Sorry if the title is triggering but wasn’t sure the post would be put up with no details.
Found this out last night after being together for 2 years and living together with our 4 kids that she was sexually abused from the ages of around 7-13. The reason I’m making this post is that my children often go over her mother’s house (they are still together as she never told her about it) and have slept over as well.
I know it’s an extremely difficult thing to talk about and she’s never told anyone but the fact she endangered my girls (F7 and 9) by letting them sleep at his house knowing what he did has made me so angry. Even worse that she lets her own daughters (F10 and 13) sleep over there and have done from a young age. I’ve only met them a few times and got very weird vibes and fairly sure he abuses her mother as well.
Trying to process things right now and can’t think straight so could people give me some advice please.
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Nope. I would be done.
I would stop all visits. Do your daughters have a trusted person that can ask them if anything inappropriate happened? They might be reluctant to talk to parents. It’s not uncommon for predators to threaten family members to control their victims.
Take your kids and run. Tell her kids if they need help you’re there for them. Mean it. She knowingly willing put your kids in harms way, not little harm, RAPE harm. At this point her trauma is irrelevant, it’s the kids that matter. You can’t rebuild that trust.
Your girlfriend needs intensive therapy. And you have to step in and keep your children safe because she either doesn’t recognize that letting young girls sleep over at her abuser’s home is wrong and dangerous, or she doesn’t care. Either way, your children and hers are not safe at their grandmother’s home.
Your children and hers need to be seen by a doctor and a therapist asap. He may have abused them already. Please have a professional question them and don’t do it yourself. They may not feel safe answering you honestly and this needs to be handled the right way to prevent trauma (or more trauma).
I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your girls.
No this is dead wrong she should have told you. And she willingly let her kids stay with a person who sexually abused her. She’s almost asking for yalls kids to get molested. Take the kids this is divorce worthy.