My girlfriend refuses to pay for anything

r/

27M and 26F. We’re in a long distance relationship and I’ve made a couple of trips to see her. When I come and visit she’s adamant on me paying for everything… (dinners, travel, coffee, movies). She’s stated that splitting 50/50 is cringe and then if I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together. Every trip has been $1000+ dollars by the way. I don’t know, I’m not the richest man around. Salary is like $65k. What should I do? I love her and being with her but it doesn’t seem right that she can just go about it like this. I’ve brought it up before and she’s very dismissive about it.

Comments

  1. Junior-Towel-202 Avatar

    You leave and find an equal partner. 

  2. AgitatedLibrary634 Avatar

            TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.                 TELL HER GOODBYE KISS MY WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT SEE YOU LATER ALLIGATOR YOU’RE BETTER OFF FINDING SOMEBODY ELSE DOWN THE ROAD

  3. One_Shallot_4974 Avatar

    trad relationships are trading financial equity for physical and emotional labor. Is she holding up her end of that equation in equal investment?

  4. One-Yard9754 Avatar

    Grow and pair and walk away, she’s taking advantage of you. There’s nothing more pathetic than a guy who’s a doormat to their partner, you’re setting a foundation in the relationship where one person has more power over the other and that’s not healthy.

  5. EddieRyanDC Avatar

    You need to add a new word to your vocabulary. “No.”

    You are paying because you are agreeing to pay. You can’t change her, but you can change yourself.

  6. jeffcgroves Avatar

    > if I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together

    That’s sort of the definition of prostitution

    I support prostitution, but, unless it’s what you’re looking for in a relationship, get out.

  7. OrbitingRobot Avatar

    You’re paying for sex. Be honest about it. If you paid $1000 and didn’t get sex would you still be traveling to see her? Find a better GF near where you live.

  8. xoxkxox Avatar

    Nope. If you’re not happy with this, drop her. She’s looking at someone to replace her mommy/daddy’s money.

  9. SolarPoweredToad Avatar

    You’re dating a prostitute.

  10. MommaLlama24 Avatar

    Unfortunately there are some “women” that were raised to belief they have to be completely taken care of by a man.
    As a woman myself, find an equal and understanding partner.
    You shouldn’t have to pay EVERYTHING.
    It’s 2025, it’s not “cringe” for a woman to pay here and there.
    When my husband and I first got together, it was EQUAL. I payed bills, and he paid for everything while we were out, (dinners, drinks, etc.), but he’s also very old school and believes a woman shouldn’t pay for material things. 🙄

    So if you love her, and you want to support that habit, find a better paying job.
    Or leave and find an independent woman that doesn’t just want to be taken care of by a man.

  11. Puck_The_Fey98 Avatar

    My bf is coming to see me in person. I’m gonna feed him and since it’s his bday pay for his activities that we are doing while he’s here. Being a partner is being equal. Unless either person wants to pay for everything neither should

  12. BroccoliNormal5739 Avatar

    Run

    Run fast. Run far.

    This person is not interested in a relationship of equals, but rather is looking for an ATM.

    You can do better.

  13. Better-Employ-4495 Avatar

    You’re being used.  You need to move on my man $1000 a time isn’t worth getting you D wet for.

  14. Far-Studio-6181 Avatar

    >She’s stated that splitting 50/50 is cringe and then if I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together.

    What’s there to do? You know what she’s like. This is part of who she is. If you don’t like it then move on.

    I’m 20 years into a fantastic marriage and my wife is nothing like this. She’s a 50/50 partner down the line (we share a joint account and don’t monitor how much we take out of it by individual). It would be hard for me to even be attracted to a woman like your girlfriend let alone be in a relationship with her.

    But life is a rich tapestry, so maybe you can hang. I wouldn’t though.

  15. Suitable_Balance101 Avatar

    Why is she not your ex gf?

  16. Particular-Cow6954 Avatar

    Leave the gold digger 

  17. Presidentialpork Avatar

    Dump her broke ass wtf 😂

  18. slacksandwine Avatar

    You’re just a piggy bank to her. Find someone who respects you, or else you’ll come to regret wasting so much time and an arm and leg.

