My gf is a staff accountant and has worked at her place of employment for 3 years. Currently working on her CPA license. There is a current CPA working there who is not a partner, who treats her terribly and is incredibly childish. For some context, twice she went into my girlfriend’s office while nobody else was in the office and chewed her ass for 15 minutes for being “spoiled, entitled, and terrible at her job”. Keep in mind, this lady is not her boss in any capacity. This was reported by my girlfriend to the partners and they made the decision to not terminate the employee, but did scold her both times. I’m clearly biased, but I don’t find any of the things she said to be true, and I know that the latter isn’t because her boss has sung her praises for her performance multiple times. She’s even gotten 5 raises since being there. And even if all of it were true, how shitty do you have to be to say that stuff to someone, when you literally just have to exist in the office next door to hers? They don’t even actually work with each other, just for the same company.
About a month ago, my girlfriend made an attempt to keep the peace and brought the office donuts for this lady’s birthday, and she told my girlfriend “it’s not my fucking birthday”. Turns out, she mixed up the dates and was a month early. Whoops. Just now, she found out that this specific person told the HR Partner that she doesn’t want her signing her birthday card and was left off the email communication for the celebratory lunch. Childish things like this on top of the verbal abuse is just unreal to me. It’s clear that she isn’t going to be fired. My girlfriend makes it a point to be the bigger person and be polite, but at what point should she just completely ignore this bitter lady’s existence?
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Man, that’s rough. I reckon your GF is killin’ it at her job and it’s just the other woman’s petty insecurities playing out. Tell her to keep her chin up, don’t feed into the drama, n’ stay professional. Sometimes the best revenge is just being darn good at what you do. And if it gets worse, seriously consider HR involvement or even job hunt, coz no one deserves toxic stuff like this at work. Life’s too short for that BS. Stay strong, bro. ✌️👊
uhhhh at this point. she found the point. it’s here. it’s been time to ignore for a while now
she needs to stop trying to be the bigger person? stop trying to “be nice” or sucking up. sounds like this person will find any and every way to be a huge cunt. so, here are some suggestions to supplement the ignoring things:
– leave them alone
– interrupt a rant to ask “oops I have XYZ coming up, can we reschedule this chat?” or “i’m sorry you feel that way” or even “hey, could you remind me why you’re in here? I’m unclear what this is about” or if you’re really ballsy “oh shit sorry I wasn’t listening. could you start again please?”
– laugh about being left out of a card signing and celebratory lunch for someone who is a piece of shit
– record every time this person enters her office. feel free to say ‘oh don’t mind me, i’m just going to record this conversation so I can refer back to it’
– alert HR for every incident so that it’s documented & being very objective and diplomatic about the descriptions and details.
like, let small ridiculous people stay small and ridiculous while also protecting yourself (see: recordings and detailed documentation of any harassment)
Once your girlfriend gets her CPA they’ll fire the problem employee and this person probably realizes this and us trying to make her leave first. Your GF should continue to report abuse but ignore the rest until she gets her CPA. Once she does if this ass hat is not fired, she can look for a new job, get another offer and then say to management why she plans to leave.
Has she mentioned this to her line manager?
The CPA is more valuable to the form than your gf. I agree it’s hard to work at a place like that. But your gf has 3 years exp and working on taking her cpa so all that is positive for your gf. The way to navigate this is send her resume to other CPA firms and have her interview. Every office has a different personality and she’s relatively new there and she has experience so it’s not unheard of to finding a new firm. It sucks but probably the best choice for her
She should have quietly told her to fuck off and walked away
There is only one thing to do. Document the interactions. Start a conversation with HR so they can also observe. She’s a liability to the company.
I’d stealthily record her and email it to hr or someone. Or I’d quit and explain why. Thats harassment.
At what point should she just completely ignore this bitter lady’s existence? Look behind you. The point is quite a ways back.
Your GF needs to stop trying to be a people pleaser and think that she can somehow win this woman into being less rude and a friend. What this woman is doing is being a bully. As long as your GF (1) reacts to it or (2) cowers this woman will continue her BS.
– First document everything. Any rude and inappropriate comment. Include the dates, times, and if anyone else was present. Keep a journal or list – paper is best and best kept with her at all times or at home. Don’t leave in the desk at night.
– If there is an HR ensure that HR is brought into the loop. use the terms “hostile work environment”, “rude”, “aggressive”, etc. Especially the “hostile” – that is key. Follow up any contact with HR with an email even if to document the conversation.
– Leave the woman alone. Don’t try to engage, talk, or anything. Just stop. GF needs to stop this trying to engage now.
– If the woman enters her office for any reason. Ensure the door stays open and do not let her close it. Record any interactions with a phone – video is best. Come up with a specific phrase as in “leave my office now you are making me uncomfortable” – notice it is not a “please leave” but rather a “leave”. Or just go with “Get out of my office now”.
– If she does not want to confront the woman then GF could just get up and leave the office. keep a poker face and just walk out.
– She should ensure her management knows what is occurring. Do not get emotional but rather be very professional. Again the phrase is “hostile work environment”.
The minute she walks into her office, you’re girlfriend needs to stand up and loudly announce that if she has a problem, she should take it up with a manager or HR. Stand in the hallway and be loud about it. Interrupt her if necessary. This is just bullying.
Over the years I’ve realized there are a few individuals who will push and push but then if you blow up at them all of a sudden there is a re-set and they act more respectful.
I don’t know if it’s worth the risk but I’m 90% sure this lady will be a good candidate for your gf to have a tantrum and get a good outcome.
>but at what point should she just completely ignore this bitter lady’s existence?
Right now
She should just continue to be professional and not bother trying to change this woman’s opinion. If something occurs that warrants HR attention address it like she did previously.
Just be the bigger person. It sucks, but it’s not worth devoting energy toward.
Record her rants. Play them for the boss. Let him feel the irrational anger. 😡