I’m 19m, my little sister is 12, and our older sister is 26. Over a year ago was when my little sister was diagnosed with leukemia. ofc it hit everyone super hard, and i wanted to help her and my family. but, this was around the same time i was supposed to be moving out for my university. i had a lot of options, especially in state, but i decided to go out of state. my mom and my older sister encouraged me to go, and that they would have it handled. so, i left.
fast forward a few months, and i’m having the worst time of my life in my university. not only did some really fucked up shit happen to me, but i was struggling a bit financially. even though my omma/ my older sister are i’d say pretty well off, i didn’t wanna ask for their help. luckily, the following months i would make a lot of friends ands develop a lot of good relationships with people in the city. and now, i’m comfortable living where i live.
this past week however, i visited my family and my sister for the first time since initially leaving. currently, my sister is undergoing chemo, so it’s been rough for her. it’s been rough for everyone. but, when i saw my family, they all greeted me with love and care. i know why, but i felt guilty as soon as i saw them. with my little sister, my guilt was at its worst.
she’s doing the best she can, and she’s God damn strong for withstanding all of the treatment she has been going through. i’ll play games with her or read stories to her or watch videos with her whenever i can, and she’s so happy. she’s never once cried when i was around, and she’s done nothing but laugh and smile when i see her.
but, i know that’s not what her condition is like. it’s not all good. it’s getting better, and my family is telling me to not worry and to go back to my university soon, but it’s still worrisome. i’d be able to transfer universities closer to home out of my current university. however, i’ve already made a lot of relationships and promises to people in my university. my girlfriend is from there as well.
i feel like the decision should be easy, but it’s not. should i stay in my current university or transfer closer to my family?
Comments
It’s a decision only you can make.
I’d transfer back in a heartbeat, personally. The next time you see your sister she might be in a coffin.
You should do what’s best for you. Your loved one will be in the hands of their doctors. Maybe you can remain in contact with them for emotional support. Focus on your career.
In life, there are many things that can happen,. We must not lose focus on our purpose in life.
It’s cliche. But the only right answer is the one that is inside your heart. This isn’t a decision that anyone else could make. Especially not strangers on the internet.
Personally, if I was in this painful situation, I would return home to be closer to my family. But that’s because there is nothing more important in my life to me than my family.
Whatever decision you make though. Make sure that it’s for yourself. I wish you and your family the best of luck! Your sister sounds like an incredible fighter and that fight inside her will get her through this!!
You cannot put your life on hold because your sister is sick and less with a good prognosis.
Don’t feel guilty. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do
Transfer back closer to home. Please. As a big brother with a sibling who is 7 and 8 years younger than me, I would be there if I were in your situation. Just my perspective.
If you don’t do that, then at least try to visit
You’re family wants to see you happy and healthy. Your sister is in good hands. She will have her good days as well as her bad days. What you’re doing is what your parents prayed would happen when they found out omma was pregnant. You’re living your best life and they know that if they or your sister needs you you’d be there in a heartbeat, and bringing your gf with you. Stay where you’re at, learn what you can, be consistent with reaching out to all of them by video chat and know that you have a lot to be thankful for
It won’t make any difference to your sister’s prognosis whether you are in state or further away. Your Mom and sister will get lots of support during her treatment from professionals, other family and friends. You have a circle of support right now at your current school, so I think you should stay there. If your family needs your support, they will let you know.
Kids with cancer also enjoy spending time with people who are not part of their treatment routine. Your visit likely provides some relief and a nice distraction for her. You can focus on school and lean on your friends, and then when your family needs you at home, you will have the energy to support them and be the strong one.
You are the only one that can answer this question. But let me tell you from somebody who lost somebody while living away from home you will never get that time back if the worst would happen. My 5-year-old nephew was in remission when I got an opportunity to move to the other side of the country. I did so and six weeks after I arrived we got word. His cancer was back worse than ever and was now terminal. Everybody told me do what’s best for me stay it’s a good opportunity etc. Etc. nine months later I got a call to say it’s only a couple of weeks away so I flew straight home and he passed away five days later if I could go back I would definitely have come home more opportunities. Would’ve come up but to lose that nine months with him, I can never get that back.
Please don’t take my nephew’s journey as the norm because he had one of the hardest childhood cancers to cure .
I wish your little sister the very best with her treatment and as I said, only you can make this decision. And neither decision is right or wrong.. nothing wrong with FaceTime in your little sister every day. Sending much love from Melbourne Australia.
The important thing imo is to have life as normal as possible for your sister. If you come back home, little sister might think you know something she doesn’t know, such as a bad prognosis. Spend lots of quality time with her and, if she can, why not invite her and your family over to your university town to see how you live? Normal life is what I’ll people crave. They do not want to be defined by their illness. It already steals too much of their life and waking thoughts. Involve her in setting up this visit and give her something wonderful to think about.
Stay at your university. Find different cool ways to connect with your sister regularly and visit as often as you can. Does she like video games? Play online. Video calls, join a discord party with headsets and watch a movie together, a favorite one of hers so you can talk while you do. Life is hard sometimes. Your family loves you and they know you love them. Keep making them proud and keep loving them. They didn’t ask you to come home, take their advice.
I think you should stay where you are. Your sister is in good hands and there’s not much more you can do for her. Like someone else said here maybe she can come visit you at university?
Honestly, you sound like you need validation for your decision.
You sound like you have guilt and you just want us to validate your decision, well..
I’m not, as a brother that lost family members in similar situation, I can tell you that your little sister and your older sister probably resent you, I checked your history and your sister text definitely confirms it (but you already know that). There’s nothing that we can say to you that will change that.
This is a post about your sister but you wrote one full paragraph about how your life is hard some fucked off stuff happen to you and somehow your older sister is somehow well off but you made good friend so you’re all good now you “forgot” about the situation? You don’t sound very sorry but “Well bad stuff also happen to me so Im ok”
I’m not going to sugar coat this, you sound like a selfish person and just looking for a “you’re good buddy, keep doing what you’re doing”. No, your sister is not good, and I read your text to your older sister in your profile
There’s a difference between “I got accepted at MIT/Yale for this program that take the best 1% of the country” vs “I went to a university to study psychology”. Sounds to me that you’re 19, you could’ve gone to community college, you probably still taking intro to math and english only.
But since this is “Advice”, go back home, take community college classes, spend time with your sisters. You can live your “college” life later. She doesn’t have much “later”