  19. Star-Wars-Mando Avatar

    I am a woman in a committed relationship and let me just say: her mindset is not love, it is entitlement. Relationships are about partnership, not performance. If someone thinks money = love, they don’t understand the foundation of a real, lasting connection.

    You are already spending over $1K to see her, and she is calling splitting cringe? That is tone-deaf and disrespectful. You are being generous, and she is acting like that’s the bare minimum just to be worthy of her attention? Red flags everywhere.

    Love doesn’t look like “pay for me or get lost”. Love looks like: “How can we build together?”
    If she isn’t willing to budge or even hear your concerns, I would seriously reevaluate if this is someone who sees you as a partner – or as a wallet.

    Repsect is a two-way street. You deserve to be valued, not just financially drained.

  20. Voiceofreason8787 Avatar

    Lol, would she travel to visit you? I think we know the answer here.

  21. Iluvaic Avatar

    Sounds like you an irreconcilable difference.

  22. BlueyIsAwesome Avatar

    She dismisses you. Wash your hands of her and find an equal partner

  23. ComprehensiveMonk618 Avatar

    She has a life style that she is expecting. This is just the tip of the iceberg. If you are not going to be tripling your salary soon, you two won’t work out based on the information provided.

    Your only chance is to tell her and be firm, that next time you come you need her to pick up 50% or you can’t afford to see her. It’s ok to be vulnerable in this way. She will either get over herself or get over you.

  24. ThrowawayLyingInBed Avatar

    That’s not love, that’s a walking ATM subscription. It’s one thing to treat your partner sometimes, but calling 50/50 “cringe” and saying you can’t afford her? That’s a huge red flag. Relationships should be built on respect and fairness, not financial ultimatums. You deserve someone who values you not just your wallet.

  25. Critical_Dare_2066 Avatar

    My girl has been paying equally since our first hangout. If she finds something too expensive she suggests going to a different place so that she can also pay equally since

  26. Big_Bet6107 Avatar

    What should you do? Find an actual partner not a financial leech. “Splitting 50/50 is cringe?” who fucking says that. You know why you are paying for everything? because you are one of many boyfriends she currently has and this is her grift. She has multiple men taking care of her. HeEr pussy isnt that great, you can do better.

  27. walkawaysux Avatar

    Realize that she will get worse and worse as time goes by and you are just a way to get free stuff

  28. aircowder67 Avatar
  29. CdmanKhaos Avatar

    break up immediately shes a gold-digger if your partner isnt 50/50 its not gonna end well

  30. Competitive-Cod4123 Avatar

    I have absolutely no idea why you stay with her. It’s obvious she’s not an equal partner and doesn’t plan on contributing financially to anything.. you need to absolutely put your foot down with her. Let her know that she needs to start chipping in or you’re done.

  31. Stinkinhippy Avatar

    Don’t like the guys political views, but i’m pretty sure Kanye wrote a song about this girl.

  32. SockMaster9273 Avatar

    Leave her and find a partner who will treat you right. I know in a relationship, not everything is going to be 50/50 but there should be some attempt. She should also visit you. She should also save and buy dinner at least once while you are there.

    “If you cant afford me, you can’t be with me” she is either a gold digger or a prostitute. You pick which one works better.

  33. wayneme Avatar

    It’s only going to get worse and more demanding cut your losses move on she doesn’t care about anyone but her self my guess there’s better out there

  34. BitterStop3242 Avatar

    Is your love reciprocated?

  35. Equivalent-Strike-49 Avatar

    She is using you, get rid of her

  36. SolaraOne Avatar

    She is a gold digger, pure and simple. She is taking financial advantage of you.

  37. DanTheSkier Avatar

    Make it clear you’re no longer going to do that and you aren’t dating her for the sake of supporting her lifestyle.

    Also, if she treats you like this in a LDR she probs has her eyes on other dudes.

  38. Smittie65 Avatar

    What’s she doing when you’re not in town? Someone else “affording” her?

  39. CatCharacter848 Avatar

    She’s literally told you she expects you to pay for everything. If this is not what you want, split up. Otherwise this is your future.

  40. Aessioml Avatar

    Leave find an adult to share your life with not some entitled Child.

