It will be my daughters first plane trip, I’m no longer with her mother, (years) and now I have a GF, been together almost a year, we are planning a short small international trip with gf and daughter, gf says she always has the window seat and won’t give it up, even for my daughter to look at the view and experience flight for the first time, seems kind of shitty.
Should I just book us in two separate rows and let her be, or raise an issue about how that’s a bit rude?
My girlfriend refuses to give up the window seat for my 5yo girl (daughters first flight)
r/AITAH
Comments
Two rows
Book 2 separate rows with many rows in between.
Give your GF a seat next to the window in a different row or rather dump her cause im damn sure she will dump you after that. Sounds like a bi*ch.
Both probably. To me that’s a huge red flag. Are you paying for all the seats?
Hate to say it but your gf isn’t going to last. That’s horrible
Sorry, but that’s not only rude to you and your kid, it has some evil Disney’s step-mother vibes to it. Kid, if something I have leaned from Reddit is that when someone shows you who they really are for the first time, believe them. Your first and gigantic priority is your kid, not a chick who cannot fathom the idea that you are a father and who is so selfish to compete with a five years old toddler. I am not you, but if I were, I would start to RUN.
3rd option. Dump her ass
Red flag. Someone who takes this attitude to your child is not someone you can build a future with while still being a good parent.
If that’s how she treats your kid you don’t need her around. Dump her, get a refund on her seat and spend that money on your kid instead.
The petty me would book 2 seats in first class for you and your kiddo. Let her suffer in coach. 🤣
Ew dump her. She does not love your daughter. That is dangerous.
Time for a new GF my guy
Not mother or wife material
Do not leave this person alone with your innocent daughter.
Wow. Please dump this pond scum before she ruins your daughter. Her pussy cant be that good
NTA, why though? Just let her enjoy that window seat by herself.
Two rows
Tell her to book her own flight. Why are you paying for your gfs travel?
Why are you taking a spoiled woman on a trip? This tells you how the relationship with this woman and your children will be. Not only would I not take this girlfriend on a trip. I would cut her free now before this is a bigger headache for you down the road. Also if you’re paying then you get to say who sits where.
Just book 2 rows, it’s not that deep. If you had already booked a full row for the 3 of you and now she was saying she wants the window I’d get it, but you know she would like the window beforehand, no reason to ignore her wishes, you can just sit separately. Cant imagine why she’d have a problem with it.
People are being rlly harsh about your girlfriend, I dont get it, many reasons someone might want to sit in a certain spot on a plane. You haven’t booked yet it’s no biggie. If she has a problem with sitting separately but still won’t move then yeah, she’s TA. But just do 2 rows for now.
Edit: just to add on I feel like there’s no where near enough context to tell if she’s really being as much of a b as everyone is making her out to be in these comments
Red flag. Get a different girlfriend
Being a parent – and step parent (I am one) is a selfless job. It’s all about making magical moments for the kids when they have these types of experiences and compromising with us adults usually getting the crappier outcome.
I would ask myself if this person is the correct partner for me (someone who has kids) or not as this is not the last time she will think of herself first.
I think you’re not compatible as she does not seem kid friendly (perfectly her right, but then she should not date a father). Is she happy with your arrangement to go on holiday with your daughter ? Cause it does not seem so.
Book business class for you and your daughter. Your gf can enjoy the economy window seat.
NTA. This is not someone you want to be in a serious relationship with as a parent.
I fly for work and I fly a ton. I need a window seat to not be extremely anxious. I don’t know why, but flights without one are terrifying. If I am in the aisle I believe the plane will crash. Not consciously, but in some corner of my brain I don’t control. I would take a window seat next to a 500 pound man who smells like garlic over an entire row in the center of the plane. I realize that is insane, and I deal with it when I have to, but I wouldn’t give it up either.
Ask her why.
Jesus cries, your gf is as much entitled to the seat as a kid or any other PAYING customer. So drop that entitlement. That being said think about your relationship with her as clearly your kid comes first for you and she may not want to be the step parents you want
Info: Why won’t she give up the seat?
If it’s because it’s her very first flight too/she suffers from claustrophobia, airsickness or fear of flying then you should just book different isles and see each other on the other side.
If she’s just doing it to be selfish though then that’s an issue worth discussing because being a step parent requires making sacrifices for a child that isn’t ‘yours’.
