Last month my husband (M29) left me (27F) and my kids (ages 4&6) without warning to be with a 17 year old girl he met online, specifically Reddit. They communicated for a year before he finally jumped ship. In his hurry to leave his family he forgot to delete everything on the computer.
Being the traditional housewife, I took care of the home and our children while he worked and financially supported us. We live in a small town with a population of roughly 500, where there are no opportunities unless you’re a commercial fisherman.
I finally got an entry level work from home customer service job making roughly $500 wkly but we are literally drowning. I’ve applied for various types of temporary government assistance but it’s extremely slow going. Unfortunately he and my children were my only family so I have no one I can call or turn to for any type of support. Resources are extremely limited here. The closest food pantry is at a church 26 mi away and is only open the third Thursday of every month.
I honestly have absolutely no idea what to do. My children think their father is out on one of his 3-month shrimping trips and I haven’t had the heart to tell them otherwise yet. All they understand is that there is not enough food on the table and that their mother cries all the time. I have absolutely no energy or motivation for myself but I’ve got to do something for my children. Once the government benefits start, I’m going to try to make arrangements to move us into a bigger city but right now my hands are completely tied.
At least I found a divorce attorney that works pro bono and I can begin to get that part of my behind me because no matter what… I’ll be homeless before he comes back here. I’ve never despised someone so much in my life. As of now I’m not sure if he’s going to allow me and the children to stay in this house or if he has ideas of his own up his sleeve and the unknown is quite terrifying. I have no college education because I dropped out of my second year of nursing school when I got pregnant with my second child. I have no idea what to do to get myself and my children out of this situation. It’s taking every penny I’m making right now to keep the utilities on. If anyone has any good advice please by any means…
I’m not asking for a handouts or anything just some simple good advice from anyone that may have been in a similar situation…
I’m not even sure if this will be posted because I’m on a throwaway account for privacy reasons…💔
My Husband Ghosted His Family For A Teenager
r/Advice
Comments
If you’re located in the us please call 2-1-1.
Time to get the law involved, if not for custody money than to report him for hooking up with a minor (depending on the law of the land) keep in mind.
You are worth a lot more than he deserves.
So sorry. You’re going to make it through this. Try the website findhelp.org
Firstly, breathe. You need you and your babies need you. Secondly, look into what gov benifits ur getting and if they’re gonna change state to state or wherever u plan to move because if they are ur going to have to do everything ur doing now all over again. You need to file for child support immediately. I would avoid daycare at all costs as it will be more than you make monthly, try odd jobs and semi explain ur situation, majority would not mind u tagging along ur children or even keeping an eye on them. You’ll make it through!
Your ex is a child predator.
Be glad he left of his own accord before it caused problems for you.
Now sue his sorry ass for child support and alimony.
Report him to the police. This is a felony.
Gosh I feel so sorry for you. I see this all the time in my country (3rd world) where there are very few resources to help people in situations like yours. In many cases family come to the rescue. Is that not an option in your case? Parents, siblings, uncles aunts etc. is there nothing there that can help.
I’m so sorry, for everything you’re going through. Sending you lots of hugs.🤗🤗
No problem at sending photos.
Divorce settlement, hire a Rottweiler.
Please call child services and report this.
If you have applied for government assistance, they will be seeking him out to pay them back for any TANF received. Filing for child support immediately is the way to start. If you know who his employer is, ask that the child support be handled through DCSE. That way it is automatically deducted from his pay and paid to your children. Speak with your oldest’s school and let them know what is happening. They may have resources available for food through them. There is another group here called s/Assistance that has helped many with Amazon wishlists and requests for help.
You need to focus on the long-term. I would return to finish the nursing degree. Nursing pays well, so it will allow you to support you and the kids.
First step: Make sure you have talked to Social Services to follow up on your assistance applications. There are emergency programs for short-term needs to help you until you can receive regular benefits. Social Services can also steer you to nonprofits that can help you right away, especially for food.
Second step: Talk to your university’s admissions and financial aid offices. Get started with the paperwork. With your current financial situation, you should qualify for grants and loans to pay for school AND living expenses.
Third step: If you have attained your CNA certification as part of your nursing school training, you may be able to get work right away that will help you long-term. Lots of hospitals and some medical offices will assist with education costs for upgrading your medical skills. In exchange, they will want you to stay with them for 3-5 years once you have gotten your degree.
Finally, I know you are scared. Keep in mind that there are lots of good people who will help a single mother with children. Many churches/synagogues/mosques will assist, even if you don’t attend. Don’t be afraid to ask. We all need help from others from time-to-time.
File for custody and child support.
Hang in there, you will make it thru this and be stronger.