Me and my husband have been together for 6 years and married for 2. Ever since we got married he’s been subscribing to women on OF, hiding his phone and messages, downloading tons of X communication apps and talking to lots of women online. He says I overreacted to getting upset bout it. Said if the roles were in reverse he wouldn’t have been mad. I got upset, I got petty. I asked okay, if it’s like that then why don’t I just sleep with other men since you asking for meet ups. He said oh okay I’ll drop you off somewhere so you can shut up about it.
I think this is cheating and that this is so disgusting how he’s treating me bout it. Lying bout it and hiding it. But he just keeps brushing it off. Shuts down with communication… Like I’m really lost on what to do now bc like I just feel so unloved and betrayed and he just doesn’t even care… Like do I just give up on this marriage now… Like I just feel like my time has been wasted and he doesn’t care.
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What the fuck, he has a porn addiction.
Sorry that’s happening to you. It’s fucked up
Your husband is a dipshit
Leave. You deserve so much better.
He’s a dick. The answer is leave, unless you want to deal with this on and off forever.
Start enjoying dating apps and get some attention so you can see that there are better men available to you if you leave.
And if he doesnt like it…. oh well lmao
Advice: get screenshots, email them to yourself, use them in the divorce and send them to his family.
He doesn’t “think” you overreacted. He’s just deliberately downplaying what he did to make you question yourself. Stop playing his games.
Blink twice if you need us to come rescue you.
Sorry this has been going on 2 years?
You need to leave. Yes it sucks you wasted that time with him, so don’t waste another day.
This is not your guy.
Why do I suspect this isn’t something he started after marriage? How long were you dating? You never had discussions about him using social media to contact women?
If you don’t like it and he isn’t willing to change his behavior, there’s only two solutions: accept it or leave.
Honestly it feels if he’s not cheating right now he’s a step away from cheating I wouldn’t stand for that shit me and my girlfriend are long distance and even though she’s not here to like check my phone or whatever I would still never disrespect her by messaging other women and paying for women on only fans
Paying for photos on OF is bad enough but messaging women, (and spending that much money) is cheating. Doesn’t matter if it was only online.
This is definitely cheating and 100% a deal breaker. Especially due to the hiding and his attitude. I would show him how serious this is by either you staying with your parents or friends for a while. I dont understand why he needs to message these women when he LIVES WITH A WOMEN HE SHOULD BE COMMITTED TO. I would definitely start organising things and get a lawyer so you can leave him. He really doesn’t deserve you.
The divorce came out of nowhere…
If your reaction wasn’t divorce papers, you under reacted.
Sorry, but if he thinks this is ok and still married you, then I get the sense that in his mind your marriage exists largely for the physical manifestation of his fantasy hyper-sexual world. This dude is a slob, and it sounds like you already know that.
Cheating is not a one size fits all definition. Some people think porn is being unfaithful, some are excited to watch their partner fuck strangers. However, being disrespectful to the boundaries your partner has for the relationship IS. You’ve expressed that you’re not okay with it. That should be enough. If he isn’t willing to respect that, walk. This isn’t something that you two can meet in the middle of. Whether he has been physically unfaithful or just loves the thrill of other women, he’s told you he won’t stop. I’d make him eat his words, let the girly pops he’s messaging have him, and take the extra $300 next month and have a spa day. Or a male strip club.
Holy shit. Just leave him. No other options for you. He actively doesn’t care what he’s doing to you.