My husband and I have being fighting a lot lately and its because I am being told by him that they way I feel of the situation is wrong. Let me explain. I have being with my husband for more than 10 years. Everything started , 2 years ago they have never being very close as siblings and out of nowhere everything just feels off. I gave birth a year ago so I am still in the new mother area which has being hard because I am struggling to be a mother, a wife and also me as person after the PPD. it started with weird comments like ‘my sister doesn’t like flowers she like plants which I think is a smart idea’ while I was buying myself some flowers cause I wanted to feel a little happy and they look pretty. ‘Why are you such a princess my sister mows the lawn and do the yardwork’ out of nowhere since he already knows I hate doing yard work I already do the housework. ‘My sister likes white lightbulbs’ when I was reminding him that I love yellow lightbulbs for a cozy vibe. ‘ My sister is the only family I have’ when I was telling that him, my son and I were a family. He speaks with her first about everything and I mean everything even what we watch in the TV; what we buy in the supermarket. ‘My sister loves dancing with me’ when I tell him I don’t dance with other people I like to dance alone (he has known this for 10+ years) . ‘My sister likes good perfumes she makes smart choices’. Most of the times when we are having quality time alone as a couple (which is really rare) he will get up and call her in the middle of me having a conversation with him because he needs to speak to her in that moment which he needs to go outside to be able to speak to her on the phone. The weird thing is that is also coming from her side since she has a husband but the person who makes all the decision of her house is my husband since she says she can’t trust her husband with all that stuff. I told him how I feel about the situation the fact that I feel pushed to the side and I feel worthless with all the passive aggressive comments which are now way worse since he told me last week ” children need fathers so they don’t grow up useless they don’t need mothers so I could do everything perfectly if you weren’t here since your mind is so weak from the PPD(Postpartum depression) also my sister can help me raise him since she has a strong mind” He keeps telling me that I can’t understand their relationship since I am an only child and that is normal what they do. Out of nowhere I am not enough he seems to dislike the very obvious differences that I have with his sister and makes me feel bad for having the feeling of this is wrong. am I insane for feeling this is way?
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I think he’s undermining you in the worst way and tries to justify it by comparing you to his sister. I’m not sure how weird their actual relationship is, but him treating you so horribly is disgusting. He’s acting like he doesn’t even like you and you and your son deserve better than being around someone so hateful and toxic. Please start making plans to move out and begin a life with alot less of him and his crappy opinions.
So you said this sister thing started two years ago? And you have been together 19 years?