The other week me(f22) and my fiancé (m26) got into a pretty big argument. On the way back from grocery shopping future children were brought up, I mentioned how I’d love to have a little girl. Instead of agreeing or saying something joyful, he quickly said how he’d be disappointed and how he’d want a son. I knew he’d always wanted a son but I didn’t think a daughter would be a disappointment. He then compared a daughter to a son like, “ getting a handmedown automatic car compared to a manual new car”. I guess he sees daughters as inferior?
We went on for a bit, when I asked why he really wanted a son, he said, “ I don’t want my bloodline to end, and if I have a daughter it’ll end with her with my family name”. I was speechless, he’s not royalty or anything so I’m not sure where bloodline is considered important.
We reached home and I ignored him for a bit, it then blew up again, I tried to be reasonable and maybe come to a resolution, he kept shouting and mocking me. It reached a pinnacle where he shouted, “what fucking man wants a daughter”. I walked out the house because I had some unsavoury things I wanted to yell. I left to go to work, and whilst driving I received a barrage of texts saying how he’s cutting my car off the insurance since I’m being so childish. That evening he apologised and I thought we’d made some progress when it comes to communication.
Flash forward a week later, I’m at work doing my thing when I receive a message from him saying how the cars battery is dead( context I have two cars, he has one, his car was at the garage so he’s been borrowing one of mine for a couple weeks), I spoke with my coworker, and she said as it’s quiet I can finish early so he can get my other car so he can get to work. We then did some talking and he agreed that if I head back early he’d run me back to work so I don’t miss out on hours. My coworker was also happy to drop me off at home. He messaged me saying if I head home now he can drop me off back at work. So I head home and call him once I’m outside. I said, “hey honey, I’m outside, where are you?” He snapped at me saying, “im nowhere near ready you come inside I’m not coming out”. Despite my inner urge to just drive back to work after that attitude, I park up, call to him when I’m in the house and sit down on the sofa to wait. Ten minutes pass and he storms down the stairs, sees me, snaps at me saying “ jeez thanks for the help, nice of you to help me when I’m in the pinch”. I’m very confused, by his attitude and also the fact that letting him use both my cars is not considered helping in a pinch?? We got in the car I’m baffled, try and ask calmly why he’s so worked up. I’m the barked at with words along the lines of, I’m going to be late for work, you don’t even help me, I had to rush to shave, you could’ve packed my lunch whilst I’m getting ready. I was genuinely shocked. He then continued to yell at me in the car and mock me. I just don’t get how he doesn’t see how weird he’s being.
Whenever we have arguments like this he always ends up making me feel like it’s my fault for not always being able to know what’s going on. I know I’m far from perfect and I make mistakes. But I would never treat him how he’s treating me at the moment. I feel like I’m always on egg shells, and everything I do is being scrutinised by him and judged. And that no matter what I’m doing it’s not enough for him. I just don’t know if he’s really being an ah or if I’m just being over sensitive. Am I the AH?
Comments
NTA – I know reddit is quick to say to leave someone
But. Girl. This guy has more red flags than a chinese parade. You absolutely should not be having kids with this man.
Please do not have a child with this man. If you end up having a daughter she will be traumatized. I am not sure if you didn’t see all these red flags before getting married but honestly I would be thinking about divorce. These issues are core values.
You’re NTA
He sounds like he is – but let me tell you, hopefully you can take a little comfort in this. Although I didn’t express it in the way that your husband did, as a man who grew up without sisters, when my wife was pregnant with our first child I didn’t just want a boy, I fully assumed it was going to be a boy and never really contemplated having a girl.
From the moment she was born I was a changed man – she’s now 20 and I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it.
Nta.
I’m a Dad of 2. Always wanted a boy I thought…my daughter was born first. She’s the best. A light in my life. My son was born second. I love him but frankly it’s a little bit different.
You’re NTA. He sounds like an enormous piece of shit.
You realize you can’t have kids with him, right? What happens if you have a daughter? Now she’s stuck with a garbage father that hates her.
