So i (21M) and my gf (19F) haven’t seen eachother in a couple months anyways so we haven’t engaged in sex for a while and recently she called me, not feeling too happy anyways, and she opened up that she was feeling guilty about not being honest about climaxing recently during sex. She has recently bought a vibrator too which ofc will help as women struggle to finish from penetration alone so I have no issues with using it to try and help. We never had issues before this though to my knowledge. Regardless, we has used it a couple times during sex and also not used it after the purchase too. Im not sure how recent she hadn’t been finishing but when she told me, it made me feel really shitty. If she had told me during sex then I would have continued to make sure she finishes too. But because she withheld the information, I feel like next time we begin to become intimate, im going to be stuck in my head, feeling so much pressure that she will lie again to idk maybe make me feel better? I told her to be honest with me but I fear that she won’t as she didnt the last few times. Since she has told me this, I feel like even with myself, I’ve became so much less sexual. Ive significantly reduced masturbation because its put me off, I’ve stopped having sexual thoughts and even when something inappropriate randomly pops up on instagram or tiktok or even tv shows, I end up looking away and finding it repulsive. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as im worried Ive just lost my libido now and she will leave me for someone who can always sexually satisfy her.
My girlfriend recently lied about finishing during sex and now i feel pressured
r/Advice
Comments
She probably didn’t fake it to hurt you, most girls do it to avoid awkwardness. It sucks, but her telling you now shows she wants honesty. Your libido’s not gone, you’re just stressed. Give yourself time. Don’t let this one moment mess with your confidence
Research as much as you can, definitely helps. Be sure to be yourself and not feel as though you are inadequate. A blessing in disguise is seeing certain videos as a student rather than a consumer.
Trust in the process and learn to accept failure, first and foremost CONSENT IS KING.
Most times chicks like to be teased and led on more than the actual act. I enjoy cunnilingus but you MUST set it all up and BE CONFIDENT EVEN IN FAILURE.
Not angry, but understanding.
Every woman is different (mostly lol)
I read less than 30% of woman are able to climax through penetration alone. Of course there is more nuance than that, but I can understand how you feel.
I’m sorry you feel pressured – keep in mind that climaxing is down to both of you, not just you. What are you both doing to help each other get there?
FYI, very few women can finish from penetration. They need your finger and they usually need their hand on your hand for guidence and control.
Also if they were alone they would likely be satisfied after one go. Not so when you’re supplying the energy. Pause, then slowly start up again. Sometimes she can get 6, 8, 10 or more. Stop when she throws your hand off.
Take a gas station pill and plow her thru the mattress for 8 hours see if she ask you to go longer again
I really wouldn’t take it personal. It’s most likely her. Does everything else in the relationship feel normal still or does it seem off?
Both of you are young and this is
where you both start really finding out what you enjoy in bed. What’s going to do it for you. I don’t think you should have stopped masturbating because that is a completely normal human need. There is nothing wrong with self pleasure. A vibrator is in most women’s homes, so don’t any offense to that. Do you have foreplay and after play? I’m asking because during foreplay focus on her clitoris orally and with a toy. Toys are fun in bed. If you happen to shoot your shot first then keep pleasuring her until she gets hers. Go back down and use the toy on her. And have a conversation about what you both want in bed be honest. Watch porn together or separate. Not only is it hot it’s educational lol but really it is. Not all women fake it. Some just say get off of me and leave.
Foreplay. Get her off before you two have sex. This way you know she’s taken care of and you don’t have that pressure while doing the deed.
I think the lack of foreplay could be the issue. It is so important. It deepens the connection. Ask her questions. Does this feel good? Show me how to touch you. Don’t feel discouraged. As you have read, penetrative sex alone is not enough for a woman to climax. Take things slowly
Some men never figure this out. Just keep listening, you are on the right track
Get her a clit sucker while you have sex and that’ll solve her problem and yours.