If this is a pattern, where she wants everything to be her way and is trying to make this holiday all about what she wants and not what your daughter wants, that’s a red flag bigger than (for you yanks) the Empire State Building. If this is just a one off thing and she’s otherwise happy to make all plans kid friendly and focused on what’s going to make your daughter happy then just see it as a quirk and move on. It’s really not just all black & white.
I’d get rid of the girlfriend’s ticket and just go with my daughter
I know it’s only been a year or less, but if yall are all going on vacation together then she needs to take your daughter into consideration. When you date someone with kids, you’re not just in a relationship with the adult, but also the child. While Girlfriend not budging on this, is an asshole move, she doesn’t need to give up her seat, but if she gets pissed because you book a separate row for you and your daughter, the relationship looks bleak.
This could be blown out of proportion also though. Have you asked your daughter if she wants a window seat? It could turn into her in the window seat, but then she gets anxious and wants to be away from the window, and yall end up playing musical chairs, allowing your girlfriend to have the window.
whos paying? if you are by yourself I guess shes shit outta luck
If she’s paying for her ticket she can sit wherever she wants. And yes, that is a hint.
Before I make a judgment… were planning to stick gf in middle or would you give her your aisle seat?
Why is she not your ex?
NTA, your gf is. Who does that to a kid?
Dude… this is not someone you want to waste any more of your time with. The fact she didn’t even volunteer to let your daughter have the window seat never mind refuse to give it up? HUGE 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Sounds like you need to leave the ex girlfriend’s ass on the ground to me.
Talk to her about it. Best case scenario you find out she was just embarrassed to admit she’s a nervous flyer and needs the window (like me). Worst case you now have an important data point to use when making decisions about the future of the relationship
Has she given a reason? Does she get air sick and having a window helps remedy that? Is it an anxiety thing? I see a lot of people jumping on the band wagon of the gf is the asshole but surely there would be and should be a reason behind this?
Discuss that with her, if it’s a reasonable explanation as to why she needs the window seat, discuss the two rows idea, if she blows up over that, THEN you know the kind of person you are dealing with here and can take the measures needed to protect yourself and your daughter.
INFO: It’s hard to judge without knowing why she won’t give up her seat (?) Also, is she open to a compromise? Ex: Your daughter sitting in the seat only for take off and landing and then they trade?
I’d ask her if it’s an anxiety thing and possibly book 2 seat in front or behind or in the same isle over. For like claustrophobia reasons I have to have an aisle seat, I won’t give it up either.
Hard to tell, need more information. Does she get bad anxiety/fear from flying where the window seat is the only thing that calms her down? If so then I can understand her, I would ask her something along those lines to figure that out. But, if she’s just being a brat and refusing to give up a window seat because she “always” has the window seat then she’s the one at fault for sure and you’re NTA.
Dude. Your gf is telling you how well suited she is to be a stepparent… She is making it crystal clear that she is first and your priorities need to reflect that. Are you certain she is a good match? Are you okay with your daughter being pushed aside like this? YWBTA if you allow this woman to treat your child this way.
you’ve been with your GF for almost a year and are just finding out what she really thinks of your daughter????????
Red flag. Yes, your GF is being shitty, giving you a view into who she is and how she doesn’t consider your daughter…..so you may want to rethink the GF. Your daughter is your treasure for life.
That flight will be the prelude of how shitty it will get. Don’t bother with a person who will not put your daughter first.
Kid gets window seat there and girlfriend has it on way back. Simple. If girlfriend won’t agree to that, she’s only fling material.
I mean this could be a red flag or not. I remember my step father wouldn’t let me use his gloves when I was cold when I was first meeting him. He was such a great stepfather to me. Some people just have oddities. Not saying he was perfect but definitely a great stepfather to me.
book two diff rows so both girls can have window seats. your gf may get anxious or sick and needs window seat
Can she give her the window seat for take off landing? As an adult I hate the middle seat but I’m 100% for letting a child switch seats with me for 20 min. Or take the aisle and you take the middle.
Keep the kid loose the gf
Not enough info, WHY does she want the window seat? I’ve known/heard of people who need it for reasons of claustrophobia, or that it helps with nausea. Is your daughter getting a window seat more important than GF not having a panic attack?
Info ages? Also what are you asking if you are TAH about ?
