I’m 21, and my girlfriend is 19. We’ve been together for two years. In the beginning, everything was great — we never argued, and it felt like we understood each other instantly.
But after about a year, things started to change. I began feeling unappreciated and lonely, even when we were together. It felt like something was missing. At first, I thought maybe it was just in my head — that I was being delusional or overly sensitive.
For the past six months, we’ve been arguing almost every day over petty things that don’t even make sense. We’ve become distant and emotionally indifferent. I finally decided to talk to her about it, telling her that it doesn’t feel like we’re in a real relationship anymore — more like best friends who hang out a lot.
I had actually brought this up months before, saying I felt like something was off. I told her I needed more intimacy — that having sex only once every two weeks made me feel unwanted and undesirable. Her reaction was to get mad and accuse me of only wanting her for sex, which isn’t true at all. I do everything I can for her.
Months later, I brought it up again — same conversation, same result. She got mad again and said that when I talk about it, it just makes her not want to have sex, because it feels like pressure and makes her feel bad for saying no.
Now it’s been almost a month since we last had sex. Weirdly, I feel more at peace this way. I’ve even started avoiding any sexual contact altogether. I’m not sure I even want it anymore — it’s like something inside me is switching off.
I want to fix this… but I don’t know how
TL;DR:
I (21M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for 2 years. Things were great at first, but for the past 6+ months, we’ve grown distant, argue constantly, and barely have any intimacy. I’ve told her multiple times that I feel unloved and unwanted because we hardly have sex, but she always gets defensive and says I only care about sex, which isn’t true. Now I feel emotionally shut down and don’t even crave intimacy anymore. I want to fix things, but I don’t know how.