I don’t think this man should be breeding at all. Do you really want to share a life and children with this so called man? NTA overall and hope that you pause and take some time to think about what you want.
NTA – I didn’t have to read the second paragraph. He’s abusive and speaks about having children as though he’s Henry VIII, wtf. Get out of there ASAP, and definitely don’t consider reproducing with this creature.
NTA. I know so many enthusiastic girl dads. Who literally wouldn’t trade being a girl dad for the WORLD. Your husband is a misogynist, is the problem. He views girls/women (yes, including you) as less than man. And it shows.
NTA but why on earth did you not discuss having kids before you decided to marry this person? He’s sounds like a misogynistic ass hole. I would leave before I fall pregnant and am stuck with this man in my life forever.
Lol no way this is real. I can’t imagine why anyone that would wanna stay with trash like that guy.
I really hope this is more of the fake bs because otherwise this is insane fo even ask this question
>saying how he’s cutting my car off the insurance since I’m being so childish.
So he’d financially abuse you at a minor disagreement. You’re not being over sensitive, you’re in the pot and water is heating up, you’re just not seeing it. NTA
what in the hell just happened. he doesn’t just see daughters as inferior.. he sees WOMEN as inferior.
he sees YOU as inferior.
get out, girl. don’t let any of your kids have this dude for a father.
NTA
for reference, my husband always wanted a daughter.
NTA – but your husband is a fucking idiot
NTA You are married to one though.
Why would you ever want kids with this person? If you have kids with him, not only you but your kids will be treated like this. Is this honestly what you want for yourself and your kids?
NTA.
Please, please, please do not have a child with this man. If you have daughters he will let them know how worthless and disappointed he is with them when he’s not ignoring their existent. If you happen to have a daughter and a son, the son will be the favored golden child and the daughter will be trash in his eyes.
His obvious bias against female children and his outburst, I think you need to reconsider the whole relationship. If you always feel you are on egg shells, that’s not healthy and doesn’t sound safe, TBF.
DEFINITELY NTA. He’s completely wrong for acting that way towards you, and he’s the one in fact acting childish. Is their anything that could be stressing him out in his life that could be causing this change in behaviour? Or is this genuinely his normal behaviour but heightened?
I guess my advice would be to sit him down and explain to him how him lashing out isn’t fair and to see if there’s a way that you can come to an understanding. Also, his view on having a daughter is a huge red flag.
Wishing you the best, you dont deserve to put up with that
No, NTA, you are clearly not a mind reader. I can’t believe you told him you’re wishing for a daughter and he wants to cut off your car insurance. Why would you even want to have a child with this person? He sounds so unkind and difficult to live with And very unhappy. What a miserable person. Help me understand, but why do you even stay with him?
Ima dude and he got control issues amongst other 1s. Like poor judgment communication empathy and more. Seriously reconsider the thought of having a family with him as well as marriage. Mane he sound like hell to deal with
RUN.
NTA, but you are if you stay with him.
He is already being a terrible husband, and he will be a terrible father to any child, female or male, that you might have. If you don’t love yourself enough to not stay married to someone like this, then at least love your hypothetical future children enough to not burden them with a lifetime of such a horrible, nasty individual as a father, nor his genes.
Right now, you’re at the point where you can still cut your losses without any permanent link to him. But once you have children, that’s over. And even then, you might someday be able to escape and move on with your life, but your children never will, because they can’t change who their mother chose for them as as their biological father.
Save yourself from a future of almost guaranteed hurt, anger, insults, rudeness and pain, and choose a life with someone kind, loving and decent.
And finally, think of that sweet little girl you dream of having. Why be so cruel to her to give her this knuckle-dragging boor as a father, instead of someone who would love and protect her, and a father filled with joy that she’s in his life?!
Run. Far away from him. As fast as you can.
NTA this is not a safe relationship. You need to get out. He’s a narcissist and does not respect women clearly. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like this.
If you had a daughter he would blame you. I’m guessing he doesn’t know how biology works.
