So we were chatting like usual at the daytime and she even complained how tired she was from work, but she barely text me after got off. When I asked if she was at home, she still didn’t reply yet. About half an hour later, she said she was home and had taken a shower already. I didn’t overthink bc I was out with my friend and we were heading on to a bar. I text with my gf on and off for about an hour, and then she said she was really tired and wanted to sleep. It was only around 9pm while she normally sleeps around 11 or 12. I thought she just had a rough day, so we said goodnight. Everything was find until I saw her in the bar with her friends together, guys and girls. Clearly, she lied to me. I was really mad at that time but I didn’t say anything and just left with my friend. I haven’t told her I saw her at that night yet, and my opinion of her has already changed. Should I just end things or talk to her about it?
My girlfriend said goodnight to me, but I met her at the bar.
r/Advice
Comments
That’s a major red flag.
hey that would hurt itss not even about her going out its that she lied. she couldve just said she was heading out with friends but instead she chose to say goodnight and pretend she was home. that’s the part that messes with your trust. Id say talk to her first be honest about what you saw and how it made you feel. her reaction will tell you a lot.
Talk to her about it while you end things
I might be overanalyzing – but you could end things and tell her why.
This seems indefensible to me anyway.
Yeah… talking, but making it short talk like:
” I Saw you at the bar, you lied BIG. Bye Forever ”
THE END
Did you take a picture of her, so she can’t gaslight you when you bring it up?
Anyway yeah, I’d give her a chance to tell the truth, and end things if anything she says doesn’t add up.
Sounds shady
Yup, move on .
[deleted]
End things. She’s trolling for new 🍆
That’s messed up.
You absolutely need to talk to her. Lying just to go out without telling you is a red flag, especially if it’s a pattern. You deserve honesty in a relationship, even if it’s something small.
Truth be told she probably lied bc she maybe has a thing for one of the guys or the guy does for her, why would she need to lie or be on and off with you all night? I don’t think it’s overthinking. she planned to do wrong and be shady with you, I mean maybe I’m wrong but the principal of a relationship is to be with someone you can trust and if she was going out to a bar she didn’t need to hide it, especially since yall are grown. I think you’ll always stay wondering if she’s actually telling the truth.
So immature.
Just end things. No point even discussing it.
Talk to her about it to see how she respond but definitely end things.
If she’s your girlfriend you probably like her and would like to stay with her but now she is just lying about going out where there’s no reason to. Those lies can become a lot worse over time and if you had something that ties you together like a house or rent or kids. It just makes things incredibly difficult.
You can find another girl to love. Something like this is problematic.
“I’m going to bed.”
*Seen in a bar hours later.
Bro… drop her immediately and hit the gym. Move on like it never happened.
She’s probably gonna gaslight you “Amy was sad so I woke up and went to the bar”
You should set her up…and ask something like did u sleep good? And see if she lies
I’m sorry bud, but if she’s lying to you this early in the relationship about something she had no reason to even lie about?? Might want to seriously consider moving on, had something like this happen to me, I tried the talking and working through it crap, only to find out a year later she was banging some other guys, and I wasn’t pissed at her so much as I was to myself for being a chump. If it’s like this now, I don’t want to imagine what the future holds for you . Good luck
End it
That’s a relationship ender
Walk away man. It’s not worth it trust me.
I dated someone like this once. Always home going to bed early, or had a headache and needed to crash out early. Would actually be shagging about. Took me a long time to get “proof”, just had lots of “hey, I saw your girl out last night” comments from pals. Lots of denial, lots of making out I was insecure/crazy, lots of emotional outbursts.
Confront her, discuss it, decide if it’s all worth it.
I stuck around for a looooonnnggg time. Don’t be like me.
She’s cheating on you or attempting to do so. She’s trash. Dump her but make sure you lay it out on her beforehand.
Did she have a reason for lying? If you’ve gotten angry with her for going out in the past it makes complete sense why she wouldn’t tell you.
I’m sorry that happened man. It’s over. You deserve better.
Should’ve confronted her then and there in front of her mates so she can’t lie
She lied like 20 times for one evening. She really set the lying stage, she laid groundwork, had preamble, did follow up. That was a major lie operation on something that seems pretty minor. Whether or not it was just an innocent night out with friends she for some reason felt she needed to hide, or she had other further plans, in both cases signs point to a compulsive, or at least habitual, liar.
End it, tell her nothing
Leave!
Man, I would have bought her a drink and had it sent over. Waved when she looked back and go radio silent because I love that shit.
break up with that 304 lil nga, she ain’t loyal to you.
Text, Impressive, you can go and sleep at a bar but its not what it looks like right.
Updateme
you should have made yourself seen as you were leaving with your friend just to see how she would have approached the situation😂but the fact that you’re even asking for advice about ending things just sounds like you already want to so imo just bounce🙏
Advice. I’d never speak to her again, except maybe tell her why I’m ending it. She lied to you. Can’t trust her. End of relationship.
OP, How long are you dating ?
did you know her girlfriends that she was hanging with. Should of watched from afar , to see her true intensions . Maybe Like her friend was trying to set her up . BIG RED FLAG.
updateme
Should’ve stayed a bit and seen how she was interacting with other people.
If it was just a group of friends with guys and girls & she was just out hanging with them it could’ve been a last minute thing where a friend nudges you to go out.
If she was interacting with a guy/guys in a flirting manner then you would’ve had a better stance on what the situation is.
Best thing to do now is keep an eye out for other red flags. Or end things if you guys aren’t super deep into a relationship (make sure you tell her why) Your call but speaking from experience….brace yourself for the worst because there’s no reason to lie the way she did.
She said goodnight to you because you are the daytime boyfriend. Her night was just about to start without you
Once a lair always lair
Or maybe it’s just that she wanted to spend some time with friends and didn’t want to tell you in case you invited yourself along? It doesn’t have to mean she’s looking for a new guy, she could just want some space, which people are entitled to.
Imagine if she can easily lie for such small things than why you believe she will not lie for big and important things
So fucked up…I’d confront her about it
Why did you not go and say Hi ?
Soon to be ex-gf (she will inform you hopefully).
Just ask her how the bar was the other night. See if she continues to lie.
She has zero respect for you.
You can’t have a relationship based on that fact.
It was just your turn little homie
DUMP, but call her out.