    Relationships the good ones are difficult and starting from an equal point tends to make them work

  41. Trvekingofstjames Avatar

    You’re a free ride not a bf. Ditch her

  42. GroundbreakingAd5060 Avatar

    Dude there’s way better girls out there. Please leave this chick. It’s not normal.

  43. BigMike10Inch Avatar

    It’s time to find someone closer to home who’s not selfish!

  44. VitaBoy11 Avatar

    [ Removed by Reddit ]

  45. Soggy-Constant5932 Avatar

    Dump her and find you someone who doesn’t mind doing things for her man. I’m married and still buy my husband gifts and plan surprises. Even when we dated I did. She sounds either shallow or someone in her family told her that’s how it should be.

  46. Odd_Bluejay_7574 Avatar
  47. gidgetcocoa2 Avatar

    She dismissive be size and knows you don’t have a back bone. Leave her.

  48. Adorable_Arm2530 Avatar

    Describing fair and equal financial obligations as cringe is the biggest red flag to ever flag.

    Some might even call it cringe.

    You are not obligated to pay more than half. If you want to for certain occasions like birthdays or anniversaries or whatever, that’s fine.

    But demanding that you pay 100% of everything is unacceptable in any relationship. If she wants someone to sponsor her lifestyle, she can go find that and live in the toxic relationship that will undeniably foster.

    But you deserve better.

  49. Shadyhollowfarm58 Avatar

    She’s shown you that she expects you to pay everything and won’t entertain any other option. Dismissive behavior is a stonewalling and power move and a terrible trait in a potential life partner. 

    Here’s your sign. Find a GF who is emotionally healthy and doesn’t treat you this way.

  50. MediocreMaddy Avatar

    If she’s long distance she can’t be a traditional spouse to you. Not worth it for you. Sincerely, a woman whose man pays up most expense because I take care of him daily.

  51. Purple_Geologist_565 Avatar

    Can you find a cheaper hooker closer to home?

  52. ZestSimple Avatar

    I’m a woman and I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend – he lives in NYC and makes around $30k more than I do.

    He visits me more than I visit him because he can afford too, but generally speaking we both pay for our own travel – the plane, transportation to/from airport, and pet sitters.

    Once we’re together, we just take turns paying for things. I don’t think we need to split everything 50/50 and neither of us is keeping track. I think he probably does pay for more things than I do, but he does make more money than I do. I still try to offer to pay when I can, the only time I don’t offer to pay is in my birthday.

    All this to say, your gf is being immature and not fair. It’s 2025, she can offer to pay for some stuff.

  53. mayhembang Avatar

    Why haven’t you left yet? When someone says splitting 50/50 is cringe, it is time to RUUUUUNNNNNNNN !!!!!!!

  54. Pod_of_Blunders Avatar

    Do you want an actual partner or do you want a burden?

  55. Individualchaotin Avatar

    You are not in a real relationship, you are a sugar daddy.

  56. Salty-Factor1398 Avatar

    Sounds like she’s in it for a free ride and knows that u can afford it.

  57. Born-Direction3937 Avatar

    Imagine the expectation after you marry her ? Yeah move on now

  58. ADisposableRedShirt Avatar

    You can’t afford this. Find someone local to Netflix and chill with. I started off with a very modest salary, but with a woman (who also had a modest salary) that understood the situation. We have been married 36 years and very wealthy now. When we were dating it was Domino’s pizza and Blockbuster rentals and chill (Yes. I’m OAF now). Raised two successful children and retired early. Living the good life now because we focused on career and saved our money.

  59. Diligent-Till-8832 Avatar

    Yeah, shes taking advantage and giving you an insight into who she truly is.

    Relationships are about making compromises and she’s not making any.

  60. Specialist_Royal4686 Avatar

    This situation only gets worse and $1,000 becomes $10,000 a month with a house, cars, kids, then vacation. The decision for one earner occurs when you have kids and you both decide she will stay home to raise kids full time. Until then its a sharing arrangement on everything. Otherwise, you are being used… Time to move on and stop being blinded by early love

  61. CyberHumanAdult Avatar

    She’s not your girlfriend, she’s treating you like an only fans subscriber whose only role is to give her money and “treat her”.

