My girlfriend has been babysitting for a family since the boy was 6, he is now 13. She’s known the mom for a while, as she had been doing my girlfriend’s hair since she was a kid.
She said a long time ago, before we started dating that the dad was in love with her and I just kind of took it as a joke. But as time goes on I’m starting to believe it.
The whole thing seems odd to me and maybe I’m wrong but that’s just how I feel.
The dad has told her that she’s a beautiful girl, that any guy would be lucky to have her. He leaves her extra money even when she’s just dog sitting. He pays her a lot of money when she does babysit. He’s paid for her to get things she’s needed for her car. He buys her gifts (the wife knows about any gifts) And I don’t know, having a babysitter for your 13 year old just doesn’t seem like the thing most parents do.
I’ve brought this up to her and she seems defensive. While she admits it’s odd she says they are like her family, which I understand. But an Uncle or Grandpa saying and doing all that is different than the father of the kid you babysit. She also told me that he hasn’t said anything since he’s known about her having a boyfriend, which to me seems kind of weird, I don’t know maybe over thinking.
She’s lied to me once in the past with someone she was talking to, granted we weren’t dating but the lies continued for 3 or 4 days until I caught her in so many she just had to tell the truth. So now I do have some trust issues with her but we are working on them.
Would you find this situation a little weird? Any advice on what to do to ease my mind would be appreciated.
UPDATE – We are having a slight argument and this was sent to me from my girlfriend “how he acts towards me is weird, but you’re letting insecurities get in the way because of how another man is perceiving me and that isn’t fair to me, i shouldn’t have to be subjected and punished because of how he is”
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So she’s been babysitting them since she was 14? And now the kid is 13? That doesn’t make sense, why would the kid need a babysitter when she was his age at the start? And also, if she was that young while the dad was in love with her, that’s so pedophilic and alarming. Even if she was just joking, that’s a strange and dangerous joke to make. Very odd situation, you are right to be skeptical and wary of this. I think it’s weird that she accepts secret gifts and help anyway, and then makes “jokes” of him being in love with her.
I am going against the grain because I think your gf is likely thought of as a family friend.
And also I think 13 year old boy and 14 year old girl are at quite different maturity levels. Adolescent girls are 2.5 years more mature than adolescent boys. My daughter babysat my 13/14 year old nephew along with his younger sister. She was there primarily for the niece of course but 1) they didn’t trust him to babysit his sister and 2) they had rules for him and didn’t trust he would follow (example amount of time he was allowed to game plus where and who he was allowed to be with).
Plus she is 21 and it isn’t up to you to make decisions about what is right for her to do with her life. This is her call. You trust her or you don’t so make up your mind.