How did the conversation go really? I mean I get that she also wants the window, that’s valid. There’s no reason you can’t be in different rows. I did that when traveling with girlfriends. We all want the window so so we book separate rows. But is she insisting that you all sit in the same row but she gets the window?
Book your gf her own window seat alone, away from you and your daughter. Like, really? How bout you go with just your kid. Her refusal here speaks volumes.
Book another row, but let the gf know. Nothing would be worse than having a pouty gf trying to ruin your vacation time.
Also, don’t do this – I accidently booked a window seat for my child’s first flight over the wing. She couldn’t see a thing, and the noises from the wing scared her to death!
NTA. Book separate seats so she can have the window and so can your daughter. As a mum, I get that adults shouldn’t have to give up everything for kids, but I do think this is a bit shitty. Like, this is something pretty big and special for your daughter.
Book separate rows and realize she will never accommodate your child. This is what having her for a stepparent will be like for your child.
I usually hate when everyone goes “dump her” over something minor but your girlfriend wants the window because she “always” has the window and “likes to look out”… You’re a single dad, you have a kid to worry about, and she’s not willing to prioritise your kid this one time when she always gets the window.
Is there a trend with your girlfriend wanting to get her way all the time? Does she typically prioritise herself over others to the point that she has a negative effect on people around her?
I get anxious on planes and feel better for having the window seat. I have let kids I have never met have my window seat because they are kids and I want them to enjoy the flight, and I can turn my head and look out of the window over them at any time.
NTA and not going to tell you to dump her, but I would have a think as to whether this is an exception or the norm.
I’d be reevaluating the relationship as well. I also prefer the window seat but every single time we’ve flown since having kids, one of the kids gets the window and that’s probably how it’s always going to be now. She’s selfish and it’s really weird. Not someone I’d want to be with as a parent.
Dump the girlfriend
Is your gf also a child? She acts like one.
Red flag. Break up with her. You have one child. You don’t need two.
Your girlfriend is a selfish piece of work. I feel sorry for your daughter. Don’t be surprised when your daughter stays acting out.
Dump the girlfriend and concentrate on being the best dad you can be.
How old is your girlfriend. This seems kinda childish
NTA
Maybe you should only book 2 seats.
I would give up the window sit for a random kid… let alone a kid I cared about and knew!
I don’t know why gf is being so selfish. She may get motion sickness. For some people looking out the window helps. IDK why. Book two separate rows. Don’t let your daughter miss out. It’s any easy fix. If she gets mad and can’t understand that you want this experience for your daughter then cancel your gf’s ticket. Make sure you get insurance on the ticket in case you have to get it refunded.
Your girlfriend appears to be more of a child than your child.
I’d find a new girlfriend. Who acts like that?
Definitely 2 rows and if your girlfriend complains too bad. She’s selfish.
Such a small gesture on her part would be something you should automatically do on a friend level, much less gf level. If she can’t do even that, she is too selfish to step parent and shouldn’t be in your life. You and your daughter should go without her and she should be gone when you get back.
NTA. Just book a different row.
Just say she is a Boeing whistleblower. That should solve all your problems with your flight.
Honestly she’s letting you know right now that she will not put your daughter first in anything, if she’s too selfish to let a five-year-old enjoy the view on a plane how can you expect her to make any kind of sacrifices as a stepmother?
She’s not the one.
This is a power move on her part. Break up with her.
How old is your girlfriend, can I ask?
Any adult in your party not thinking kids have first dibs on seats is pretty unusual behaviour that goes against social norms.
It could be a sign that your partner isn’t that into being a step parent figure.
Wow 😯 so for the next however many years your girlfriend will be putting her needs above your daughters? What if you plan a night out and your daughter is ill? How much custody do you currently have and is the girlfriend currently involved in any caring for your daughter?
It’s giving ‘evil / entitled stepmom’ vibes.
Do me a favour – before you go any further with this woman. Tell her that you have agreed with your ex that you will be taking full custody if anything were to happen to your daughters mother. I’d be intrigued to know her responce.
Separate seating ,separate planes and separate destinations….and why couldn’t she switch seats for a short period of time….sounds like there’s a bad moon on the rising
Book seats for you & your daughter to share this experience. We are all concerned for your 5 yo being unappreciated by this person.
Ok so are you going to keep prioritizing your gf? Because she’s gonna keep expecting it.
Two rows I would make sure they’re couple apart tho
You’ve been together a year and you never noticed that she was self-absorbed and entitled?