    Time to upgrade my dude.

  62. parker3309 Avatar

    You can’t be serious. That’s no kind of partner. So the minute you lose your job or something happens she’s out of there. Way to pick ‘em.

  63. mbo2025 Avatar

    Sometimes the worse thing you can do is love someone…

  64. LyannasLament Avatar

    I feel like people who love you and who treat you like an equal listen to you with compassion when you talk about subjects that are deeply upsetting to you. Just saying.

  65. mdthomas Avatar

    You don’t have a gf, you have a sugar baby. Leave her your wallet will thank you.

  66. 7_inch_girth Avatar

    She is not your girlfriend. She is basically just a prostitute, getting paid for being with you.

  67. LetMaleficent5300 Avatar

    Leave her, she is just using you.
    I am putting my money on she has a different boyfriend while you aren’t in town.

  68. WordsFindMe Avatar

    You should tell her that you do not feel special by always being the one to pay. That the feeling of being ‘treated’ is not a gendered emotion. It is about respect and love. I have ALWAYS gone 50/50 on everything in my relationship because it allows both parties to show gratitude and to be-thanked. I love being thanked for treating my husband to a nice meal or a little gift–and vice versa, I love when he spoils me. Its about mutual appreciation.

    If all else fails then you need to decide if you are fine being the ‘treater’ and never being treated. Otherwise find someone who knows its not 1953.

  69. SpecialProfession237 Avatar

    Take this to its logical end. What happens when you inevitably cannot afford her?

    What happens when her tastes truly get expensive? Something magically expensive happens to women (and men) in their 30s. Your tastes grow up and get more expensive. Even if you get balanced and less material, you have less patience of cheap substitutes and want the more expensive version of whatever you buy.

    Or what happens if you get sick or injured? Even temporarily? And can’t pay the bills?

    What happens when you have kids? A materialistic woman is nothing compared to a materialistic mother.

    Or, what happens when you are no longer long distance and you see her every day??!?

    Deal with this now or you will find yourself in your 40s with a heart condition cause you’re terrified you won’t be able to retire despite all the time you spend making money.

    Yours truly
    — someone in my 40s with a heart condition cause I’m terrified I won’t be able to retire despite all the time I spend making money.

  70. Ok-Opportunity-8457 Avatar

    My dude, you’ve got a hook in your mouth.

  71. biggieiggie69 Avatar

    i’m in a sort of long distance relationship with a guy, my car is out of commission and he’s been generous enough to make the trips to see me and i always offer to split or pay on our dates. i feel terrible for him having to spend a shit ton on gas just to come to my area. leave her ass and find someone who will treat you as an equal and not as a wallet.

  72. shounensensei56 Avatar

    Literally every girl I’ve ever dated pays for things just because they want to and don’t want me to feel like I’m forced to. She a ho bro

  73. nordicman21 Avatar

    If you can’t afford her?! Time to let her go.

  74. Technical-Oil-9806 Avatar

    Omg. That’s a very cringe thing for her to say. That is completely unfair on you. 

  75. KrisWJ Avatar

    Lol leave her dude. She’s for sure using someone else’s money when you’re gone. She’s cheap and you deserve way better.

  76. PewKey1 Avatar

    Find someone worthy of you brother this is horseshit

  77. Catdaddy33 Avatar

    Dump her, she’s using you.

  78. dickpierce69 Avatar

    She doesn’t want a partner, she wants a daddy.

    Go find your partner and let her find a daddy. This will not work long term. You’re incompatible and just wasting your money.

  79. Jeepontrippin Avatar

    This is probably a cultural issue. You may not be compatible it’s really two different ways of thinking one’s very traditional and the other one. Well it’s more about the modern world. If you disagree on this you probably disagree on a lot of other things you’re not aware of yet. Good luck I hope that things work out for you.

  80. aea403yyc Avatar

    Major red flags, dude. I know you said you love her but you need to muster up the courage to break it off. It’ll hurt at first but you’ll be much happier in the long run.

  81. grungyraccoonx Avatar

    hii that’s manipulation <3

  82. bored36090 Avatar

    This is a prelude of things to come, if you’re not happy now, it only gets worse.

