She is planning to go to a three-day rave where she will also camp, then she will be working on a farm in the countryside with people from other countries as well, its a long time without seeing us and the time zones will be reversed day-night and night-day so there will be almost nothing talk. She is 22 and still in college, and she also didn’t want to wait a year for us to go together. It’s a kind of healing journey, she had a rough year but that even breaks the promise that neither of us would take solo journeys in the relationship
My girlfriend is going to a three-months trip in the Netherlands, what should I expect??
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… yeah dog I would be raising my eyebrow.
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That’s our girlfriend now
When I was your age my girlfriend went to Italy and she had been many times and had boyfriends there. She was so disappointed that she remained loyal but that I seemed unemotional when she returned. She broke it off and I deserved it.
What if you changed places with her? What are the rules now?
Go listen to Jude law and a semester abroad and you will have your answer.
Cmon guy
Oh you’re both so young!! We all think we are or want to marry the person we are with at this age. We don’t!
Let her live her life. You are doubting something or not having trust in her?
Of course you will miss her. She will miss you. What she’s going to do is a lot of work. I’m a Jewish girl from Manhattan. Most of us tried the kibbutz thingy.. it wasn’t glamorous at all and I hated it. But it sounds like she is doing something else.
3 months flies by. Don’t just exist while she goes on living. Don’t worry about anything and don’t sell yourself short either! Good luck to you!
Break up. Y’all to young and rarely does this end well. Especially with her free spirit vibes
I remember when gf went on a Thailand trip with her friends. We broke up 3 months later.
Tell her to have a wonderful time and give her a kiss.
Bro you’re a single man now, trust!
A very tired right hand
Her to come back with an STD.
Her to come back with an STI, a new boyfriend or both.
She’s going to bang other dudes within the first two weeks.
Everyone else can beat around the bush in the comments but she’s going to be getting her bush beaten.
5 week rule.
The amount of time a solo traveler can stay chaste on average.
Go check out r/military for a glimpse into your future relationship.
RIP this relationship
The biggest red flag is that you implied you guys could have gone together in a year, she just didn’t “want to wait”.
Don’t forget to hand her your nuts wrapped nicely in a goodie bag before she leaves lmaooo
It’ll either be a boy or a girl.
Tell her to ensure she always uses protection
At the very least open the relationship for both of you before she leaves. She says she won’t cheat. That’s until some cute Dutch boy starts working on the farm with her, then it “just sorta happend, okay, I don’t want to talk about it.” I’ve seen it happen a million fuckin times.
2-3 weeks is a “healing journey”. 3 months is a hall pass to fuck around and make drunken mistakes with random dudes.
Orgies and drugs all day, every day.
Well if it makes you feel better, Dutch guys are notoriously bad at flirting
Expect her to have some good sex.
She’s going to go and have a hot girl summer. I’m sorry dude.
drugs and sex
its a fucking rave, and the Dutch go crazy man
Huh is that a thing in The Netherlands? Maybe I don’t know because I live here and I only hear about people backpacking and working on farms in Australia.
She will be hella dicked down, my guy. Sorry.
I feel sorry that everyone is bashing her. Here’s the thing, you’re both young. 22 is really that time where she needs to figure out what she wants. You say that she’s had a tough year and I think it’s incredible that she allows herself this 3 month healing journey. I wish I could have done that when I was 22.
Of course it really hurts potentially breaking up over this. But I think this is the right decision. At this age you don’t know if it’s gonna last. Good for her for prioritizing her mental health.
You just both need to be honest about it that she needs this space to figure things out for herself and you don’t know if your relationship is gonna survive. That’s tough but it’s fair.
There is nothing wrong with her going by herself, I don’t known why you made that promise in the first place. But from other comments I get the thing is not mutual (she would break up with reversed roles). She is basically humiliating you, just break up so you can both be free.
what’s the name of the farm?
Oof just 22 and she needs to go on a ‘healing journey’ life is going to be rough!
a breakup, just do it before she goes so at least you’ll get the truth of what she does when some comes back looking for stable boyfriend material again
will make it way easier to move on when you have the painful details of her infidelity
She is going to be a pin cushion for 3 months,save yourself the trouble and break up
If she returns she’ll have a few more piercings in unexpected places,a couple more tattoos and whole new knicker wardrobe- she’ll have binned the rest.