You’re not the asshole, you’re just dating a complete douche canoe who’s also a sexist piece of garbage
Ive been coming to AITA for a number of months now and Im beginning to suspect a lot of these posts are 100% made up. If yours is real I sincerely apologize
Nta
I learned how to braid hair and stuff so she wouldn’t have to rock a ponytail all the time. I’d die for my little girl
NTA. It’s shocking how someone can dismiss another’s dreams like that. I’d love to hear others’ experiences with this, did you stay or leave?
Fucking run. He’s a misogynistic POS. I did not care whether my children were boys or girls.
Counseling immediately and then divorce if that doesn’t work. Definitely no kids before this behavior is corrected.
You want children and since it’s 50/50 chance also he is being a typical male asshole dump him
NTA.
I always wanted daughters. I’ve always been quite calm, as a young boy and as a grown man.
To me boys in kindergarten always seemed like the all had ADHD. To much energy for my personal taste.
We have 2 daughters now, 22 and 20 years. I’ve been a soccer coach for both of them and are very close to them. They have given me nothing but joy.
A lot of fathers want daughters. But, the most important point is that i would have been delighted no matter what gender they were. Children are to me the ultimate happiness.
He sounds like a jerk! I hate him. He doesn’t like girls or women and I can’t abide that.
NTA. Why are you with this guy? Please don’t marry this looser let alone have kids with him. YWBTA if you had kids with someone like this.
If you can’t see what a loser her is, you deserve the misery he’s going to cause you.
Are you the AH? Yes, if you stay.
Are you married to Henry the 8th?
I think he doesn’t want to marry you and is acting like a douchebag so you dump him.
perhaps he had an inarticulate way of phrasing things… I believe while most parents are happy with whatever they get, most parents want to see a little version of themselves. Women want a daughter, men want a son, although they’re (in most cases) happy with whatever they get. My mother only had boys. I know she would have liked to have a daughter. It doesn’t mean she loves me or my brothers any less.
this is one of those things about having children which people oftentimes will not admit. sort of like having a “favorite child”. Of course, no parent is going to admit they prefer one child over another, but if they are honest with themselves (and others) they would admit they have one child who touches their heart more than others. Not that they love their other children any less.
Naturally, we’re also not taking into account cultural differences, where in some cultures having a son is “preferred” over having a girl.
Updateme
You’re not being over-sensitive. You’re being emotionally steamrolled. He insulted the idea of your future daughter, yelled at you for not being psychic, mocked you for helping, and tried to financially punish you for having feelings. That’s not just AH behavior… that’s manipulative. This doesn’t sound like a partner. It sounds like a warning sign.
This reminds me of something I saw in a post once. It said something along the lines of “fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realise their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.” Then someone replies and says “husbands lose their minds a little bit when they realise their wives aren’t as forgiving as their mothers.”
So OP, is this something you want to procreate with? Personally that sounds like you will have 2 children if you have another with your husband
He needs some therapy. He has some serious misogynistic tendencies that are shared with wife beaters. It didn’t look any different than what you describe. Until it got violent. Please. Think about that before continuing this long term. Please. Alot of young men have been warped by a constant stream of misinformation coming from people they trust. Gaming culture is pretty down on females too, so it sneaks in under the radar at first. That’s why it’s such an issue when it wasn’t getting worse for awhile, now it is again. They get it from alot of directions these days.
Wow .. he is quite the little shit and baby. Plus ungrateful. I would have taken the keys to both cars after this. Left a note No more car for you. Uber! Then pack and leave or pack his crap and put it on the curb.
Please leave. Red flags everywhere.
99% of men would weep tears of joy if they had a daughter. Not only does he think daughters are inferior, he thinks women are inferior. Ergo, he thinks you’re inferior. And that’s exactly how he’s treating you. You leave work to chauffer him and he treats you like that?? Girl. I don’t even know you and I know he doesn’t deserve you. PLEASE let this man-child’s “bloodline” die. In fact, it sounds like he’s contributing nothing not just to your happiness, but to humanity or society, too. Put this man outside so he can die on the street with a needle in his arm like he deserves. The sooner the better. He’s taking up oxygen and nutrients that decent kind human beings could be using.
