Two days ago my mom informed me she found out that this online friend my little sister (13F) has been talking to since 2023, is most likely way older than he says he is, which has become a reason for concern.
My mom came across their messages on my sister’s computer by accident. She had known of this online friend’s existence, but she had been under the impression that he’s my sister’s age and that they met on some online game. But after reading some of their messages, it became clear that he’s no way 13. After my mom tried to casually ask about it yesterday, my sister adamantly admitted that he had “just turned 18”. Which in itself is already incredibly weird, because my sister is a minor and hasn’t lied about her age to him, but from their messages, it doesn’t seem that he’s even “just 18”, but instead much older (talking about his work at an office, sending pictures of a new car he bought etc.)
On top of all this , my sister is convinced she’s in love with him and he’s in love with her. Sounds maybe silly, but she is young and impressionable, and this grown man constantly feeding her these delusions is frankly disgusting as well as concerning.
As far as we know, he does necessarily want anything from her (e.g. pictures or money or whatever), and their conversations aren’t in any way sexual. He says he is from a different country, and they only text in english (not our native language). He rarely sends his pictures, but my sister says she has seen how he looks like. He follows her instagram, but his account is private.
My sister doesn’t know that we know all this. She just knows that we know she has an online friend.
My mom, me (23F), and my brother (18M) have no idea how to navigate this situation, so any advice would be welcome. Obviously we want that guy gone, but we dont know how to make it happen. It’s just a very delicate situation. My sister is convinced they’re in love with each other, and she is also struggling with mental problems occasionally, so just cutting him off cold turkey is not an option, in fear of what she might do to herself.
I know it’s a weird situation, but if anyone has any ideas, please share, and thank you.
Comments
This is dangerous; your sister is being emotionally manipulated by a grown man, and every second you wait gives him more control. Step in now, gently but firmly, because protecting her heart might just save her future.
some ppl take the nuclear option to deal with this, and it might be warranted. IT won’t spare her feelings but it would change her behavior
This is grooming. Even if it’s not sexual yet, it’s manipulative and dangerous. Save proof, report him, and gently help your sister see what’s happening. She needs support, not shame but this guy needs to go.