Just dump her and have a great trip with your daughter.
Book 2 premium seats for you and your daughter and Econ widow for your GF.
Updateme
Why? Some people have anxiety or motion sickness on planes that have them trying to stick to certain rituals like picking a certain seat, etc. Those would be valid reasons she might prefer a window seat. But she might just be selfish and rude, and that might be reasons to rethink this trip entirely. If this someone you have a serious enough relationship with to travel internationally with a young kid, have a discussion. I wouldn’t just book her across the plane to be petty without a discussion.
You and daughter: first class and her at the window. Girlfriend: back in steerage class, preferably on a different plane going whatever is the opposite direction. Only one daughter, plenty of potential girlfriends out there.
I’ll bet if you look carefully, you’ll find lots of other examples of poorly this selfish woman treats your daughter, and frankly, your daughter is the important person in your life. The solution is easy, book two tickets and enjoy the trip with your daughter, make her feel special, put your energy into a relationship with her.
Dump your girlfriend and have a nice time with your kid! She’ll never forget this trip!
She’s being incredibly selfish and childish.
I’d give up my window seat on a plane for a child I had never met, never mind my partners kid.
Book yours and your child’s seat separate to hers, and far away from each other. Enjoy that experience with your child and let her sit alone.
Is this a common theme with her? How is her relationship with your child in general? I’d be watching very closely if I were you.
Sacrifice is number 1 with children . I would see this as a statement as what is to come in the future.
Opposite planes in opposite directions is correct
Who’s 5 years old..your gf?
Read sarcasm.
My initial, knee jerk thought was N-TA your girlfriend sounds horrible as most of the comments seem to be saying, then I though about your alternative and..yeah? Nobody’s hurt by booking seats in two separate rows so each can have a window seat, I don’t see the big deal and NAH
She is selfish, your girlfriend
I’m a stepmother to a 9 years old girl. Your gf is so weird and selfish lol
Book yourself and your child in Premium Economy and your girlfriend alone at the window in Economy
Getting married is THE most important decision of your life. Don’t tread lightly on it. This should be a red flag to you. It’s just a small snapshot of what’s in store. She’s not going to be the kind of person who gives in or compromises.
So you met someone while having a daughter and they let you know they don’t plan on having kids don’t want the responsibility that ties her to kids but you still continued the relationship?? Smart real smart
5year old should have book the wi dow seat plan and simple. You should not book gf a ticket.
If gf is not able to take a somewhat mother role what the fuck are you doing. It’s not gf time to be a princess broski
I’d be direct as hell, and ask her; so you cool sitting alone cause I’m booking another seat for me and my kiddo with a window seat?
I also wouldn’t date a Woman who is that petty unless she has some damn good reason for needing a window seat (aerophobia etc.).
She is going to make me choose between her being by the window, and my kiddo’s first flight without a reason; no fucking contest there. I’d be upset she even made me choose. Now my kids second flight, they can sit in the middle cause they’re small lol.
An adult partner who is either that needy, or petty just sounds like too much for me. Don’t get me wrong, It’s fine for people to be that way if it makes them happy; I just know myself well, and I don’t have time for that. I need someone with at least a sliver of empathy, charity, and kindness inside as a partner.
NTA. Dump her and book two seats for you and your daughter.
Book two separate flights.
OP, I hope you’re listening to those expressing concern over the future of this relationship. GF is a walking 🚩with her stance. YWBTA if you don’t get your daughter a window seat for her first airplane flight.
Move on, OP. This woman has no concept of what it means to love or care for a child.
Both
This shows how your girlfriend doesn’t see your daughter as someone valuable to her. It’s a seat I would happily give up a seat for a child that’s never experienced it and would love it. Get yourself a girlfriend who will love your daughter like her own.
girlfriend is definitely the asshole. it *might* be different if it wasn’t the child’s first flight, but come on she’s a little girl and it’s her first one!
Break up with her and just take your daughter. Why is your gf behaving like a CHILD
If you have to ask more than once, that’s too many times to ask.
You mean exgf right?
She is not willing to put your child before herself. If you put your child first then break up with this person.
Boy, I seriously hope you are not planning a future with this person (marriage, children, etc…). Your GF is already demonstrating the value of YOUR child in her life. Get away before she starts giving your daughter the Cinderella treatment. Her children will take priority with the home, finances, gifts, schools, etc… get out now. You have learned before a big even just how much she cares.
