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My hairloss makes me want to die

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Blood_IVthebloodgod

(M23)No, I do not look shaved so don’t waste time with that. I look like I have cancer or another deadly disease. I literally have no family history of hairloss and being the only one makes me want to rip my wrist with my teeth.
I do not even care about others opinion about it, I just want to like myself but every single thing on that side went wrong in my life. I hate the idea of growing a beard as I do not loke it. I hate dealing with people that have absolutely no clue about what it feels like and are like “I don’t understand why you are bothered by it”.
I fucking hate therapy, it’s objectively useless for my problems as I am just too rational about shit, I probably also made some therapist want to quit their job for how much sometimes it seemes like they were in therapy and I was the doctor.
Of course I already self harm, not in a way that leaves me scars but it HELPS and I am sorry if people won’t understand, but it fucking helps feeling in control with anything about my body at this point. Probably the only reason I still did not blow a hole in my head is that it’s almost impossible to get guns where I live and other methods scare the shit out of me.
I’d love to believe the half-assed truths I get thrown by people but I just don’t understand them. What’s saving me at this point is either winning the lottery to have a fucking hair transplant or having my stupid big tumor like head shrink to a normal size. Either way thanks to those that read this pity show.

Comments

  1. toji_foshiguro Avatar
    toji_foshiguro

    If i were you i would get bald, that’s it made peace with it

  2. Toxik1_skr Avatar
    Toxik1_skr

    It’s just hair. Shave your head and be done with it.

  3. Dotdotdot9 Avatar
    Dotdotdot9

    Oh I understand you, I hate the “but you look nice” comments, like, no, I want what I want and if you don’t help me get where I want take your pity elsewhere; also, let’s not pretend “pretty privilege” doesn’t exist, it does.

    Anyway, to your issue, coming from someone who lost chunks of hair due to stress and people now envy my hair:

    • Find the source: you said it wasn’t likely to be genetics so it could be stress, maybe your body isn’t absorbing vitamins properly, you could be dehydrated, there are many possible causes.
    • Start from the inside: What does your diet look like ? You can use many things on your scalp to stimulate growth but a dermatologist told me what we put INSIDE the body has a bigger impact, so eat healthy fats, drink a lot of water and avoid greasy food.
    • Work that scalp: There are many head massagers but the truth is, sit on a couch with your head hanging down and give it a good massage with your fingertips (no nails) and rub some good rosemary oil into it, and you might see some results, but you need to be consistent.
    • Protect your head from the sun: But don’t overdo a hair cap, use heat protection.
    • Go in this order: shampoo, hair mask and conditioner, try different masks, there are many natural that aren’t hard to make, do not recommend sleeping in the natural ones as they might attract bugs.
    • Ask a doctor: Do you need any supplements? Your body at your age should be absorbing nutrients through foods and drinks, what could be going on?
    • Research: To me as a woman it felt mortifying to lose my hair, so my tips are women oriented, maybe there’s different tips for men.
    • Be patient and kind to yourself: this is one part of you, just one, you’re a human tapestry, so while you’re working on this process, focus on the parts that are looking nice, which I bet are more than one.
  4. rollinwheelz Avatar
    rollinwheelz

    Hair is not worth self harm or killing yourself for.