boyfriend get into
dude.. I went through this in my teens when i was 15 and dating this 18 year old (who I now recognize was taking advantage of me)
same thing except instead of taking her top off, she’d start to blow me.. trying to break up with someone who’s always blowing you is hard pun intended
months after i started trying to break up with her, we had some pretty impromptu sex and for some reason, we finish and she turns to me and says “did this mean anything to you?”
and I said, “no, it didn’t mean shit..” and she ran out crying and we finally broke up? i didn’t run into her for like the next 10 years and she said she barely remembered our time together due to the amount of drugs she did after we broke up.. cool cool..
my advice is get away from her.. she manipulates you intentionally and knows exactly what she’s doing.. this won’t end well
Why don’t you take your clothes off to see how she likes it.
Try to start a serious conversation in a public place
I know you didn’t ask for advice but you might benefit from the arguing style my husband and I used to use for the first 5 years or so of our marriage. We’re both neurodivergent and we’re better at expressing full arguments in writing. So if there was something we needed to talk about we’d just hash it out over whatever messenger app we were using. It would allow you to get your full thoughts out without the distraction. At this point I think it couldn’t hurt to try.
Too weak to see boobs without losing all ability to function, and yet women are the weaker sex that need protection. Ha ha, this is the saddest thing in the world to admit too
That’s pretty fucked up. Instead of talking shit out, y’all are just pushing problems down and not solving anything. This won’t end well. Figure your shit out. No grown adult should be a slave to their sex drive no matter their conditions. Seeing someone’s tits shouldn’t short circuit your brain and well-being that you just don’t deal with the real issues within a relationship. All relationships need real care and teamwork to flourish and last.
By chance, is your girlfriend a bonobo?
This isn’t cute, it’s manipulative. Especially if she knows you’re neuroatypicial
Wear a blindfold or close your eyes during arguments or disagreements
Suppressing conversation is not a good tactic for a long healthy relationship.
> The second she senses me getting angry at her for something.
This phrase struck out to me. I don’t get “angry” at my partner, and never have. Am I unusual in this respect? Sure I’ll sometimes feel let down, or put out, or disgruntled, or disrespected, or disappointed. But never angry and I don’t know where anger would even come from.
> it is very hard to continue a rant
Again, “rant” feels like a disrespectful and unhelpful way to communicate one’s feelings in a relationship? Each person’s goal is simply to understand the other person’s feelings and communicate their own.
When you approach matters differently without anger and without rant, e.g. “Hey there’s something really important to me that I’d like to talk over with you”, do you get anywhere? If someone shuts off to your earnest attempts to deeply connect, that would be a warning sign.
She has weaponised sex and used as manipulative tool to diffuse am argument or not apologise and take accountability. She is an adult she needs to learn that getting naked will not always work
Dude I had a friend who dated this toxic girl in college, he tried breaking up with her TWICE but she would start to strip naked and they would fuck. And she would do all his favorite positions. Their relationship was terrible and I had never seen my friend be controlled like that. His mental health took a toll
My advice is to text serious matters or send a voice message or even facetime. If none of these work, breakup or go to couple therapy (I suggest the former, seems like she’s too immature to argue or has something going on with her mind)
So. These issues don’t go away because she does this. She interferes with the normal process people go through in building a relationship. She’s hurting your relationship. You aren’t learning who she is as a person and she’s being disrespectful.
Possessed by the puss, you need to set boundaries. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that shit doesn’t exist. If she moves funny like that during something you’re serious about you need to be prepared to move on. You don’t align in that case clearly.
She’s f’kn Smart,
You have a lot to learn from her.
People are being to harsh. It really depends on the context does she do this only when minor things happen or big problems arise? If it’s for smaller issues I don’t see the issues it’s just funny and she probably thinks it’s cute how weak you become when she has no top on 😹
I would find a way, some how some way, to express that I’m upset every day.
Why do you need to argue to bring up your issues. My wife does this to me. The fight does not help at all. Everything said during a fight can be said calmly and with respect.
if she remembers from the show how I met your mother doing exactly this hurt Barney and Robin’s relationship rather than actually helping it
Have you tried putting your thoughts in writing as a form of non-manipulate-able communication?
Tell her you want to go on a walk. She’s not gonna get naked in public
Im not gonna lie I want this problem
Bros drowning
Write a note explaining this and asking her not to do that when you converse next, if she still does that’s disrespectful.
How about you cum on her tits and then use that post nut clarity to argue?
lol damn first world problems
it is kinda funny imagining two people having an argument and then one of them just takes their top off out of nowhere 😂
You gotta wear blinders like a hawk.
Bro just close your eyes , it’s literally that easy
it is actually so weird and kinda misogynistic that you cant talk to a woman who has her top off what the fuck are you talking about
I’d be getting in so many arguments
That’s manipulation. Maybe air out some concerns in writing? I’m neurodivergent myself, and writing things out is the only way to get it out of my brain
I know you don’t want advise but maybe write her a letter to express how she makes you feel instead of talking? And ask her why she is so afraid to argue with you to the point of her flashing her tits…. Does she also do that with friends and collegues who she has a argument with!? No, why then just you? What makes her feel so comfortable that she feels the need to distract with sex??
I mean this is a very weird and immature behaviour for an adult…..
Plot twist: you start having a boner every time you get angry.
This would work wonder for about 6 months to 18 months. Then your brain will rewire itself to become hostile when she takes her top off. Then everything will fall apart.
Just stop with this shit
Hey, can you two argue around me for research purposes?
This is manipulation.
Next time either try talking to her in public or pull out your phone and inform her that you will be recording so that she doesn’t pull this shit while you’re trying to communicate an issue.
This sounds like it could get very Pavlovian.
The Pavlovian dynamic here isn’t gonna make the fights better, it’s gonna make the sex worse.
This is incredibly manipulative