You will definitely be a huge asshole if you stay with him and have kids with him. He sounds so cartoonishly awful, I think it may be a ragebait.
Why are you with someone like this?
Girl RUN!!! Do Not pass go, let them $200 be. He’s showing you how he’s going to act in a marriage. You will alway be inferior to him and his scapegoat. Everything will always be your fault even if you have a daughter, he’ll blame you when the men determine the s3x of a child. He thinks men a superior. He is disrespectful and entitled.
Look into what makes a relationship health and what makes it unhealthy. Yours is insanely u healthy.
Red flags seen from space.
Okay so let’s tick off the red flags for abuse:
THEN, he apologizes. But probably not really. And makes YOU think like it’s your fault he has these absolutely absurd reactions to minor things. He doesn’t value your wants needs or opinions. He clearly believes men are superior, and he holds any financial support or input he provides above you, like a carrot on a stick.
That isn’t a healthy partner. In any sense of the word. This all sounds like abusive and control behaviors. I would strongly hope you reconsider entering an actual marriage with this yahoo.
OP, NTA.
NTA. What are you still doing with this misogynist?
atleast you aren’t married yet!
Girls are more expensive and stressful. I know, I have one of each
You already know you are not the A. He is. He’s insufferable. He thinks you’re his mommy, reading his mind to know he needs somebody to fix a lunch for him because he can’t figure out how to manage time better. And I would not tolerate being yelled at for things you couldn’t even know. He sounds awful.
Dump him and get a non jerk boyfriend and not sexist.
In this case, I always dreamed of having a daughter, maybe one day.
NTA
First of all, bloodlines tend to end with men because the X chromosome is carried forward by males and females whereas the Y is carried only by men.
Secondly, the sperm determines the sex.
Thirdly, is he your husband or fiancé?
Fourthly, I want pizza
Filthy, he’s displaying some really archaic thinking.
Sixthly, while most of the time, parents say all sorts of things and then love their child when s/he’s born, in this case dont take the risk. Leave him and dont get pregnant.
HOLY RED FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE JFC.
This is a glimpse into how the rest of your life will be with this man-child.
You are far too young for this.
GTFO of this relationship.
(NTA if you didn’t already figure that out)
Thank God you wrote Fiance! You’re 22 you’re young obviously not doing too bad yourself leave this man! I’m 33 weeks pregnant now we don’t know the gender my boyfriend has never not once said he wouldn’t want a daughter he mentioned hoping for a boy early on but doesn’t say it at all anymore I know he doesn’t want to make me feel some type of way… but to say no man wants a daughter gross and to constantly berate you for doing nothing but help him and you said you have arguments like this?? Oh no please leave carefully I’m worried for you!
Well I had four. Didn’t bother me!
Dear god. Do not marry this man. Break up immediately and NEVER look back. He is a total misogynistic loser and he will never change. RUN. NTA.
NTA. Please ma’am , divorce your husband. Please
The father’s DNA determines the gender of the child, so if a daughter is born, it’s his fault… not the mama’s.
You buried the lead. Wanting a daughter or a son is superficial to how he handled his stress when all you were doing was trying to help. The question I ask every couple that is struggling, is this how you want to live for the next 50 years? People can change, but it usually takes a traumatic event to trigger it. Let him get some help and be a better partner for his next relationship.
NTA
NTA. PLEASE DON’T MARRY THIS MAN.
He sounds verbally and emotionally abusive. He doesn’t want to have a daughter, so you won’t have a stress free pregnancy, because you will either stress that you’re pregnant with a girl or be stressed because you’re having a girl. He sounds beyond immature. You’re only 22. So much life is ahead of you, and I promise that the man you are supposed to marry would NEVER speak to you like this.
Do not let him treat you like this! You need to leave him and divorce. He is obviously not a good partner. Do it now!
