So I 29f have been struggling with my mental health for a few years, I tried to get better, I never neglected him, I was just more tired and sometimes down, cried a lot and stuff.
I found out my husband has been cheating with his girl best friend, and I’m just so tired honestly, he doesn’t know I found out yet but can I just give up? Like idk do anything but confront him…I feel like dying, I just don’t know what to do…I feel so hurt and sad…I’m not even angry just disappointed I guess…idk how to move on from this…I love him so much…
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You have every right to feel exhausted, hurt, and completely drained. What your husband did is a profound betrayal, and your pain is completely valid. You don’t have to confront him right now, your only job at this moment is to breathe and keep yourself safe. You are allowed to give yourself permission to rest, to grieve, and to prioritize your own well-being above everything else. You don’t need to have all the answers right now. When you’re ready, consider reaching out to someone you trust, a friend, family member, or therapist, who can support you through this. You don’t have to carry this alone. You are worthy of love, honesty, and respect. Nothing about his actions reflects your value. Take care!
Sis! u deserve so much frickin better. It sucks, but u gotta confront him. Remember, his crap choices ain’t a reflection of who u are, it’s his crap character. Don’t let him or anyone dim your light. Stay strong, woman, and lean on the people who genuinely love and support you!
It’s okay to be sad but you’re 29, cut your losses and find someone else.
I’m so sorry friend 🙁 that’s horrible.
I would try to take a moment to breathe. The best thing you can do right now is think logistically, you need to seek an exist plan because I don’t think staying with this person would be healthy for you.
You are not responsible for his actions you are no less a human who deserves respect, love and a promise made to be kept. My advice process, be sure and if you choose to leave gather evidence so the break up doesn’t get too ugly from his side.
I’m sorry you went through this and I hope you have people to turn too
You need to work on your mental health and get yourself better. It sounds like you have had depression for years. You said you tried to get better, were you under a doctor’s care? Now this and I’m afraid you may find yourself in a hole you can’t get out of. Please reach out to family, therapist, anyone who will give you support. You obviously can’t count on him. Once you get better, you can tackle the marriage.
See a lawyer first before you say or do anything. Secure your part of the funds in a separate account and check behind those expenses. Letting go of him will be a load off your shoulders.
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I think you honestly know, what to do as any self respecting women. Whenever I hear stories like this it always makes it so scary to get married even though I don’t wanna be alone. Especially cause I always wanted to get married before 23. I hope you get through it girl, no one deserves to go through something like that.
I’m 31 now but my wife cheated when I was 29. Been single ever since but after one tough year, this year has been pretty amazing. You always have somebody to talk to if you need it 🙂
It’s hard I lived close that situation and one thing that worked for me doing new thing. I left him and I started to do new thing and that help me so much. Maybe the relationship with him it was not the best and for that you cried a lot it’s like stress but you didn’t express literally with words and accumulated many things in your inside. I went through the same thing. Sent u a hug and be strong you can leave him and be happy with yourself !
Heard a quote the other day that said: if God can take away someone you never thought you’d lose; he can replace it with someone you never thought you’d have
So very sorry. Not sure what good confrontation will do. He cheated and now it’s time for you to decide what you want your life to be.
Quietly see an attorney, make a plan and spend time with people in your life Who love you.
Sending you best wishes and a virtual hug.
I think it’s really cringe to post this you know exactly what to do or any person who would do. You’re an attention seeking whore I can see why your husband has cheated on you.
Hey guys, I have this really obvious solution, but I want validation that would get really old
Taking drugs for low self-esteem is like patching a hole in a boat with scotch tape
Some doctors capitalizing off of your misfortune
Or the whole thing is fake and you just want to fill the empty hole in your life
I strongly doubt that you don’t want advice. I think you’re dragging your baggage all over town to get attention at best. At best
don’t. if u need some one my dms are open.
His cheating is about his choices, not your worth. You don’t deserve this pain, and it’s okay to put yourself first now.
Sending you super tight hugs. There is surely a way to go up and high. Believe in yourself.
If you’re American, if you’re ever thinking of hurting yourself or that you’d be better off dead, please call or text 988. They are much more qualified to help you than Reddit.
That aside, being cheated on sucks — it’s happened to me, it’s probably happened to most of us. Some relationships survive it. Many do not. Some that survive it shouldn’t have.
You do not owe it to your husband to forgive him. You do not owe it to your husband to stay with him even when he’s stepping out on you. And you do not have to be alone and adrift forever if you leave. Only you can decide your path forward from here — just know you are not trapped, you do not have to stay, you do not have to be silent. And there is life beyond this person who blithely betrayed you.
Your husband’s got some serious commitment issues if he thinks cheating is part of the package deal! Time to focus on yourself and let him figure out how to win back someone worth keeping!
Girl best friend was the number 1 red flag sis
Bet once you leave him you’ll be feeling a lot better mentally.
Well the easiest way to move on from this is to make sure you can back up the claim because if confront him and if he lies and convinces you that it’s all fake then you will deal with this again. If he admits to it but says please give home a chance to change but after about 2 days of you being upset thinks you are holding on to the past and won’t let it go then you have been shown the change he was talking about. Not making things right when it may have made a difference. But waiting until you no longer care to work things out and turning it around on you waaaaaayyyy too late .