  83. Boomer_Dook Avatar

    Paying to be in an LDR is a weak move. Please, stop doing this. You can demand more from life.

  84. captainchippsixx Avatar

    Drop her man. She is a user. LTR are bullshit. She is being dismissive because you’re nice. Stop being nice.

    If you can’t ghost her….. (which is what you should do) , lay down the law. Say if she wants to see you she can visit you. If she says no. Then end it.
    Then block her and move on with your life.

  85. RichPhone6390 Avatar

    Home girl definitely has sugar daddies.

  86. Emergency-Buddy-8582 Avatar

    Girls seek a protector and provider. It is evolutionary.

  87. BadTiger85 Avatar

    She doesn’t respect you or believe in gender equality. Dump her and find a partner that respects you

  88. man_eating_mt_rat Avatar

    So you fly out to see her, which is wear and tear on her apartment. She also has to clean it before you get there and clean it after you leave. She is giving you a place to stay, which saves you both money.

    When I was young, I thought everything should be split 50/50 but as I get older … I dunno, she has a point. Does she make as much as you? If not, and if you’re having fun spending time with her, then pay for that enjoyment. Men need to show they can be stable in a relationship and honestly the best way to do that is to pay for everything (within reason). And tbh $1k isn’t much nowadays.

    Is she asking for unreasonably expensive dinners/entertainment?

  89. No_Report_4781 Avatar

    Ask her dad how he dealt with it

  90. Timely-Profile1865 Avatar

    There are TONS of single gals out there at any given time.

    Get out of the ‘scarcity mindset’ and go find a girl where you live that is not a leech.

    Tell her things are not working out, wish her the best of luck and put her in the rear view mirror for your own happiness and wallet.

  91. ApartmentMaterial950 Avatar

    Sounds like she is with you for your money! I would find some one that loves you for you.

  92. nettenette1 Avatar

    Congratulations! You have a dependent. Can’t claim her on your taxes but you’re well on your way for all of your free spending money and then some to go to her.

    Get out now. My partner’s son just learned this very hard lesson and when she found someone else to support her, he got to pay a $3k lease break fee. So make sure any money you’re not spending on her goes into a fund to cover larger expenses for her in the future because this isn’t going to get better.

  93. kojinB84 Avatar

    My response to her if I were you would be “It’s cringe when someone thinks the other partner is expected to pay for the other partner’s way” and I’d walk away.

  94. Dependent_Interest87 Avatar

    She’s an entitled moocher. Some men like that. You don’t. Simple. Walk away and find someone more compatible with your values

  95. toronto1999 Avatar

    ask her why you don’t deserve to be taken out and treated. i kinda dealt with this and honestly, for women with this mindset, there’s no solution. most likely their parents have brainwashed her to believe these things. its 2025…not sure why gender roles like this still exist

  96. Mental-Border1099 Avatar

    Her idea of not being together seems like a bargain.

  97. AnaMyri Avatar

    Did she not make this clear from the beginning or were you hoping she’d catch feelings and change her tune?

  98. sadbudda Avatar

    Break up. 100% unless you want to fully fund her life in the future.

  99. hiben10 Avatar

    This seems almost like bait?

    “She’s stated that splitting 50/50 is cringe and then if I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together”

    ^ is this like… selective blindness because you’re getting pussy? I don’t understand. This is stupid. Move on

  100. PotRoastBoss Avatar

    Let her go if that’s not the arrangement you want. She can then pay 100% of everything.

  101. fuguesteight Avatar

    You’re being used homie. No money = No partner here unfortunately

  102. JapesNorth Avatar

    Tell her since she has no duty to provide money she must give you pleasure on demand because it’s very cringe if she doesnt

  103. FunGuyUK83 Avatar

    Find someone who respects you enough to split or even make an effort to split the costs with you.

  104. MindlessBee1236 Avatar

    Chill your Life Order a hooker Play some Video Games.

    Sorry i cant See you any time soon, Veronica was Here im broke now but i got that Post Nut clarity.

