I [32M] got my driver’s license very late, in my mid 20s. My husband [M39] has given me shit for my driving style, because it doesn’t match his exactly. I drive safe, have been on the roads for 4 years now and have not once gotten a traffic violation of any kind. But he’ll criticize my driving occasionally, and we’ve had to have a conversation about it because driving him around makes me extremely anxious because I’m just expecting him to start making snide comments any moment. You’re driving too slow. or Too fast or Too close! The one that annoys me the most is when I’m trying to pass a slow vehicle, he panics and wants me to get back on the right lane.
Anyway, he’s a micromanager/backseat driver, because he’s got anxiety about everything. It gets annoying, and spikes my anxiety too. He’s been working on his backseat driving and it’s gotten much better.
One major difference between our parking styles is I prefer to reverse park. Makes it easier to drive out if I’m in a hurry. Him on the other hand, must drive into the parking spot. Whatever, not a big deal, until he makes snide comments about me reversing into my slot. Because it makes him anxious that I might hit something. I never have, I never do.
Today we ran into a situation where he had to reverse into a parking spot due to how crowded it was. He parked very close to the road because he didn’t want to reverse all the way in. Other cars couldn’t pass through.
That’s when he asked me if I’d be willing to park the car for him farther back. Because he sucks at reverse parking and it scares him.
Hah. I suspected he was bad at reverse parking, and that’s why he would never do it; and that’s why it almost always freaked him out when I did it.
He’s been driving a lot longer, since he was 16. He can’t reverse park.
Anyway, I want to shame him and annoy him. But I’m also glad he asked for my help. That was hard for him to admit. So I just wanted to gloat here. 🤣
Comments
Sounds like your husband is a terrible driver, and annoying passenger but obviously loves and trusts you
Wooo hooooo!! Well done!
I hope your big baby of a husband takes this as the reality check he needs. Being a backseat driver when you are a good driver is not just annoying, it can decrease respect and attraction lol.
Ask him why he is so fixated on you driving exactly like him. The answer may be helpful if you end up going to therapy in the future – him micromanaging you like this can be a gateway to escalating controlling behavior later on.
I find reverse parking so much better/easier! Good on you!
It sounds like you have a wife.
Get yourself a real man, that’s brutal
As someone that can’t reverse park without my camera (I use my mirrors too guys) due to my vision problems/ depth perception I am CACKLING
Haha, love it. And love that you helped him in the moment and had your moment to gloat elsewhere. Seems like a good team approach.
I also got my license late, 19, and my bf kinda acts the same. I don’t like driving him around cause he’s always gotta say something and it makes me anxious. I also think it’s easier to reverse park, pulling into a spot I always feel a little nervous.
I don’t remember the source so I guess take this with a grain of salt but I remember reading that reverse parking is safer because there’s less likely to be someone or something in the park and more likely to be something or someone on the road or in the carpark, so it’s better to be moving forward where you have better visibility when leaving the park than when entering it.
If it makes you feel better, I was over 40 when I got mine, but better late than never lol. I got my motorcycle licence first, that gave me the confidence to try for my drivers licence. I love driving, and the independence is just the best.
I got my license in my early 20s. I only had a problem with my dad. Drove me nuts when I had to take him anywhere. Told him firmly and politely to stop with the comments while I’m driving. I am the only one who learned thru a driving school (Taggarts). Best part I to drive in February (lots of snow in NJ). Never had an accident due to snow. Plus got discount on auto insurance
Oh, this is rich. I’m feasting on this. The man who’s been breathing down your neck like you’re auditioning for Fast & Furious: Cautiously Considered Commute Edition just handed you the keys literally and metaphorically because he cannot handle the dark art of reverse parking. Magnificent.
This is classic overcompensation 101. He couldn’t just say “I’m bad at this, it makes me anxious,” so he masked it by acting like you were the problem. “You’re too close!” “You’re too slow!” Translation: “I don’t know what I’m doing and it terrifies me that you do.”
Honestly, your restraint is admirable. I would have slow-clapped while backing into the spot effortlessly, windows down, making eye contact like “Is this the anxiety you were talking about, my precious little honk-honk?”
But yes good on him for asking for help, even if it took seven years, multiple snide remarks, and a mild parking crisis. Growth is real, even for high strung control goblins.
I do encourage you to gloat just enough to make it memorable, but not so much that he spirals and starts criticizing your turn signal usage again. Maybe say something like, “It’s okay, sweetie, we can all’t be majestic reverse wizards.” And then never let it go.
God tier moment. You win this round.
Lol, he’s criticizing you because he’s jealous of you. My wife is a better and safer driver. I would NEVER backseat drive
Paramedic here. I reverse park ALL the time. lol I use side mirrors and pop that huge bitch in there without even thinking about it so it’s even easier in a smaller vehicle without a gigantic box on the ass of it. Makes soooo much more sense for the quick getaway or more controlled exit if it’s a busy lot.
Good skill to have! If he’s feeling brave one day, teach him your ways!