Growing up as a kid and till now, I’ve always had the inclination of nothing of how, what, or anything could you say or do really mend, fix, cover the loss one immediately experiences like my Mom. Thanks all for your suggestions and any advice from your own experience too.
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Everyone’s grief is different, so this is where emotional intelligence comes in. For example, you can start by taking things off her plate. Unprompted, do the things that take her time, like cleaning floors, bathrooms, cooking, etc. If she’s doing it, quietly do it with her so that its over sooner. But if she tells you to please stop, back off. She may be using cleaning as time for herself to process. Get it?
Cook breakfast for her.
Tell her you love her.
Give her grace if she’s lashing out.
Give her comfort if she’s crying. Get her some tea or a glass of water and a hug.
Ask for stories about her parent. Ask questions, and for happy memories.
Just be there
Thats sweet that you want to support your mom. This is a very strange and sobering time for her, losing her parent. Youre right, there’s nothing you can really say at a time like this. It’s important not to say things like “it’ll be okay” or “he’s in a better place.”
I’d just do something nice for her, take something off her plate, make her a nice meal if she has an appetite, or get a task done that she might struggle with right now (some laundry? Dishes? Vacuuming? Housework can feel very overwhelming at a time like this) Give her a hug and tell her you’re sorry. Later on maybe share some nice memory you have of your granddad.
Sorry for your family’s loss ♡
You can just be around and that will give her some comfort. Be her eyes to see when something needs to be done. You might get her a journal to write down who stops by to visit or bring food. Help her pick out pictures for viewing. She will have a lot on her mind so just help her with those things.
You’re a beautiful soul for wanting to help mom.❤️🙏
Listen more and talk less. Your presence alone is comforting, she might not need comforting words because there are none.
Cook and clean without asking, just do it.
Just be there.
i suggest just being there will be comforting. Be available to listen when she wants to talk about him.
There is a gaping hole in your mom’s life. you cannot fix it. Nothing can fix it but her and time. What you can do is sand the edges of this hole to make them less jagged and easier for her to climb out when she can.
A sad thing has happened. Feeling sad is appropriate. Feeling sad for a long time is appropriate. Let her be sad. Be sad with her. Meet her where she is, not where you want her to be. Share nice memories. You are allowed to be sad too. This means he mattered. Sharing sadness is a nice thing. Few people know truly what she and you have lost because he was yours. Solidarity in that helps.
You’re a super kid for thinking this way. I’m sorry for your loss.