He showed you his true colours, he sees all women as inferior and this is why he feels entitled to treat you this way. You’d be a fool to have kids with this jerk and a fool to stay with him and allow him to treat you like this. Have some dignity and boot him.
Nta
Girl dad here. Always wanted a girl also wanted a boy. Got multiple girls instead. Hes factually false as some men do want daughters
I do in part get the bloodline thing. My family name will essentially die with me as the sole male of my generation and who fathered all girls unless one chooses to keep it and gives it to my grandkids the name dies with me. My wife pointed out that fact. Its a minor bummer but its ok its not the “legacy” i put value in anyway
My bio father was a PoS his father was also. My “legacy” is to restore the family name by hopefully being a good man and good father to my girls. If they can look back and think fondly of the life i gave them and lessons i imparted than i consider my legacy fulfilled and the name restored.
All that being said guy sounds like he hates women. His analogies paint them as inferior in his mind and thats an issue.
His abuse may get much worse after marriage. And it doesn’t sound like he even likes you never mind loves you. You may not be comfortable taking your needs seriously but now is time to start.
Let go of the fantasy and take a very deep and hard look at what your life will be if you marry a man that seems to be incapable of treating you well through the ups and downs of ordinary life let alone the really difficult stuff that is bound to happen.
I’m a man and I only have a daughter, and she’s the best. Your fiance is wrong
This is who you want to marry?! Really??!!!
Wtf is wrong with you? If this isn’t a troll post, you definitely need to not have children with someone who would be disappointed with them half the time.
The rest he comes across as manipulative and controlling. Dump him.
How did you not know this about him before marrying him? NTA
your husband is not only telling you how he would treat any daughter you have, he’s also telling you how he views women as a whole including you. do what you will with that information.
NTA. Besides the obvious „please don’t have a child with a person like that“, I want to add that when I got pregnant my husband wished for a daughter and was elated when our little girl was born. He would have been happy with a boy too, of course, but he’s so happy to be a girl dad. So yeah, the „no man wants a girl“-argument is utter bs. It’s misogynistic and outdated. My own father wished for two girls (and got them) back in the 90s already btw.
Wow I’d be scared to have a baby with him as whether intentionally or not he will always treat the girl differently, at the very least it’ll lead to tons of trauma and emotional scars. Someone who says something like this, I’d also be concerned about abuse/neglect of a female child. OP please don’t marry this jerk.
It is not too late to leave. You will thank yourself when you’re his age.
NTA. I have a 16-month-old daughter and I absolutely love her and I DID want her daughter.
Your husband is a twat. Your husband is a man-child. If I were you I would seriously reconsider this relationship, he clearly has no respect for you.
He also has a very toxic attitude to daughters and women in general. I’d hate to think how he’d act if you did get pregnant with a girl.
I’d throw your husband in the bin and start again.
Dump him yesterday
He’s crazy. Fathers are much, much closer to their daughters than their sons. They will do anything for them. It’s love at first sight unless he’s a total ah. My daughter is daddy’s girl. My granddaughters are all daddy’s girls. The guys are all proud of their sons, but they protect these girls like jewels.
Don’t marry this man. Run
NTA do not have kids with him, he’s abusive and imagine how he’d react and treat a daughter. This would be grounds to leave in my opinion, he’s shown you his true colours, pay attention. Updateme
NTA. Run. He is abusive. You should feel comfortable with your partner and not like you are walking on eggshells.
NTA. this guys bloodline NEEDS to end with him. He’s a total piece of s*it.
Here’s the advice: quietly consult a lawyer, discreetly find somewhere else to live, move while he’s at work, switch the insurance on your cars into just your name! Divorce. Then live happily ever after, with the help of some therapy to discover why you feel you deserve treatment like this.
You are never having children with him, right?
Because if you chance putting an innocent little girl through all the damage he would do to her, then you are just as guilty as he is
NTA but you will be if you marry him. He sounds awful and treats you badly. You are worth more than this and so are your future children.
