I had been dealing with pain while peeing so I went to see a urologist yesterday. My girlfriend wanted to come with me for support so we went to the appointment together. During the physical examination, the doctor who happened to be a woman, had to check my genitals, and the thing of mine got hard out of the blue. It was completely involuntary and not sexual at all as I was nervous and really embarrassed. After the appointment, my girlfriend started acting distant. When I asked why, she said it made her feel disrespected and she felt like I was cheating. I explained it was involuntary and had nothing to do with attraction but she’s still cold and upset until now. I don’t know how to fix this or explain it better. How do I talk to her and clear things up?
My girlfriend is mad at me over something I couldn’t control during a doctor’s visit, what do i do?
r/Advice
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She’s being immature. It wasn’t voluntary. Maybe don’t tell her next time lol
Hand her a pamphlet about how penises work. You shouldn’t suffer due to other people’s ignorance of biology.
Did you really bring your gf…
🤦♂️
Is she 12?
Don’t let other people into an examination room with you. They can “support” you from the waiting room.
Did she insist on coming with you? Just to purposely get herself all upset 😂 red flags…run my guy, she’ll have you in absolutely agony rather than let a fully trained professional near the cause of the pain 😂
She’s immature and insecure.
Sounds like she’s paranoid. All you can do is explain it was an examination. It would be a problem in your relationship if that kind of thing upsets her.
Was it your girlfriend? Wanted to come for support or your girlfriend doesn’t like you to go anywhere without her where you may be showing people your junk?
Sounds like the kind of person who would blame you if you got assaulted
Why do you guys like dealing with women like this? Can’t you see you will be unhappy with her? Is she that fine? Is your Gf aware that your dick gets hard several times overnight while you sleep? Does she think that is cheating?
I would have laughed 😂 she’s being so inmature, you have nothing to explain to her… this is her insecurities, she should work on them
She came to “support” you and now she’s pissed at you. Thanks babe. Tell her to fuck off.
This hurts my brain.
That’s just plain ignorant of her, dudes have a very reactive organ, most, you look at it and it reacts, attraction not necessary. Girly needs to grow up some and understand basic human/male biology.
If she reacts like this, I hope she doesnt bitch about you reacting poorly to period shit, because holy double standards batman
Time and reassurance is all she will need
Well definitely don’t bring her “as support” next time. She’s extremely immature and insecure. You already explained yourself, there’s nothing left to clear up. If anything she should apologize for overreacting. Is this the type of person you want to deal with? Jealous at a Dr’s appointment?
I would never let my boyfriend into the exam room when I was having a gyn appointment. Why was she there? Maybe it’s time for you to work on boundaries?
Your GF is a total idiot here – you are in pain in the doctors and she is only concerned with your involuntary stiffy!! What is wrong with her? Next time go on your own – she is obviously not really for adult stuff yet
Oh for cripes sake, give her a book on the male anatomy. It’s the same as a nipple hard on so to speak.
u/Worried_Macaron_5879 Tell her “erectile tissue is part of a system that often gets hard for no reason. Morning wood for example is your body testing if your penis is still working despite there being no stimulus. Anxiety boners happen frequently. If she doesnt want to understand that, she can just leave.”
Having another set of ears and a caring heart during stressful, important drs appts is a great idea. Sorry your gf is being so immature.
If you have painful urination she probably thinks you have an STD and that’s her reason for going. Then she thinks ok he gets hard for anyone and that reinforces the std argument. I would start there.
Tell her to Grow up.
Your girlfriend is an idiot
She was with you in The exam room?
This behavior is actually abusive. Medical providers being seen as sexualizing during an exam or procedure is a type of control by a partner.
I don’t think she was there to support you, if that was the case she’d wait outside, if she wanted to walk in there with you it was out of jealousy and probably just looking to start an argument
My god why in the fuck was she in the exam room?
Do you think it would have happened if the doctor would have been an old man? If so, then she needs to understand that bodies have physical reactions to stimuli even when they aren’t attracted to someone. It even happens during sexual assaults. And even if it wouldn’t have happened with an old man and happened with this doctor because she was an attractive female- still, how are you being punished for something natural happening? I guess you could have thought of things that turn you off but you weren’t expecting this to happen. This lady was a professional, a doctor trying to help you. It’s so unfair of her to punish you for this when you let her join you for your appointment. If the genders were reversed I’d tell you that your partner seems controlling and even emotionally abusive. That they need to go to therapy and get help. That maybe you shouldn’t be with them because who wants to live like that. And I’m someone that used to be insecure and jealous in my relationships. It’s exhausting.