Get out stay out
Long distance is hard and it’ll be harder if you can’t really communicate. I don’t agree with the other comments that are jumping straight to her cheating. I would be fine with my girlfriend did that trip, I know she wouldn’t cheat on me. But I would really struggle with that distance between us where we don’t really have any contact.
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Open communication and mutual trust will be key during this time apart.
She is 22, in college, would not wait for you two to go together and wants to do it as a healing journey? Common my man. If you can blank it out, my thumbs up to you.
“Healing Journey” or the modern romantic fantasy of the Western bobo. Sorry it was stronger than me.
As for your girl, she’s going to get fucked lots of times during her trip, you may or may not know anything about it but in any case you can move on.
Are you willing to father the child of another man?
Sorry bro
When I was 19, I went to Spain for 3 months to work at a night club and chill at the beach. Lived in a huge house with all other workers. A few months before I left, I started dating this guy. He didn’t ask me not to go. Just asked if I still wanted to be in a relationship with him, which I did. So he was fine. He trusted me. I ended up realising that I was not the partying type and went home after the first month. We’ve been together almost 20 years, married for 15.
Let her go dude. If she loves you, all will be good.
Take your luggage 🧳 and go for your own solo trip, enjoy it. If she decides do her things alone, go to do the same.
I think it’s unfair to assume she will cheat (although yeah probably). I think the real red flag here is that you promised you wouldn’t take solo trips. What kind of controlling bullshit says you can’t take a trip alone the rest of your life?
She doesn’t want to go with you and she doesn’t want you to go alone.
WTF do you think is going to happen?
Take some fatherly advice : let this one go
FYI, Dutch people are hot.
Source: My wife is Dutch.
U should ask this on r/longdistance instead. They will give you real answers
Healing journey is not going to raves and partying aint it. She’ll find some guy that’s interesting and romanticise this whole experience as a journey with you as the foil.
She wants to be a “free spirit”, you should just break up with her and save yourself some face.
This is clearly not what you’re looking for my man.
It sucks, but the sooner you come to terms with the reality of the situation, the better off you will be.
In my opinion she is doing the right thing. Depends on you girlfriend and your relationship if this will end in a happy reunion or not.
I did the same thing when I was 21 and when i came back after a year i was happily together with my girl for another 2 years. In the end we broke up for unrelated reasons.
Clogs
That’s everyone’s gf now op. Move on she’s going on a sex oddessy through Europe
Soooo when is our gf here?
She seems like stu’s gf, Melissa from hangover.
Lots of very frustrated possessive dudes out there, i let my girlfriend away for 4 months when we were 21, and then again for 6 months when we were 23 (got together at 18). It was hard to be alone but nothing happened and it was fine meeting again afterward. This was many years ago and we’re still living our best life.
Just to show you it can go well.
Ask her what would happend if the situation would be reversed : would she be mad at you ?
If the answer is yes, then there is a problem.
Leave with dignity while you still can
To not have a gf in 3 months
Either you trust each other enough or you’ll have to talk this out.
I don’t get why you promised each other to not go on solo journeys? If you fear you cheat on each other, you have some serious issues you – again – should talk about. A relationship means to trust each other. If you try to gain control over each other, it’s not a relationship, it’s an ownership
Weed and clamydia
If you have a condition on a relationship, like no solo trips (which is wild to me but that’s my own life and trust of my partner) and she chose to go when you were not… That is someone getting out of a relationship. Possibly someone trying to get away from the other.
Saying things like, our schedules will be too different to talk… Means they don’t want to talk. You said they had a rough year and maybe, just maybe, they also see you as part of that rough year. It seems like someone doesn’t want to do the breaking up… But is essentially breaking up.
They know exactly what they’re doing.
This sounds as the beginning of a crime story.
Not sure how to tell you this my guy, but im assuming you already know, and were hoping someone was gonna tell you, it will all be fine. But shes not going to be thinking of you over there.
