My husband (33M) told me he thought he “could” hit me (27F) but he “doesn’t want to”

We’ve been together for over 3 years and just got married this year.

My family life growing up was not a great environment. My dad would get infuriated and start throwing punches at my mom (she had a martial arts background so it never fully worked out for him though). Even as a child I got tired of watching him try to attack my mom and would put myself between them because I knew he wouldn’t hit me in that situation.

So obviously in my marriage my spouse knows about this trauma. Last night we were going out and he made a joke about kicking our very rude neighbor in the head after he had done something weird just before we left. I laughed and said “I don’t think that’s the solution!” Then he tells me “I think I could kick you in the head if I had to.” I made a face. He says “I don’t want to! This is just boy talk.” I made even MORE of a face at him when he said that, just kind of went quiet because it made me feel weird. I’m also on my period so I’m already feeling unwell and in pain, I’m like why did my husband just randomly tell me he could harm me?

After being silent for a bit he says “What made you upset about that?” and I, trying to lighten the mood, stick my bottom lip out in a pout and say “Why hurt wife?” I guess he didn’t like that lol, he said “You can’t deal with a hypothetical? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize one comment would ruin the entire night.”

At this point I’m emotionally tired and I say “sorry”. He tells me it’s okay because my period is just making me emotional. I get even more annoyed at this but try to move past it so we can get through our event. He later apologized for being checked out recently as he has job stress, but it just made me feel gross and bad

If you think this post sounds familiar I had the “testing me” post like 5 days ago. I would’ve made this post on that account but I lost access to it unfortunately. So we are already having out of nowhere issues. He DID NOT act this way before we were married. I am in the process of resuming therapy but I’m still a bit out on a new appointment and I have no idea why my spouse has been randomly putting me down lately. Any additional advice/being told I’m not crazy would be wonderful. Also bc I forgot to include it in my last post, I am autistic so I recognize I may have taken his joke too seriously or something, idk

tl;dr my husband decided to tell me he thought he could hit me. When I made a face he told me he doesn’t actually want to and it’s just ‘boy talk’. I tried to be silly when I called him out on it and he basically just got irritated that his comment bothered me and then called me hormonal. I’m not really sure where to go from here, it just makes me feel sad and alone