She was in the room with you?
I’ve been married 30 years and have only been in the room with my husband when he was getting surgery the next day.
She’s not sure how men work and the exam room was no place for her to find out.
This honestly sounds like a mix of embarrassment and insecurity on both ends. Gently remind her our bodies can react involuntarily under stress and reassure her with openness
Tell her to put on a lab coat and make your dreams come true. Step up or step aside. 😂
Don’t have sex with someone who doesn’t know how a penis works.
I’d believe it was involuntary but not sexual? Clearly it was. Bet you don’t get a hardon with a male doctor?
You don’t say how old she is but she’s acting like a jealous teenager. Does she not understand you have zero control over that? You can’t fix something when someone is being unreasonable, just let her know that you’re ready to speak to her again when she finally realizes you aren’t hot for your doctor and the reaction was completely out of your control. If she doesn’t apologize and accept she acted immaturely, is this the type of woman you want?
That’s absolutely ridiculous, dude
Did your girlfriend go to an all girl boarding school from 7-25? Does she not have access to any embarrassing coming of age comedy film/tv?
All of us regular humans have experienced/witnessed a moment where our body responded differently than we would wish- burp, fart, untimely period, vomit, heck even sweat – has she never had a – whoa it must be cold moments when wearing an unlined bra?
Tell her to grow up or just go find an adult to date who will be understanding and help you feel less embarrassed instead of cranking your embarrassment up to 11.
She’s just being childish really. She can’t come for support and then turn around and use something you had no control over against.
😂
How did the doctor react to your erection?
Did she grab it 😂😂😂😂
Tell her one day she’ll miss when men get hard so easily lol
Why the fuck would you bring your girlfriend into a appointment about your dick? If she doesn’t like what she saw, tell her she can leave. Or you can choose to play these stupid little mind games she has set up. She’s clearly insecure and jealous and that will only get worse over time. So if you like being micromanaged, gaslighted, and put under a microscope, stay with this chick.
Leave your girlfriend at home next time and be a big boy. Problem solved.
She needs to learn some biology, this is unreasonable behavior from her
You did nothing wrong. She will either see reason or not.
If she doesn’t think about if you really are happy.
You can’t. Either she gets over it or not. It’s on her. She wanted to come, so she saw it all. Now, she needs to deal with it.
Genitals respond to stimulation. She’s being dumb
There is no reason for anyone else to be inside the exam room with you at the doctor as a grown man, assuming you have all of your mental faculties about you.
She was immature to bully her way into he room and she’s being immature about this now. Reevaluate your relationship, she’s probably not going to grow out if this nonsense anytime soon.
Sorry? She came with you into the examination room? Is she your mother? You, a child?
And now she’s whining because you got an involuntary erection?
How much does she know about male anatomy and physiology?
-10. God she’s crass, ignorant, and childish.
Your girlfriend is acting like a child, you deserve better
Lmao didn’t let my girl come but same. Got an Ultrasound on my nuts 🤣 that cool jelly let me tell ya! 🤣🤣🤣
This is a problem on her end, only she can deal with it. You’ve done all you can by explaining to her that erections are involuntary, it’s up to her what she does with that information
I Would leave her alone to get over it in her own time, don’t waste your energy trying to reason with her
There are some things your significant other shouldn’t know about. This is one of those things. Set some boundaries going forward.
Sometimes all you can do is live and learn. This is one of those times.
Your GF should realize that people have involuntary reactions when they are stressed and put in a vulnerable situation. especially when there is a potential to be humiliated. Now you know it is not a good idea to invite a girlfriend along when you go to the doctor for this type of visit.
This particular girlfriend may be too immature to handle what happened. In that case, you haven’t lost much. Just let her go and resolve never to make that same mistake again. She has proven she can’t be trusted in intimate situations involving medical professionals. From now on, keep your doctor/patient interactions private.