My girlfriend isn’t on birth control and she gets mad if we don’t have sex?

r/

You have to take what I say at face value because it’s the truth:

I always go very soft with condoms no matter the brand. Trust me, I would wear one in a heart beat if I could (tried a lot of brands and sizes). My girlfriend won’t take birth control, so we always relied on plan B.

The problem is she wants to have sex when I know she’s ovulating, and I’m terrified of having a kid at this unstable time of my life. I also know that Plan B doesn’t work during ovulation.

When I turn her down and voice my concerns, she becomes very angry. It’ll turn into an hour argument. She will heavily, heavily claim that she knows her body and knows she isn’t ovulating. I often hear “I already ovulated last week.” She also doesn’t feel comfortable taking birth control because of potential side effects.

Is there anything I can do here, or something I’m not seeing?

Comments

  1. Singaporecane Avatar

    Uh…. Run now, or you’re gonna get trapped for life.

  2. Brittany-OMG-Tiffany Avatar

    Yall are not compatible. That’s irresponsible and reckless.

  3. RutTrut69 Avatar

    Don’t have unprotected sex if you don’t want a child. It’s not a difficult concept. If you don’t want a kid, get a vasectomy.

  4. ask-me-about-my-cats Avatar

    You’re eventually going to have a child if this continues. End the relationship for both your sakes.

  5. MakingBaconnPancakes Avatar

    Plan b for birth control is a horrible idea

  6. Schmuck1138 Avatar

    You have three choices:

    1. Learn to keep it up with a condom

    2. Learn to change a diaper

    3. Leave

  7. Solid_Arachnid_9231 Avatar

    She should definitely not be using plan B as a replacement for birth control. It’s called an “emergency contraceptive” for a reason.

  8. LadderWonderful2450 Avatar

    She sounds abusive. Men can experience abuse and sexual coercion too. It sounds like you are not consenting to unprotected sex and she is trying to force you. That’s not okay. That’s really not okay.

  9. ama223 Avatar

    Know what else makes you go soft? A newborn.

  10. EndlesslyUnfinished Avatar

    Pregnancy kink anyone?

    Also, you’re at your horniest when you are about to or just ovulating. I’m a girl, I know.. don’t have unprotected sex

  11. Bunks_ Avatar

    Wrap it up.

  12. Shadow_Integration Avatar

    You’re not seeing that you’re in a shitty relationship with a person who may baby trap you sooner than later. Plan B is not acceptable long term birth control. It can really mess up a woman’s hormones if used on the regular.

    She’s being extremely immature and manipulative. At the end of the day – if either of you aren’t willing to use regular birth control, then the outcome of pregnancy is only a matter of time at this point.

    You would be much safer dumping her than chancing the next (minimum) 18 years being tethered to her with a baby you never wanted.

  13. ThunderToio Avatar

    I know this isn’t exactly the point of your post but more than the risk of getting someone pregnant I’m worried about sti’s, hormonal birth control is not gonna prevent those.

  14. idkhowbtfmbttf Avatar

    Run Forrest! Run!!!

  15. eliowings Avatar

    Reddit is a crazy place. Everybody is like “run” or “shes not meant for you” never “you should talk it out”

  16. grand305 Avatar

    No tracker is accurate about Ovulation.

    Run. 🏃

    Plan b can eventually fail. and you are baby trapped.

  17. Tschudy Avatar

    Is a vasectomy in the budget? Maybe see if she’d be willing to help with the costs of that.

  18. Maxious24 Avatar

    Either she goes on birth control or you leave. There’s no other option. Give her the ultimatum.

  19. SmokeyMacPott Avatar

    Ask your self, if you’re ready to become the one and true pullout king?

  20. throwaway13630923 Avatar

    USE A DAMN CONDOM OP!!!!

    Unless you are in the very, very small minority of men that legitimately cannot fit a condom, it’s in your head. Otherwise accept that you are going to have a kid with her at some point. Plan B is not intended to be taken regularly, and generally speaking the side effects are more severe than just standard birth control.

  21. ArchStantonsNeighbor Avatar

    Might want to start talking about baby names because that is where you’re headed.

  22. El_gato_picante Avatar

    There is a lot more to sex than piv

  23. CakeComprehensive870 Avatar

    I will say, birth control sucks. I’ve tried almost all of them and the symptoms are horrendous for me. So it sucks you can’t wear condoms. I guess this isn’t going to work out for yall.

  24. whitebread13 Avatar

    You’re holding her back from finding a partner who wants children, now.

  25. Amaze-balls-trippen Avatar

    So women get more horny when they are ovulating, also explains why she gets angry. It’s a primal thing. It does not excuse her not respecting your boundaries.

  26. Smashingistrashing Avatar

    She’s trying to have your baby. If you aren’t interested in that you need to wrap it, always.

    Personally I’d recommend you break up because she’s not going to stop until she gets her baby. Then you will always have to know her.

  27. moldynuggz Avatar

    You just bust in her Everytime ?

  28. Elly_Fant628 Avatar

    I tried to find the red flag emoji but I think your gf has them all.

  29. Final-North8276 Avatar

    potential side effects… how about the potential side effects of popping plan B’s like candy

  30. Huntokar_Goddess Avatar

    No woman knows with 100% certainty when they are ovulating. That is a lie. She may know her fertile window, but not when she is ovulating down to the exact second.

    Having said that, why are you having sex with someone you shouldn’t be having sex with? I don’t buy that you can’t use condoms, but for the sake of argument, if that is the case, then you should really talk with a professional. And not have sex with women who don’t take birth control.

    You could use a female condom, too. Or use other barrier methods…Plan B is just not sustainable or healthy. You gotta think about STIs here, not just pregnancy.

    Frankly, I would suggest you break up.

  31. poppinwheelies Avatar

    Keep this shit up and you’ll be a father very, very soon. You are playing Russian roulette.

  32. _hellojello__ Avatar

    She either needs to get on BC, get her tube’s tied or you need to get a vasectomy.

    It takes two to tango but only one of you seems to be taking it seriously. That’s a rock and a hard place man. Stick to your guns but ne prepared to lose her over it I guess

  33. Reveal_Visual Avatar

    Dude, she sounds scary. Run!

  34. smedlap Avatar

    You are not seeing the consequences. I do intakes at a family law firm for my job. Every single day I talk to at least one man who was tricked into getting a woman pregnant. Child support lasts 18 to 23 years and is a significant percentage of your income. Unless you want to raise a child with this woman, dump her now.

  35. dodgystyle Avatar

    There are non-hormonal BC options. But I think you should leave her anyway. She’s coercing you to take risks you’re not comfortable with that could affect the rest of your life. She sounds like a selfish, unstable, impulsive person. Definitely not someone you want to be stuck raising a kid with, especially in an unstable financial situation.