Hello,
TL;DR : My husband has become very religious, even though I have been supportive, i’m not interested myself. I don’t think I fit into his new life and beliefs. What should I do?
First time poster so please forgive me (so sorry this is so long).
My husband (32m) and I (28f) have been together for almost 8 years, married for 3. Over the past 6 months he has become very religious (baptist) which I have been fully supportive of. He started going more times a week, and became more consumed.
He has started to show frustration and resentment toward the things we used to align on/ both do (medical maraijuana, spirituality, drinking, porn, even cussing).
He says he’s worried about my vices, they are getting a grip one me and how they are just covering my emotions and past trauma (which is a good place to add, i don’t think i have a problem with consumption, nor do other close friends and family. But i am willing to seek help if he wants).
I think it’s because i’m not joining him on this journey. I have my own beliefs, astrology, tarot cards, etc.
I told him I would love to go at some point, see his new world, I would help if the church needed an extra hand..
But what it really comes down to, is he told me he wants the Bible to be a set of values he wants to live by as well as any future children.
I told him I could go to counsoling 3 times a week, I could be completely sober, that doesn’t mean i’m going to want to go to church all the time, and “be saved”. I might, you never know, but it doesn’t interest me now. I will find my path when i am ready. I asked him if he could live in a split religion household, he said “I don’t know, I’ll have to pray on it.”
He also has a son (teenager) from a previous relationship that he has not shown any frustration with him not wanting to go..
Is the church telling him i’ll go to hell for my past and my daily life? Does he want a more devoted church woman? Is there a new woman at church thats making him question his current relationship with a “non believer”?
Other note worthy comments of his:
“God comes before all else, as the Bible commands.”
“I don’t want to change you, I want you to be a better version of yourself without relying on other things.”
“You won’t get better if you don’t want to get better and be saved.”
“Jesus told people to avoid tarot and fortune tellers as they taint the soul.”
“People grow apart, as much as I hate to say that”
I’m more than willing to go to couples counsoling but is it going to help when I no longer fit into his new world and these monumental changes in him?
Thank you in advance for any advice and to those who made it to the end..
all of these conversations have happend over the last 48 hours, extremely fast, and a complete 180 from a year ago