You should really consider leaving this man-child before getting married. There are so many frightening red flags in your story. I can’t even imagine what kind of life you will have if you choose to marry him and then have a child with him as well. I hope you chose a better life for yourself that doesn’t include him in it.
Donald Trump wants his daughter.
Wait, what are we talking about?
Who does this guy think he is, a fucking Hapsburg?
His reaction to this argument is also extremely outsized. To the point it is worrying.
NTA.
Do not marry this man!!
You need to get out.
If he has a son, and his son later comes out as gay, would he see his son as “less than” because “he is not a man” and his “precious bloodline” might not continue.
You are young and dont want to continue to waste your time with such a low individual, that the only way he can ‘feel superior’ is by bringing down others.
✨️Raise your heard, and strut your way out of there ✨️
I’m a man who actively wants a daughter, my wife has a mommy’s boy, and I’m jelly. Your man is dumb bitch misogynist though so if y’all have a daughter….i see daddy issues incoming from his demeanor. NTA at all.
NTA. The way he talks about a daughter, who would be his own child, is him telling you exactly how he sees you and other women. He is a giant misogynist and will never view you as even an equal human being, much less an equal partner.
I’d be less worried about passing his bloodline down and more worried about passing his genes down regardless of the child’s sex.
He sounds like an arsehole.
there’s a better, stronger, happier and healthier guy out there waiting for you to walk into his life. let this current relationship end and dont be afraid. this guy is not good for you. get out now before you do have a baby, this is your chance now.
NTA. This man is an AH.
He’s an AH. Leave and make sure your not pregnant
NTA – he seems to be escalating his behavior. Maybe he’s trying to get you to leave so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy here. Do not marry this man.
Ummm no, run. Get away from this person.
think long and hard about a future w this man and a thousand + days living like this w him.
At any time he could have said thank you so much for coming home. I’m running late, could you make a quick lunch while I’m getting ready? I’ll be done in 10 minutes or less. thank you! I appreciate your help honey.
imagine the difference. now imagine living w that not nice man. you really signing up for that? not even alluding to the fact he will abuse/neglect a daughter. heaven forbid your kid is LGBTQ +! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩exit plan time
NTA. He sounds like an awful man child, not to mention disgustingly sexist
You do realize that he sees you as inferior right? He clearly sees you as only being there to do things for him. What does he do for you? NTA obviously.
I once asked my dad if he was ever disappointed by the fact he only has daughters. He said not once. That man is a pos
He’s been manosphered, and his views are disgusting. You realise his views on daughters are the same views he holds about you and your inferiority to him, right?
In your position I’d be surprised if I could get over the ick enough in order to make a baby in the first place
Come on, why is this ok to you? Not even once. This is who he is. He is a man who feels like you are s servant, and women are disposable.
Divorce.
Ugh, I really hope this is fake rage bait. Assuming it’s not, he is bad at being a partner and has 0 potential to become a good one. You should get as far from this man as you can, and never look back. Whatever you do, don’t have kids with him.
Do not put a future child through what this man puts you through. Think about it that way.
What a complete man baby. Run far far away.
Little girls are the best, my little one is my favorite person on the planet. Also girls need great dads, and too many grow up without.
Your guy sucks, daughters are amazing, and if he can’t truly love and respect his own hypothetical child that’s a girl he will never love and respect an adult woman.
You’re NTA. His behavior is incredibly disturbing and you should really reconsider if you actually want to marry and have children with this guy. I would not. These issues get worse after marriage, not better.
Sometimes I get amazed after reading some of these stories. Putting it into words doesn’t help you realize the correct plan of action!? Please move on, this will never get better.
How can you even consider marrying this turd? He should be your ex fiancee and you would be much happier being single.
Dam your 22 years old, don’t stay in a relationship where you are totally disrespected like this. It doesn’t get any better so get out now.
