TLDR: My name is on a video of someone who resembles me having intercourse on a beach. It’s not me, but my husband doesn’t seem to believe me. What do I do?
Okay, so for some context, my married name is something like “Catalina Aguirre” (not a hugely unique name in Spanish, but one would probably not come across very many in my country) and I go by something like Cati in most scenarios. (Not an English spelling like Katy)
Last night, my husband sent me a screenshot of a video titled something like “Fun with Cati” and there was a comment that said “Catalina Aguirre exposed!”
This on its own is whatever, and one might not think twice about it but in the screenshot, the woman seemed to be on her hands and knees and the portion of her that you could see had an uncanny resemblance to me! Her hair color and texture, build, skin tone.. I saw it and it made my stomach turn. But I have never been on a beach at night, much less naked having sex!
I’ve pointed out that in the year in which the comment was written, I was not yet married nor had I changed my last name on social media. If I look up my name on facebook, 30+ accounts show up because in the grand scheme of the world, my name is not unique. At the time that I imagine this video was posted, I was about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, so that doesn’t line up.. There was also several years in which I wasn’t able to use nail enhancements because of work, and this girl had her nails done. At around this time, I had inherited a piece of jewelry from a loved one that is notably absent on this girl.
I googled the website the screenshot was taken from, and it appears that the users of this site are mostly concentrated in a continent that is not the one we live in, if that has any relevance..
My husband has known my whereabouts constantly for the last 7 or 8 years, so he must know in his heart that there’s no possible way this could be me. He hasn’t spoken to me in 12 hours, I don’t think he believes me and I’m not sure what to do.. I’m at a loss.
Comments
First question is why is your husband looking at videos of other people having sex?
Even if it was you it was before you are married so why would he care? I think he is projecting slightly and was up to something himself
Well, it appears you’ve discovered a weakness in your husband you didn’t previously know about. Not sure how someone THIS insecure could have hidden it for as long as you have been married.
This is entirely his problem. Tell him to get over himself or resign yourself to the probable end of your marriage due to his insecurity.
So it goes.
This is very sad to hear. You have convinced people on internet that it wasnt you, especially when you say during those days you were 50lbs lighter so it makes no sense that he doesnt believe you. He may have other issues and is using this as an excuse to start a fight.
Turn it around on him and get mad that he’s watching porn.
Well, personally, I think he is just thinking on it and trying to rationalize it in his own mind. He knows it wasn’t you but he’s thinking on the coincidence of the whole thing
Its her.
Did he find it or was he sent it? If he was sent it, then your odds are very high it’s AI and someone trying to mess with your marriage
See if you can look up that woman and show him you have a doppelganger.
He’s having an emotional reaction to finding out this (false) information right now. He’s not thinking straight. You said yourself in a comment that you would react negatively if you found a video you thought was your husband on the internet, too (for what it’s worth, so would I).
Give him a bit of time. 12 hours feels like a lot, but it isn’t. He’ll come around. When y’all do get to talk about it, bring up the logical reasons why it isn’t you, which you’ve outlined in your post already. This will blow over and y’all will be fine and eventually laugh about it. This is no reason to divorce as some others are suggesting and this isn’t proof at all that there’s something wrong with your marriage or that he has any other issues with you.
If he doesn’t believe his own wife, his own memories and logic there’s really nothing you can do but tell him “I’ll wait until you come to your senses and stop acting childish.”
I hope he gets over himself quickly.
Look him in the eyes and speak from the heart. If he loves you, he’ll see the truth in you.
50 lbs. holy cow what happened to you.
Based on what you’ve shared here, your husband should have no problem accepting that it’s not you in the video. I wouldn’t continue trying to convince him of that.
Sounds like he wants to create conflict and is using this video to do it.
Sadly there really isnt much you can do about this situation. You know the truth in ypur heart and thats all that matters. If he cannot come to his senses and get past this, he, or perhaps your relationship, had cracks to begin with. Relationships come down to trust. He needs to trust you are telling the truth, and if he cant, the relationship wasnt worth saving anyway. He has to trust you 99-100% and believe you or it wont work.
“The girl I was jerking off to looked like you >:( you whore!”
Please share the video so we can make a fair assessment of your issue and give you the best possible advice 😅
He’s an idiot. The dead give away on these occasional doppelgängers on the internet is almost always a timing problem. “Oh I was not even Named Aguirre back then!” Or “Bro, for that to be you, you’d have to be 50 year old now.” Just silly.
You sit him down or stand in front of him, and you make all the points you made here about how it’s not you (weight, nails, all of it). If you’ve already stated this to him, doesn’t matter, state it all again matter of factly and with a stern voice. Then you say “I don’t care anymore why or why not you are not able to process this and understand the reality that this person is not me. What I care about is the fact you are treating me poorly and giving me the cold shoulder for something that has nothing to do with me. I’m not going to tolerate being made to feel like crap for something I didn’t do. If you can’t get over this, go see a psychologist or therapist, but stop taking it out on me. Do you not trust me? Are you projecting because of something you’ve done yourself? Because whatever the reason, this right here is not acceptable, and it’s your problem that you need to deal with.”
That is the last I would be willing to say on the issue, it would not be up for discussion, and I’d be giving him the cold shoulder right back until he apologized.
Dude, this happened to me but not with a husband. I got a call that my sister was coming over at like 11 at night and wouldn’t say why. Usually when someone says someone else looks like you you’re not likely to see what they see. Evidently my brother in law came in the bedroom rattled and teary eyed. My sister bolted up because her husband isn’t the crying type. He just said “I found something I shouldn’t have.” Over and over. When my sister hit play on this video my innards felt like they hit the ground under me. I have very unique hair and I’m 6ft tall with prominent dimples. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It took the woman speaking to unlock my trance. She had a Scottish accent but talk about an out of body experience LITERALLY!
Never thought I would run into anybody else with this type of story. He will chill. It’s an odd thing to try and describe. I’m sorry
From what you’re saying it’s clearly obvious it’s not you. If it’s obvious to a complete stranger it’s not you, I don’t understand why your husband don’t see it. Does he have a history of being unreasonable?
Even if it was real he’s known you for 7 years so this shouldn’t be an issue
I am curious, why one fine day he would want to google your (very common) name and specifically look at nsfw results? Can you think of someone who would want to harm your reputation generally or destroy your relationship? Has your husband seen the video and sent you the screenshot or is the screenshot all he has? Google search results don’t necessarily give you screenshots of videos with comments. Post it on r/RBI, see what they have to say.
It is AI and you can contact the company and ask to take it down. If they don’t get a lawyer and sue their ——.
Why is he needing to look at P*rn anyway. Some men are just ridiculous!