  105. Neat-Cold-3303 Avatar

    Honey, you need to pack up your feelings and your wallet, and run for the nearest exit! This girl is takin’ you for a ride, and I don’t mean one involvin’ your wanker! Drop her like you would a piece of toast with a roach on it!! You gettin’ my drift?

  106. Ok_whatever_130 Avatar

    This is why you break up. You are not compatible.

  107. Prisoner458369 Avatar

    So is the sex that great or do you just think of yourself as worthless and don’t deserve better?

    Hint no sex is worth what you are paying.

  108. Yande_Rei Avatar

    Equality is key. I had a partner years ago also in LDR. Unemployed and not actively looking for work. I got tired of being the only stable part of that relationship. If you have to ask “should I?”, you’re already at the point of leaving.

  109. marvinfuture Avatar

    This sounds like me when I was in my early 20s. You leave and find a partner that respects you and doesn’t see you as an ATM.

  110. pageunresponsive Avatar

    Oh, you should not have asked such a question. Doesn’t your instinct tell you to leave her?

  111. sallen779 Avatar

    >She’s stated that splitting 50/50 is cringe and then if I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together.

    This is nonsense. Dump her ASAP!

  112. EnvironmentalLuck515 Avatar

    You can’t find the right one as long as you are holding on to the wrong one. And this is definitely the wrong one.

  113. tcrhs Avatar

    She’s not the right one for you. Let her go.

  114. AardvarkBetter3266 Avatar

    Please have some self respect and leave her. Relationships are partnerships, and should always be near equal…

  115. TortelliniG Avatar

    She is a selfish person and I recommend leaving her

  116. Able-Lingonberry8914 Avatar

    Bro, you deserve better. Dump her and move on.

  117. Typical_Childhood716 Avatar

    Get rid of this freaky creature and find a decent girl with manners.

  118. JakiStow Avatar

    “If I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together.”

    She gave you the answer you’re looking for.

  119. Odd-Ostrich-5093 Avatar

    Buddy you need to leave her , I get tired of women demanding the world but the only thing they got to offer is some 🐱 and looking good

    News flash men want to be loved on too

    Splitting everything 50/50 isn’t even bad honestly just sounds like she doesn’t want to spend money on anything but her self there’s nothing wrong with that but if you’re in a relationship that selfishness goes away you’re in a relationship that you’re committed to what’s spending 40-60$ on a meal or even 150-200 on a date every now and then

    She can be the most beautiful woman in the world but if her personality is like this it ain’t worth it IMO

    Making you pay for everything is ridiculous especially since yall are long distance so she knows how expensive it can get in just travel alone let alone adding her to the all the dates which I’m sure aren’t the cheapest

    OP I would respectfully move on and find someone new

  120. thejonlife24 Avatar

    the fact that she’s never been the one to visit you says a lot..respectfully it’s not gonna get better and that behavior wouldn’t change if you move in

  121. A_Norse_Dude Avatar

    > She’s stated that splitting 50/50 is cringe and then if I can’t afford her then we shouldn’t be together.

    You’re not her partner, you’re her wallet/fun. Nothing more.

  122. DtForrest Avatar

    She set a boundary that she will not pay. Your options are exactly what she said, be okay with a partner that does not care about you and your financial situation or don’t be together. Take a minute and think about what she is asking for and what she cares about. Do you want a supportive partner or one that is gone the second she has drained you of everything you have to give and more?

  123. comeone90 Avatar

    She does not love you ,sorry but she is sort of selling her body to you

  124. -ManDudeBro- Avatar

    You don’t have a girlfriend you have a sugar baby… If you were broke it would be over.

  125. ComfortableFace5233 Avatar

    Leave her. Fuck that.

  126. cherrycocktail20 Avatar

    Some women have a very traditional mindset when it comes to the man paying for everything. Some men like taking the role of paying for everything. Those people need to date each other. If that’s not the type of relationship you want, then you break up with her and find someone with similar values about a more equal partnership and financial investment.

  127. Fresh-Research3450 Avatar

    There is a word for women like that, the ones you have to pay to be with and it’s not very nice, she said flat out that if you can’t afford her she’s leaving, does that sound like someone who loves you?

  128. chickenchoker84 Avatar

    Long distance relationship? I guarantee you you’re not the only one that’s paying for everything on her. Walk away and find someone better.