In all honesty, if I were you, id tell her to have fun, and say you are going to as well, she shouldnt worry about you. Flip the script a bit. Shes broken your promises already on solo trips, so anything she says afterwards is kinda pointless. If travelling together was an option a year later, and she said NO to this, my dude she doesnt care about you or being together. Move on son, let the heart heal and find someone that actually wants to do life with you.
People in this thread jumping to conclusions that she’ll cheat right away are telling on themselves. Peolple that speak like that would probably would hook up as soon as situation would come up. This guy could as well misinterpreting her words. Nothing wrong wanting to go on solo trip when young and you actually have time to do it. If you can’t trust her with that better break up before the trip and find people you can trust. Also ask her opinion if she would let you go on a solo trip, dontmake assumptions. She could as well changed her mind about that
She’s gone
Expect to be dating again real soon.
I’m a woman and engaged haha but I want to know what this rave is – sounds incredible.
She will be surrounded by attractive guys who are over 1m85 tall (that’s like 6 foot 2), blonde and have chiseled jawlines
Tulips and mushrooms ? And Delft Blue stuff. Anything Delft blue. In fact she will come back turned to a Delft blue herself.
Let me guide her just so she wont bang other dudes
Just break up now. It’s inevitably going to happen. Tear the band-aid off sooner rather than later.
ragebait post
She’s gonna bang 3 dudes at the rave, and bang all the farmhands the whole time. Sorry bro
You can’t make a house wife from a ho. She’s a ho, move on and find a better woman.
Let her go, completely. Tell her if she wants to get back together when she comes back, great. You’re both young. You’re both going to want to do stuff. Keep in touch. I had a girlfriend when I left for a long time. We didn’t talk about it, but it was a given that we weren’t going to be exclusive. By the time I was about to come back, we were both in relationships with other people. We’re still friends. You’ll save yourself heartache by splitting as friends.
No solo trips in a relationship? Even short ones? Some of my biggest regrets are my trips where I had a boyfriend at home who didn’t understand why I prioritize travel and I very much acted like I had a bf at home. So many fun opportunities missed. I think how it goes for you is if you fully trust her and don’t act crazy about minor things or if you go full blown jealous that’ll be a fast way to crash everything to the ground and then blame it on her travel when in reality it’s your jealousy. If you don’t trust her you shouldn’t be together. She sounds dope though!
Just agree that you two are on a “break” to figure out “what you are” and to “try other people” when she’s away so its not a surprise for you later.
Lots of Heineken and penis obviously
Buy some Cheetos and remember to wash your hands. No need to see a doctor.
Well hello, Cernunnos, lord of the forests.
I once dated a girl who did exactly the same thing and EVERY time after we fucked, she’d called her bf to tell him she missed and loved him.
He got a lot of calls…..
Bro, that’s a red flag so red that it’s black.
Aa someone who, whilst being in a relationship, studied abroad in Italy for 7 months with no intention (or action) of cheating on my partner, and also spent 3 years on distance ( each in a different country), these comments and assumptions really hurt my soul. Jeez not everyone’s a monster!
“healing journey”
Just fucking lol
I (46m) had a similar situation with my girlfriend at that age. We had been together for about 2 years. She went to Italy for a summer school course and travelled around Europe for a couple months after. I was nervous, but she was faithful. We’ve been together for 25 years and are happily married. If you love her, and you trust that she loves you, give her a chance. Talk a lot about it before she leaves and make sure of her intentions.
Your title says three months your post says three days, which is it
You don’t have a girlfriend anymore.
If you love someone, set them free
Let her go. Find another woman, a better one.
When is she leaving? I have a feeling she’ll be single 1 or 2 days before that.
Brace for impact.
A crappy tshirt and a pregnant girlfriend.
Tell her to double bag the produce.
Y’all better start planning your own trip to the beach.
I’d expect you’ll not see her for 3 months and when she’s back you should expect gonorrhea, chlamydia, crabs, some pink eye and a bad dose of blue waffle……. Trust me…. don’t google it.
It just sucks that she could rail like 25 dudes in 3 months and this guy will be lucky to get a handjob from a bag lady in the same amount of time, 😂.
You already know, my guy!
Either you trust her or you don’t. It sounds like you don’t.
