Like the title says, my gf doesn’t care about my sexual needs at all.
We’ve been dating since 18 & 20 and in that time we’ve been intimate maybe 15/20x?
The last time we’ve been intimate was 5 weeks ago, the time before that 11.
I can’t take it anymore. She doesn’t want to have sex, no mouth stuff, no handstuff nothing. When we do something she enjoys it and keeps saying we gotta do it more often, but she’s just never in the mood after it. Even when we do it once she is done she lets me finish myself.
I’ve tried everything. Giving her space, letting her initiate, taking her to romantic places, changing my body, talking to her about it, asking if I’m doing something wrong, trying to take it slow, trying to plan a day for it, trying to do it spontaneously. Just nothing works.
She keeps telling me she doesn’t know what wrongs, but it has been like that for more than 2 years. I’ve adviced that maybe she could get some professional help from her gynaecologist or a therapist but she doesn’t want to ask them because “It’s embarassing”
I don’t know what to do anymore, and I actually feel like I should break up. I understand my drive is a hit high (i could do it 2/3x a week) but hers is just too low, and she’s showing no efforts to improve it.
Other than the sex the relationship is amazing. We support each other, help eachother out, can talk about everything, have the same hobbies and more, but the intimate part just sucks..
Anyone has any advice what I could do? I don’t want to lose her but I can’t live like this anymore either.
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accept this or move on.
I suggest move on. you are not well suited.
If you stay, you’ll become more and more frustrated, and that’s not fair to her or you. She’s not going to change. Can you truly accept things as they currently are and not be unhappy?
This sounds really frustrating. Does your girlfriend struggle with her mental health? Depression and anxiety can really get in your head and ruin your sex drive.
Also, does she usually finish ? Often women are lose interest or don’t see the point in sex if it’s not pleasurable enough for them. Maybe you need to focus more on this aspect?
She’s a terrible and selfish lover move on
I’d leave ngl
That’s so selfish wow. I cannot being to imagine having sex with my bf and then just leaving when im done letting him finish on his own wtf. My partner finishing is at least 50% of the enjoyment because I care about him and want to make him feel good. Hell, many many times I will just get him off whenever without even asking for anything in return.
Also 2-3x times a week isn’t anywhere remotely near high drive. Not sure what you should do but to me that’s so selfish.
Break up. 2/3 times a week is not high, or even unreasonable at all. She just doesn’t like sex, apparently, and if it’s this bad now, it’s only going to get even worse over time. Just break up with her and find someone who you’re more sexually compatible with. You’re still SO young… just move on, no need for you to keep suffering in a relationship that’s making you unhappy.
2-3x a week for a male in his 20s is not a high drive. This will not get better, find someone who matches your sex drive.
I would break up. The two of you just aren’t compatible.
Don’t make yourself miserable bro
Sexual incompatibility. I’d suggest you move on, after all you said you can’t live like this anymore.
Just seems like you’re sexually incompatible. People have varying sex drives, and having a higher or lower one doesn’t make anyone weird or selfish or whatever, it just means you should probably find someone more similar to you if that’s something you value
Yeah no. Gotta go bro
She may have a hormonal imbalance, but you mentioned no other health or mood issues and hormone imbalances that cause low libido usually come with other symptoms so I could be reaching. Some people are just less sexual and that’s ok, but they shouldn’t be paired up with someone who is more sexual because the imbalance is unfair for both. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship but it’s significant and if she’s not your wife it’s hard to advise you to continue struggling through the issue—You are young enough to cut your losses and move on. Sometimes investments don’t turn out how we envisioned or planned and it can be hard to stomach. If you’ve had the conversations, made it known and clear, asked for change and still no effort, my advice would be to look inwardly and ask yourself what you really want in a longterm partner and why you’re staying. If these self-probing questions lead to the conclusion to end the relationship, then that is the right move to make, however hard or painful. I hope you find clarity and confidence in your decision, whichever way you decide.
This is not normal and she doesn’t want to change you need to leave or decide that’s the life you want
Is she perhaps on the asexual spectrum? That’s not going to change. Suggest she does some research, be supportive and don’t neglect your own feelings.
Run bro, if she doesn’t care about ANY of your needs/desires. Real love is found in serving and fulfilling your partner.
You can’t force someone to be a good fit. She’s either willing to work on herself or you will grow to resent her. That’s not good for either of you. You need to decide if you want this for the rest of your life. Then, talk to her about it like an adult.
Be great friends, take the sex out of the equation, and go find a girlfriend
Bud you’re fighting the oldest battle of mankind. When a man’s woman continually says no to sex, he will definitely find it elsewhere. Then you have a whole new set of problems.
Your relationship is still very young and she’s pulling this shit now. What do you think will happen in year 4 or 5…good luck.
My advice to you is focus on something besides sex