  129. Fit_Expression_7000 Avatar

    Leave run away from that dumpster fire 🔥 it will give you nothing but headaches and heartache talking from experience. Better to find a girl who is willing to contribute what they can and build them a girl that will constantly tearing you and your finances down

  130. Erokengo Avatar

    The “if you can’t afford her, you shouldn’t be together” shit is one of the biggest honking red flags ye could have. ESPECIALLY if yer not making that much. Like being a gentleman and covering shit here and there, sure. But even at my most hard up i don’t think I could take an ultimatum like that without bagging out.

  131. lexliller Avatar

    You’re not wrong to feel uncomfortable. Love should not come with a price tag, and a relationship should never feel transactional. If she is unwilling to even discuss financial compromise, that is not a difference in income or preference. It is a difference in values. You make sixty-five thousand dollars a year, and spending over a thousand dollars per visit is not sustainable. Her saying “if you cannot afford me, we should not be together” is not romantic. It is entitlement. If she sees splitting costs as cringe but expects you to carry all the burden, she is not looking for a partner. She is looking for a wallet. You have already brought this up and she dismissed it. That is your answer. You can love her and still walk away. You do not have to bankrupt yourself to prove you care.

  132. k_r_a_k_l_e Avatar

    You want a partner, not a dependent. This is a full-grown woman. She is not your child. You will never have a healthy relationship when one partner views the others’ resources as shared while restricting theirs selfishly to themselves. That’s an undeveloped mindset.

    There’s no fixing this. You need to find someone who either believes in financial contribution or is completely fine with traditional stereotypical roles, even in instances when it doesn’t benefit them.

  133. SomeTimeBeforeNever Avatar

    Your girlfriend is a pet you can’t afford.

  134. Humble_Mail_5823 Avatar

    Bye bye to this girl!! She clearly have no interest in starting a long term relationship with you. No need to waste your time.

  135. Sea_End9676 Avatar

    Do one more trip, fuck her a couple more times and then bail.  Get what you want and go.  If she wants to act like a prostitute use her like one

  136. reillan Avatar

    Some women have their opinions formed by people from 80 years ago who absolutely believed in the man paying for everything. It was more appropriate back then because men got paid so ridiculously much more. As pay gets closer to equitable, it becomes less appropriate.

    But some, especially in long distance relationships, use that cultural mindset as a way to pay for their lifestyle. They encourage multiple men to believe they’re in a relationship and get those men to pay for everything, and they can juggle them all because there’s relatively little time expenditure. They can even be texting simultaneously.

    Either way, you’re getting scammed.

  137. PaddlingInCircles Avatar

    Gold diggers are very common. Find a real partner.

  138. Chemical-Safe-6838 Avatar

    Leave. Immediately.

    I made a significant amount more than my partner while she studied through med school. She still went out of her way to pay for things. She’d do her best to cook or take us out for dates or even things like a nice picnic.

    You may love her but you’re not being treated lovingly in the current state of this relationship.

  139. Shepsdaddy Avatar

    She’s playing you. Move on without a word to see if she even calls. My money says nope.

  140. Coixe Avatar

    Sorry OP but this just sounds pathetic. Take her advice and leave the relationship. I can almost guarantee she won’t even care. Just like she doesn’t already.

  141. DragonKhan2000 Avatar

    “splitting 50/50 is cringe”
    Sorry to say, but there’s barely a redder flag than this.

  142. USABADBOY Avatar

    Brother, have some freaking self pride and dump that ho. Long distance relationships never work out also. I 110% assure you, she has at least one other dude in her lineup. Move on and don’t get hung up on “oh she’s so hot though” or crap like that.

  143. rndmcmmntr Avatar

    It sounds kind of like you might be dating a prostitute. Not calling her one, just saying the way you describe it makes her sound like one.

  144. elldaimo Avatar

    goodbye and see her never again

  145. Equivalent_Concept37 Avatar

    You dating a broke person

  146. Trex4444 Avatar

    She lacks the compassion needed to be in a relationship

  147. LordRevelstoke Avatar

    If you’re paying to travel to her; she should at least offer to pay for things when you’re there. She sounds awful frankly.