Get therapist, meds if needed and dump his ass. Stop talking like it’s your fault he’s broken his vows and stuck his dick onto someone else.
theres two simple options, talk and work it out, or drop him and move on. The choice is yours, and the rest of the answers in this thread are going to be the very long form of what I just said here.
Aww SUGAR! PLEASE listen to me! I went thru a a divorce after 20yrs, paid for it all solo, and am a single parent to a 12yo ds/severely autistic/nonverbal/incontinent ++, AND have a 14yo dd that put me thru the ringer today and frankly, all summer. I am 43. What you are feeling rn will dull over time and, eventually, those feelings may even seem silly. I really have been through where you’re saying you are. With all of that, including current, stressful life, I am grateful to be here now. I did not think I would make it this far. Give yourself time to evolve. And within that time, You will. There is no man that deserves control over your existence. The fact that you even feel that way proves he is not worthy. Yes, it will take time, but give yourself the grace of that, if you can. I TRULY believe that you’ll look back a decade from now and recognize both his and invalue and your value.
I’m so sorry. That’s the absolute worst! Sounds like it’s time to cut your losses though
If you are exhausted, then you need to break away from this life styles which unfortunately means likely divorce from him. Then live your life and do everything for yourself
Going through the same thing actually. He betrayed everything and you need to harden yourself now. Protect yourself at all costs and don’t let him weasel his way out of it
SERVE DIVORCE PAPERS.
So you weren’t having sex with him?
Have you gone to the doctor for a physical?
I think that YOU think it is your fault somehow that your husband did this. It is NOT your fault and there is no excuse for what he did. I would leave him and focus on your mental health. You deserve happiness, love. Take care of yourself.
It sounds like he’s not been there to support you. It’s ok to feel crappy about the whole situation and it’s ok to walk away. Please get some help and support through this.
I wish you happiness
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Struggling with mental health is so challenging, you want a a partner that can ride it out and support you with it. This one doesn’t seem to be able to do that. Also life may get more challenging what happens if you have a baby and have post partum depression? What happens when a parent dies? If he cant be loyal and supportive through the first early change in so sorry to say it may just get worse as life’s challenges often do.
I say this as someone who’s going through a similar challenge. We were blissful until I had complications delivering my baby, nearly died and then struggled with continued physical and mental health struggles after. He basically treated me like shit so I’m separating now bc I either want to be with someone who will hold my hand and ride out life’s storms by my side or I want to be alone but I don’t want betrayal or neglect in any way.
That’s shitty and I’m sorry this happened to you. Confront them both and get the closure you deserve about the situation.
I’ve always thought that no one owns anyone even if it’s their spouse. You may be deeply hurt by his betrayal but you need to be the better person in this and stay strong in order to rationally deal with the situation. Also, just because you’ve been depressed is not enough reason to cheat on your spouse. What ever happened to for better or for worse? I guess this changed once it became so easy to get a divorce? If there me I would try and find a good therapist who specializes in couples relationships to help you through this. Just realize you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and you will pull through this.
You deserve better. And you will realize it. You love him but he obviously doesn’t love you, or he would have thought about you rather than cheating. He doesn’t respect you and is not really a supportive partner.
It sucjs but you will find better if you kick him to the curb and move on
So mental health can be so many different levels, neglect can come in different forms and marriage for the majority is not easy! What ever you decide to do stay, leave etc…first thing is to get help for yourself, counseling, Al a non, church, women’s groups, read, exercise, all these things will help you with your mental health. Focus on yourself for awhile and get better, once you work on yourself, the more clear your mind and your decision making will be.
Mental health is hard. But you have to do what’s best for you. Moving on is hard but necessary, especially living with someone who has hurt you. It’s not easy, but dealing with a bad situation daily will only make things harder and worse later.
On another note, the mentioning of dying is concerning. https://988lifeline.org is a great resource for someone to talk to who can understand what you’re going through and will offer some helpful advice. Also if nothing more than a friendly voice.
I wish you the best of luck.
The guy I was seeing for 2 years was drinking and drugs for 2 years and displaced for choking me one time…. I’ve already been through abuse with my birth giver and my kid’s bio dad… ex knew this.. his 2 best friends apparently didn’t know why he was he was arrested til I called him after finding he was cheating on me with sidepieve for about 6 months. I’m hoping to finally sleep after 2 days of emotional turmoil and just doom scrolling for 2 days.
So sorry. Men are so selfish sometimes. Its really tough if you should forgive or move on. Just know once they cheat once it may happen again…
Im here for you if you need to talk.
First of all, I wish I could hug you. I have been there. Second, the “hardest one of all”. “Do you have children?” Third “Thank GOD, you don’t.” Easy Peasy, if you own property together do a split 50/50. Fourth, if you have kids hire a NASTY divorce attorney and make him wish he kept his “hot dog” at home.
Dont you dare let himself blame you. You shut that down that’s on him. But do it when your ready bust started making preparations. Take care of yourself.
29? You have so much left – move on and cut losses before you waste your life away
davidsow52 This is the best quote! This is exactly what GOD did for me! You are in a hard session but just put your faith in GOD and I promise you he will carry you out of it. What he has in store for you is better and brighter than you ever thought you deserved! Keep your head up and be kind to yourself because what your husband has done to you has nothing to do with you but everything to do with the person he is. I wish you the best! You got this!