I can’t help but think you’re trying to find a problem when there might not be one? I also have to have a window, especially for an international flight, I like to sleep and I get motion sickness. My kid loves to look out the window. Dad and kid always have one row, I sit by myself in another. It’s a non issue and how is this a red flag from gf? Must you have your whole family sit together?
Just to give a different perspective. I have a friend who is very claustrophobic. The only way she can fly without a panic attack is if she has the window seat. It makes the plane feel not so confining when she can look outside. I’d book the girlfriend in a window seat on a different row and sit with your daughter.
Who is paying for GF’s ticket? If it’s you then she shouldn’t be allowed to decide. Book a different row for her. Any othe🚩🚩🚩 ?
Get two separate rows for you both. Then when you get back leave
INFO: did your gf gave any specific reason?
Booking separate rows should be ok (if she’s not ok with that, I’d reconsider the relationship) Or if you go on the aame row your gf ahpuld.be.ok with uour daughter cknatantly hanging over her.
Daughter comes first.
Flying with a child can be challenging. Flying with two, especially when one is an overgrown, selfish snot, is miserable.
Two rows.
NTA
she’s just shown you that she prioritizes herself over your daughter. are you really going to let your daughter grow up feeling like a third wheel in your family? dump her selfish ass and enjoy a trip with your daughter.
Ok I never want kids and partner had grown son but now 6 grandkids I often watched the older 2 girls before rest kept cominh and health just couldn’t I still wouldn’t treat them like this. I love the aisle id hate to give it up its even brought on anxiety but id still offer to pay so they could have in different row or across etc if came to it or give up if really wasn’t option please think how this woman is with your child especially if your not around even if just a minute where she says something horrible to her you could lose your daughter
Why do you need a girlfriend who has zero regard for your daughter? Do better.
Yes and dump her.
She is not willing to experience of sharing the little girls excitement of a first flight. You should just fly together and leave the GF at home.
Gf of a year already trying to mark her territory and force you to pick her over your kid. She’s not the one
I always sit in a window seat.
Unless I’m flying with my son.
Because I’m an adult and he’s a child.
Op, you should dump your entitled girlfriend before it gets any more embarrassing.
1 row. Your former GF can stay home.
Book separate rows.
Yes book you and your daughter a seat on a different row other side of the plane. I wouldn’t even mention it to her either then when yall board she can figure it out.
Book the flight with daughter and enjoy with your ex-girlfriend back on land. Your GF has shown you who she is and your father, she should be your ex-girlfriend. Stop thinking about 🍆 and put your daughter first. This woman would not be around my kid after they said that to me. I be like no worries it will just be us to going tell her she can pack up and hit the road.
Yeah, this is pretty rude and selfish of her . It’s hard to justify not switching seats for your daughter.
Pretty shitty on her part I’d maybe just book the holiday for you and your daughter if your gf is being like this before you’ve even got in the plane she will likely make other situations about her as well and put the holiday on a bit of a downer.
Your girlfriend isn’t stepmom-material. Do you really want her in your life as a parent-figure to your daughter? She will never put your daughter first.
It’s not like your daughter would’ve stayed there the whole time. Your gf needs to be updated with a new gf
Dude, can you not see that this is literally a window into your future with this GF??? RUN
I sort of get it. Unless OP is offering to sit in the middle why should GF get stuck there for what sounds like a long flight
GF lets kid sit at the window for take off and landing when there is generally something interesting to see. Nowadays if you leave your shade open during the flight the people around you including the FA have a fit. The sun is such a distraction I guess. If the flight is at night-nothing to see anyway. GF gets the window during the flight so she can sleep/do whatever
OP books a separate row where kid gets the window. Again if OP gets aisle and kid window unless it is a 2-3-2 then some random person gets stuck between a 5 year old and dad. That could be an AH move if the kid is rambunctious.
Book a separate window and middle seat for you and your daughter.
If your gf was a decent human being and cared about your daughter she’d let her have the window seat. She’s pretty shitty and mean.
ETA: don’t think she’s step mum material. Wonder how often she does/will do stuff like this?
I wouldn’t give up a window on a long flight either. Who paid for the seats tho?
She thinks she’s above your daughter, that’s a red flag. If you want to solve this issue, you can sit over two rows. But it’s not going to end with this issue. NTA.