I’ve spent several years of my life hoping to one day experience exactly what I have right now. I’m in university working towards a degree I’m passionate about, I have a stable job, I have a beautiful, supportive family who love and care about me, I’m in a happy, loving relationship, I have great friends and I’m in good health. It’s quite literally all anyone can ask for, yet I still can’t seem to enjoy any of it because I’m constantly overwhelmed with anxiety.
I used to think back when I was a lot younger and struggling with my mental health that it was the worse it would ever get, but now I’m dealing with something that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It’s this constant anxiety, with intrusive thoughts, and a sickening fear of death. It’s almost like I’m not even real, my days all blend together and I can barely even remember what happened in my week. I can’t even fall asleep most nights because I’m terrified I won’t wake up in the morning. I feel the need to be with my boyfriend or family 24/7 in case anything bad happens to me, or them. All in all, this is debilitating, I can’t live a life like this and I’m scared what will happen if this all continues.
I just can’t understand it, nothing is wrong, everything is going great, yet here I am, always worrying if today is my last day. I often experience physiological symptoms, heart palpitations, headaches, severe fatigue etc. and I get an intense urge to go to the ER because this must be it, but you guessed, a few minutes later and I’m fine. It’s just destroying me, this was all I ever wanted and I feel like I’m losing all the joy and excitement of it to my own mind.
I don’t know what this is, I’ve tried getting a referral to a psychiatrist but I have to wait 3 months for an appointment. How do I fix this? I’m at the point where I feel like I need meds it’s that bad. I just want some kind of relief, I’m so tired of feeling this way.
Comments
Anxiety doesn’t care if your life is perfect. Get therapy ASAP, try breathing exercises meanwhile.
This isn’t weakness it’s high-functioning anxiety masking as a good life, and it’s suffocating you from the inside out. You need help now, not in three months push for a faster referral, talk to your GP about meds, and stop telling yourself you should feel happy just because things look good on paper.
There is an herb called kava that is helpful with anxiety. I suggest you give it a try.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Kava/