From the moment I had kids, my in-laws excluded me. On my first Mother’s Day with two children, everyone exchanged gifts, except me. The last Christmas I spent there, the only gift I got was from my nephew. My MIL even lied to child services, saying I was “crazy” and fed my kids “like animals,” all because I didn’t conform to their rules.
A year before the blow-up, we had already said my SIL Felicia (37F) was not allowed around our kids(because she was actively trying to insert herself as my daughters mother), but my in-laws still snuck her around them anyway, showing us they didn’t care about our boundaries. Then the final straw came: Felicia physically attacked me while I was holding my 18-month-old because I told my FIL not to force kisses on my kids’ lips. My MIL stood there and let it happen. Later, they told my husband they would “always stand by Felicia,” even if it meant abandoning him. Also about 3 weeks ago MIL finally reached out to me to try to “fix” things, I was met with no accountability and her pretending she didn’t actually witness what happened(even though my husband also witnessed it, he couldn’t get to me and our son fast enough). They told everyone in the family I attacked Felicia even though I physically couldn’t have. I was holding my son in one arm and my diaper bag in the other, and they ALL watched me walk out of the room with my arms full.
We have been extremely low/no contact since the attack. Now, a year later Felicia is getting married. She’s met a “good guy.” Hubby has specifically stated he would never go to her wedding, she burned the bridge. So what does MIL do? Sent a wedding invite, to Felicia’s wedding, addressed only to my husband. Not me, not our kids, just him. (Mind you this was weeks after him saying never). After everything, they think he would want to celebrate the sister who assaulted his wife and child. How delusional can you actually be to think he’d go and “pretend” to be a happy family with them for pictures and appearances?
Edit for clarity: A few people have asked why we didn’t involve the police. My FIL is a retired cop, and at the time my husband felt it was safer for us as a family to just leave to protect me and our kids. I followed up with medical care right after, so it’s documented and I have spoken with legal counsel.
Comments
I think your husband is being tested or mil thinks she is being ‘the bigger person’ and giving your husband the ‘chance to change his mind’. Yes, I do agree she is that delusional and a few other choice words. I think this should be the last time/straw, go no contact vs low contact now. She has clearly shown you that you and the kids are not welcome, so give her want she wants. No drama, which she is wanting. Ask no question, make no comments. Whatever the reasoning, your husband just needs to rsvp NO and be done.
It’s a power play .
Your in laws think they still are in control . The invite is a way to either taunt you ( hence why the invite is addressed to your husband only as in a way to exclude you further and make you appear as the troublemaker and the one breaking up the family ) or appear as the ones trying to mend the situation , “agitating the white flag “ sending a wedding invite to their son for the crazy SIL’s wedding .
Tells your husband to not answer to the invite , let the answer be his complete silence and him not showing up at all on the big day .
This will be a bigger statement and slapped in the face to your in laws , than if he reply that he is not coming , because that’s exactly what they want for your husband to make a move and reach out to them again to give his reply .
Your sil physically attacked attacked with a toddler on your arms. Why did you or your husband not call the cops rt then? She also has been actively trying to replace you as your daughter’s mother. YOU ARE NOT SAFE! YOUR KIDS AREN’T SAFE. Your in laws said they’ll make her no matter what even at the cost of your husband. The three of them do not deserve your energy (other than a visit to the cops to report SIL) or attention. You throw the invite away and block all three of them and go NC. Whatever family believes their nonsense also go NC with.
Sounds like the husband should get his torch again, there’s another bridge to burn.
I would never speak to someone who lies about me being physically assaulted. Ship sailed, MIL.
Don´t even rsvp to this, this is insulting to your husband and shouldn´t even be aknowleged at all
The thing is olive branches can be extended…but you don’t have to accept them. I’d just send back an rsvp no and say a wedding is not the time to undo damage caused and when they are ready to reach out with accountability you will look forward to making steps in the right direction to rebuilding a meaningful relationship based on mutual respect