  148. rbburrows84 Avatar

    Ditch the bitch and wait for someone who wants to be a partner. This behavior isn’t going to improve.

  149. Broad-Anywhere-9224 Avatar

    I hope you get some sex for 1000$. Man, but you can buy sex for less.

    redflag !

  150. nismaniak Avatar

    Long distance partner with somebody like this means you probably aren’t the only man in her life. Time to bounce

  151. OkSeaworthiness1350 Avatar

    Babe, you’re not wealthy enough for her. I know she’s hot, but facts are facts.

  152. Morotstomten Avatar

    what would you do when someone is using you for your money?

  153. Mission-Tart-1731 Avatar

    She’s not worth it dude. No coot coot is that good. Going 50/50 is not cringe, she is. She wants wifey treatment, with a street chick attitude. 

  154. brianneisamuffin Avatar

    Leave her.
    I make more than my bf and we pay 50/50 75% of the time and like 25% of the time I straight up pay bc he’s not in a good financial place at the moment. Partnership isn’t 50/50 finances. It’s being considerate and kind and understanding. You can “pay” by doing other things like showing up emotionally, making plans, and generally taking on the mental load of life.
    This person doesn’t want a partner. They want a piggy bank.

  155. captainstormy Avatar

    Love alone isn’t enough. Loving someone is not a reason to let them take advantage of you or stay in a bad situation.

  156. Party_Effort6231 Avatar

    That’s disgusting. She does not respect you. Leave and use your time for better people who value you.

  157. Red_fiiire Avatar

    She’s taking advantage of you. Dump her and find one who will respect you as a partner.

  158. happyfershur Avatar

    There are actuallty decent women in the world, go find one! This isn’t it.

  159. Quuen2queenslevel3 Avatar

    She’s right!!!!! If you have a problem being used by self centered, entitled, child, you shouldn’t be together. I cant imagine what you love about this person. Im sure her selfish sense of entitlement comes out in other areas of her life. Run, don’t walk away. Even if at some point, she decided to start paying for some things, her attitude is indicative of the kind of person she is. And it’s inevitable that it will cause major issues down the road. Find yourself a real woman.

  160. CoolCatFriend Avatar

    I mean, do you make more than her? If so, it makes sense. 65k is a lot for your age group.

  161. Equal-Flatworm-378 Avatar

    Do the same the other way round: tell her, if she is not willing to pay half of the expenses she can look for another partner.

    Or tell her she will not have equal rights in the relationship, if she doesn’t want to have equal duties.

  162. damoC1988 Avatar

    Get rid she’s a freeloader mate. Tell her you can’t afford her anymore use them same words as she did.

  163. Reverend_Rosco Avatar

    Bounce my friend.  

  164. ShootersEvolution Avatar

    Find a girl that matches what you can and are willing to provide.

  165. Tardislass Avatar

    Dump her and save your money.

  166. Grashopr303 Avatar

    If she’s ‘got a price’, she’s not the one bud.

  167. Swarf_87 Avatar

    lol.

    Break up with her.

  168. Super-Log3709 Avatar

    Fuck her right off sounds like she’s the one that can’t afford her lifestyle

  169. CanZealousideal1802 Avatar

    This is terrible but also ur 27, this is just not something you need the internet’s advice for… We really normalize not exercising personal judgement too much

  170. FuriousColdMiracle Avatar

    The nicegirls sub is full of guys posting chats with women who have this attitude. It’s seems to be common. Might as well end it now, it’s not going to get any better.

  171. OptimalSympathy5661 Avatar

    You’re dating a leech.

  172. chase_road Avatar

    I had a long distance relationship with someone who was in a way better financial position but I made sure when he came to visit that I planned things in my budget, I would cook for him and plan beach days, things that were free. He would always bring me a bottle of wine, invite me out for dinners but I made sure to never make him feel like I was taking advantage. This sounds really unbalanced and unsustainable. What does she do for you to show you she appreciates you, your time and generosity?

  173. Ragnar-Wave9002 Avatar

    You’re not the richest but you’re the dumbest.

    She’s using you as a piggy bank. She’s getting free vacations at the expense of sex on occasion.