A while back, I spent two weeks in a psychiatric facility due to depression. I’m doing better now and finally starting to accept everything that happened.
My ex-husband and I were together for 7 years. He’s an architect, constantly traveling for work. We had agreed not to have kids—he said he didn’t want to be an absent dad, that he was raised in an orphanage and didn’t want to risk passing down bad genes. I respected that. Maybe I should’ve questioned it more. But I loved him deeply.
Two days before his 40th birthday (a celebration I had spent a month planning), he told me he was leaving. He said he didn’t see a future with me and had met someone else at the gym—the same gym he never wanted me to join. She was in her early-to-mid 20s. Months later, after our divorce, she messaged me to gloat that she was pregnant with his child. She made it clear it was out of spite—sent me disgusting, hurtful messages meant to crush me.
He had told her I couldn’t give him kids. That was a lie. He didn’t want kids. At least not with me, I guess.
Fast forward. They never got married, even though she wanted to. He pays child support but left her too. A mutual friend told me she’s an awful mom—leaving their baby unattended, yelling at him, sleeping through feedings due to her medication. My ex wants full custody now. Apparently, he even slapped her once, which shocked me. He never laid a hand on me, never even raised his voice.
I told our mutual friend that I feel awful for the baby, but I don’t want to be involved or hear more.
Three days ago, he texted me out of nowhere. Apologized. Said he feels guilty for how he treated me and just wants to meet and talk—nothing more.
The problem is… I still love him. And now I don’t know what to do.
I don’t even know what I’m hoping for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud.
Comments
I hate to say it he is looking for someone to look after the baby. He wants you all to be a happy family. He wants to get custody and then leave all the responsibilities to you. Run. Don’t be drawn in by him.
I’ll be honest, despite his reasons for wanting to meet, mostly based around easing his conscience I’d have thought, I can’t see you getting anything other than hurt from this encounter, some things are best left alone. I wish you all the best
This guy did you so wrong and left you in such a bad position you had to get treatment… which I know took tremendous strength to do. I 100% understand that you still have love for this man, I feel that’s normal after so much time together. But do you really want to risk unraveling all your hard work? If it was that bad the first time, I don’t even want to think of the second. This might not be what you want to hear, but in my opinion.. Screw that guy. He’s running back to you to take care of that baby. That woman sounds like a fucking nightmare. THATS ON HIM. He chose to leave you for that. If you think it’s bad now, I can only see it getting much worse…
Even if he doesn’t want you to help raise the child, you would undo all the work you have put into healing yourself by getting back with him. The love you hold for him is not the love you’d have now. Before it was trusting and unblemished. Now it would be different with you always wondering where he was and when he was going to leave or cheat again. Believe me. I’ve been there. It will gradually eat your self esteem and you’ll be worse off for it. Move on. Do it for you.
sis, once a cheater always a cheater.
he destroyed you. he let this woman text you crushing statements. he physically hit her. he told lies about you in the worst light.
now he is losing grip of control & now wants to manipulate your hearts strings because he knows you are vulnerable. hes a predator.
there is no chance this will ever work out. no other woman is interested in this man & now hes crawling back.
this will be the moment you make your breakthrough in your recovery.
say yes & name a place & time. he’ll agree. meet with staff earlier that day & think of something they can give him as your final f you.
write a note along with the item youve selected & let this pile of garbage have it.
he stole your best years. he stole all that time you could of had with a real man who will worship you.
tell him all you need to say in the note. give both items to staff in preparation & when the time comes, block his number & cut all ties.
he was not loyal to you. loyalty is the basis of any relationship. he lost all privileges.
again, dont let him worm his way back into your life. you deserve so much better.
Man, you need to stand up for yourself and love yourself more than you love that asshole. He is very obviously a horrible person with very poor judgment and you deserve better.
Op this story macthes nothing of the other story on your profile.
This is fake news