My husband who I love the most has become this mean and rude person

I’m 27 F and he’s a 31M, we got married in 2023 after being crazy in love. He was just too nice, said all the right things and was there to pull me out of some of the darkest times in my life. He is literally the only friend I have.

Now we have a son who is 8 months old with me being 9 weeks pregnant again. We didn’t plan this pregnancy, it just happened and I’m physically having a really hard time. This is what he doesn’t understand. He taunts me on everything. When I breathe, when I sit with a sigh because I have this excruciating pain in my back. He just laughs or mocks. It just hurts me a lot to see him turn this way.

He was this really loving guy who would talk about the moon and the stars, but now, we barely ever talk. He makes this face when he looks at me, if he’s not telling me how bad of a mother I am, he’s making that face which makes me feel like I’m a person who nobody wants to look at. And the heartbreaking part is, he used to look at me with love.

I feel like I’m gonna die, because I feel so alone. He loves our son but he says I don’t put in the effort for our son even when I’m doing everything I can in my power to. I love my kid but I’m just very tired all the time and throwing up constantly. But I still do everything for him but he fails to see. He has never said I’m a bad mom out loud but he makes me feel like it everytime he says anything. And then he says but I have never called you a bad mom.

I’m literally crying writing this but is it my fault? How do I get more energy to be everything he wants be to me? I want to be happy I deserve to be happy but it’s just not fair I think.

If only I started looking at him the way he looks at me, maybe he would understand, but idk what to do. He said the other day that in this pregnancy he’s not going to have empathy towards me and tbh, he’s acting upon it every day. I just feel so depressed and I want a beacon of light in my life. I don’t think I’m okay, I have Suicidal thoughts but I can’t tell him that because we aren’t there anymore.

I cook for him, I take care of the baby but he rips out my heart everytime he speaks to me. He hates me, I confronted him, but he said he doesn’t he just wants me to step up as a mother because I’m the nurturing one but how do I tell him that I’m doing what I can. How do I tell him that every pregnancy is different. I wasn’t healed from the last one and I’m here gwtting the worst of it in this one.

I think I’m losing at life, I just feel like the worst human possible, and tbh, I feel like I can’t talk to him about anything anymore. I don’t know what to do. Please be kind to me guys, tell me what should I do. I want to save this marriage because he’s the love of my life and I can’t live without him.

Tl;dr my husband things I’m a bad mother and makes me feel like shit when I’m doing everything I can while being 9 weeks pregnant.