You don’t need a baby with this tool. He’s a man baby. Dump him. You’ll have 0 transportation issues and you won’t have to deal with a clueless scrub that doesn’t realize that it’s the male’s sperm that determines the child’s gender at conception anyhow. With his lack of brain cells and total toxic attitude, let’s hope his family line doesn’t go beyond the fly of his jeans.
he’s your FIANCE right? do NOT finish this mistake any further. what a piece of work he is…
NTA. Leave and don’t look back. For gods sake don’t have children with him.
As an aside it may be worth pointing out that it would be his swimmers that choose the sex of any of his future children…
NTA. You are a daughter. So you are a hand-me-down second hand automatic. Get a spine and break up.
There are some huge red flags. I don’t get why you would get engaged to someone like this.
Run away from this person. Ruuuuun!!!!!!
Real men adores daughters. Ashole, mentally disturbed, abusive men have a mindset like your fiance. Ruuuuuun away from this.
Why are you with this AH? Seriously? I would not hitch my life to someone who talked like this, acted like this, and importantly, treated me like this. Please consider that carefully.
NTA here, but YTA to yourself.
And speaking as a man, I loved the idea of having daughters before I had them, still love them after the fact. Huge red flag he talks like that. (like, a real red flag)
Your fiance doesn’t like women 👍
He’s a low quality husband. He sees you as inferior and is already bullying you into being his maid servant. Do yourself a favor and ditch that loser. Nta
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Geez, that is one toxic man. I’d get out of that relationship asap – his behaviour will not get any better with time.
And as for men not wanting daughters; my husband cried from happiness when we found out we were having a girl.
Dont marry this person.
I wanted and got a daughter so no
Sounds like a pretend alpha male. I have 2 daughters, and they are the light of my life. His statement that no men want daughters is a red flag. End his blood line? Really, what kind of misogynist logic is that? He sounds like an idiot, why did you marry this jerk?
WTAF!?
YWBTA to yourself if you marry him and have children with him.
Please call a partner abuse hotline and discuss this. They can help you make a plan to leave if you decide to leave.
Please read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. There’s a free pdf on the internet and the book is in many libraries.
I understand you have a lot of entanglements with him.
Everything will get worse if you marry him because then he’ll have you more trapped.
Then things will get worse again once you have kids. Because you’ll be even more trapped.
Please please please don’t do it.
You need to run. not walk. away from this guy.
NTA – he doesn’t just see a daughter as inferior, he sees being a woman as inferior. Let that sink in. Get out while you can.
> I guess he sees daughters as inferior?
Women. He see’s women as inferior. That’s the issue.
NTA. Find someone who doesn’t despise you.
You need a new fiancé. He is not husband material. If you marry or even get pregnant, you would regret it!
Please take a step back and really evaluate this relationship. This man is abusive. If you have a child with him and it’s a girl, he will abuse her. If you have a boy, they will both abuse you.
You deserve better!
Girl that’s a lot of words to say he’s an awful partner and person ngl
NTA. Take both of your cars, all your stuff, and leave this psycho loser. If you’re not already living together, then even better. Just change the locks on your doors. He sounds awful! It’ll stick to have to cancel any wedding plans you’ve already made, but it’s better to get out BEFORE the wedding, then to marry the wrong person and have to deal with a divorce. Good luck, OP. Update us, please.
This guy is a walking red flag, why are you with him? He sounds like an abusive piece of shit
He clearly despises women. I would suggest not having children of any gender with him, not marrying him and not continuing to let him be in your life.
Please seriously reconsider marrying this man. He sounds really awful. It seems like he’s been watching too much Andrew Tate.
There’s still time to not marry him
NTA. Holy hell the red flags are flapping like crazy here. Just be thankful he showed you his true colors before you actually went through with the wedding. Get out now.
I really hope he is infertile
Divorce, babe. Divorce.
Ironically, he rejects the idea of a daughter, but he apparently wants you to be his second Mom. Ps. Daughters are awesome. And just as good at moving a blood line forward. It’s just his name he’s concerned about.
You need to call this off or your in for a lifetime of this treatment that will most likely escalate. He sounds awful and miserable and like he hates women. Disgusting.