My husband’s (28M) birthday is tomorrow and we are currently in the thick of the worst handful of weeks. I broke my foot two weeks ago and he’s been pulling all the weight in the home, which has been a struggle, on top of caring for me. Yesterday, we had our dog of nine years pass away completely unexpectedly. The only thing he really wanted to do was Jujitsu, but now that isn’t happening tomorrow. I already got him the birthday present of his dreams, but this whole week just feels all wrong.
Any ideas of things I could do (I can’t drive currently) that may help the day feel more special?
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Ah man, that sounds tough AF. So sorry bout your doggo mate, really sucks. Maybe you guys could have like a DIY at-home spa day? I know it ain’t jujitsu, but some chill time might be what he needs, just a thought. And hey, don’t sweat it too much, the fact you care this much already makes it special. Hang in there! 💪
Maybe ask him how he’s doing/feeling and let him vent some frustrations while giving him a hug?
I know simple gestures like that make me feel far more loved than getting a gift.
You know what you need to do…
You’re both grieving and managing so much it’s okay if the day is more about closeness and acknowledgment than “fun.” And you can always celebrate again later, when you’re both in a better place emotionally and physically.
The Jujitsu plans being cancelled is the part that caught me. When going through stuff, a run or shooting some hoops helps me get some space from things and release some stress. Maybe offering to do an activity that kind of does the same might be a good idea. I know your foot being broke limits what can be done. I’m assuming you’re on one foot with crutches. Maybe go to a movie. If you guys have done crafts before, maybe painting. Make him a playlist you guys can relax/drink/listen/etc to. You sound like a good partner, so regardless of what you choose to do, I’m sure your support and care will make the day pleasant.
Home cooked meal and a bj make everything better.
If you have kids, a hand made card from them.
Rewatch whatever movies he’s into and if he tells you some behind the scenes shit you gotta act interested.
How bout genuinely hugging him and showing him you think he’s the greatest guy in the world. Tell him you appreciate him. Sounds like you got a keeper!
If you have to postpone a celebration, don’t forget it.
A little move I can up down up down twist twist lick should do the trick!
Can you order his favorite food for dinner? Use paper plates so no clean up. Order silly stuff to his office if he goes ( funny mug, box of candy, whatever). Just make the day lighthearted as much as you can.
sloppy toppy. always works
What a tough week. So sorry that it has been rough for you both.
Dinner from his favorite restaurant? See a movie in the theater that he’s wanted to see? Book a massage for him?
Arrange to have him catch you in bed with his best friend. When he realizes it’s a hoax, he’ll be relieved.
No?
I don’t know what the male equivalent of spa day. You can try that. Or invite his friends over for game night and order food.
Obviously you know your husband best, but if my dog passed a few days ago, the last thing I’d want is sex — of any kind. I’d just want to be taken care of. Favorite meals, time with friends and family, maybe a spa day or board game night, just lots of cozy activities. Also maybe you could Instacart groceries and stuff like that to set him up for an easier week ahead?
I’m really sorry that you both are going through such a rough patch right now, but he’s lucky to have a thoughtful partner by his side!