RIP
>My girlfriend is going to a three-months trip in the Netherlands, what should I expect??
depends… is she really really attractive… because Dutch women are, so do you have much to worry about?
End it. The fact that she wants to go on a 3 month trip without you when there was the option to do it with you says it all. Don’t just end it, end it and go do something big yourself.
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This is a tough one. I would definitely have a serious talk with her beforehand, and decide together where do you stand. Maybe the right thing to do is to break up before going, and see what happens after she’s back; maybe you recommit, maybe not. This way, nobody cheated. Some times, spending time apart can make a relationship much stronger.
It’s not *impossible* for her to be there and faithful, but she can be unfaithful without you knowing, whereas you can’t, which is unfair to you, and can bring distrust and resentment.
You’re young. Imo its best to break up now. End on good terms. Come back together if it feels right.
She ain’t your girl anymore.
And her farts never made a sound again.
She will have sex with someone from the Netherlands…
She will almost certainly sleep with someone else. You should as well, when you see each other again maybe you can work through it? I know couples that are happily married now that had flings during long separations. People like to fuck lol
Healing journey? Bitch got too much free time on her hands…
You gonna get cheated on, might as well break up
You should expect that your girlfriend is going on a three-months trip to the Netherlands
Expect tall Dutch guy dong
Fuck this is a toxic comment section. All depends on how your relationship is now and wether you trust each other, if that’s the case you’ll probably be fine. If you don’t you’ve got your answer as well.
Ever seen Midsommar?
It’s the beginning of the end. Get out now!
She wont be back. Or if she does it will be after fucking dozens of guys
She expects you to wait around for 3 mos. without any consideration for your feelings?
Dude,…go on your own trip 😎! That way you’re not worried about what she’s doing on her trip.
If it is needed to promize in a relation that you are not allowed to make solo journeys, then something is off.
What’s the rave she is going to? That’d make it easier to say haha. Otherwise, don’t think that anything bad will happen. The Netherlands is relatively safe and if she is in the countryside it’s even safer.
I think you should expect a lot of heartbreak. I’m sorry for you.
Expect to be single in less than 3 months.
In my experience these girls hold off until like 2 weeks before leaving and then get their plough on
I’ve done a lot of solo travel for extended periods.
She is going to fucking other dudes – no ifs, and, buts about it.
This will be a ‘summer of discovery’ for her.
She will go through all the phases – she’ll bang another dude, and she will hate herself after that little it of self-discovery. She will probably bang a few more dudes to punish herself for it. Someone will come along and help her with the healing process, and just like that, she will have found her summer love – they will be both physically and emotionally intimate for the rest of the trip – she will remember him for the rest of her life. When it’s all done she will come home a new woman.
The new her will come back and either love you more than ever – she ‘knows’ that you know – she is filth, she doesn’t deserve you (in her mind.) She will fight for you. OR, she will come back, take one look at you, and realize she has outgrown you – that you are holding her back – that everything that happened over the summer was her subconscious forcing her to move on.
Seen in play out so many times.
You either give her space and accept what she has to do, or you don’t. Its not really up to you at this point, it’s her journey.
Weed, magic mushrooms, red light district, tulips, EDM, list goes on
Just spit balling but here’s some things that happened in the multiverse that might not happen in this universe.
She finds someone else there and breaks up with you.
She finds herself there and breaks up with you.
She finds new friends who convince her to break up with you.
She gets pregnant and she hides it and breaks up with you (I think that was a black mirror episode from the recent season).
She gets pregnant and decides to work it out with the baby daddy and brings him back or moves with him.
Darker ones is she gets taken advantage of at the rave and it psychologically messes her up.
She comes back with a new lease on life and wants to live wild but with you by her side.
She realizes she misses you a lot and vows to never want to be apart again.
She begs you to join her and fly right away.
So let me get this straight, your girlfriend wants to go on a MOTNHS long trip with people in your age bracket to party, and isn’t even willing to wait a year so you can go with her?
This is a blaring neon red light. It is brighter than every light in Las Vegas, combined. Not only is this a blatantly obvious cheating opportunity, it’s so blatant that frankly, I think there’s a good chance that she already is. Holy shit, this is so bad.
STIs.