i don’t post on reddit but i love listening to the podcast and this just happened today when i was leaving work. i (f18) work as a server as a popular chain resturant in the US, and have a manager (m 25ish?) i’ll call adam. i started working here at the beginning of the year and he was the one to interview me – there are 4 managers in total at my job. adam and i have always had a friendly work relationship, and it’s one of the reasons i’ve loved the job. everyone here is super friendly and it makes working here so much better.
on occasion, adam has noticed changes in my hair and makeup and complimented them or called me cute, but given english isnt his first language (the people at my job predominantly speak spanish) and i never really thought into it, although did find it strange my manager complimenting me in that way. during the day when we work together hes always helpful and we often exchange friendly banter during the day.
the first time i worked a closing shift he was the manager in charge and i asked him at the end of the night (12:30am) to walk me to my car for safety reasons. he was a bit confused as he was never asked that before, but did, and from then on even if i leave earlier in the night i dont even have to ask him, its commonplace for him to walk me to my car. recently ive noticed hes started walking fully to my car and waiting to go back into the restaurant until i drive off, which is sweet, but again, a newer development that ive picked up on.
today, i worked the lunch shift, and adam was busy in the kitchen and in the back for most of my shift. he always greets me when i come in and will playfully give me a hard time if i don’t say hi, and before i left today he was helping me fix the hand stamper i got for kids who come in. overall, he’s a nice guy and a great person to be working under. but, once i clocked out, i said goodbye to the 3/4 managers that were in, and adam came out of the office and gave me a hug? to say goodbye?this is something that’s never happened. it got me thinking about how overly friendly he’s been in the past, and i also realized that yesterday he got my insta. i was showing my coworkers my nails and he told me his girlfriend is starting to do nails and to follow her, so he gave me her instagram. but, then he gave me his and had me follow him and followed me back. my work environment definitely isn’t strict against this, i have multiple coworkers on insta, but i do find it a bit strange for a manager to request that.
ive had weird and creepy situations with coworkers in the past so i may just be hypervigilant, but hugging me today was definitely new. i don’t want to think anything bad of him, i don’t think adam is trying to be creepy exactly, just has maybe crossed a few boundaries?
like i said, he has a girlfriend, and my boyfriend and i actually eat at the restaurant i work at all the time since we live nearby. adam always greets us and talks to my boyfriend, and always talks with me for a while if i come in to eat. at one point, adam even jokingly suggested my boyfriend work there. yesterday when we went in to eat after my shift he was super excited to see us and dapped up my boyfriend and said something along the lines of “i missed you man!”
i obviously don’t think he’s trying to do anything, but him hugging to me has me thinking about things a lot. calling me
cute, walking me to my car, hugging me, it doesn’t seem like things a manager would do with his employees? i’m not sure. am i overthinking it all?
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Backup of the post’s body: i don’t post on reddit but i love listening to the podcast and this just happened today when i was leaving work. i (f18) work as a server as a popular chain resturant in the US, and have a manager (m 25ish?) i’ll call adam. i started working here at the beginning of the year and he was the one to interview me – there are 4 managers in total at my job. adam and i have always had a friendly work relationship, and it’s one of the reasons i’ve loved the job. everyone here is super friendly and it makes working here so much better.
on occasion, adam has noticed changes in my hair and makeup and complimented them or called me cute, but given english isnt his first language (the people at my job predominantly speak spanish) and i never really thought into it, although did find it strange my manager complimenting me in that way. during the day when we work together hes always helpful and we often exchange friendly banter during the day.
the first time i worked a closing shift he was the manager in charge and i asked him at the end of the night (12:30am) to walk me to my car for safety reasons. he was a bit confused as he was never asked that before, but did, and from then on even if i leave earlier in the night i dont even have to ask him, its commonplace for him to walk me to my car. recently ive noticed hes started walking fully to my car and waiting to go back into the restaurant until i drive off, which is sweet, but again, a newer development that ive picked up on.
today, i worked the lunch shift, and adam was busy in the kitchen and in the back for most of my shift. he always greets me when i come in and will playfully give me a hard time if i don’t say hi, and before i left today he was helping me fix the hand stamper i got for kids who come in. overall, he’s a nice guy and a great person to be working under. but, once i clocked out, i said goodbye to the 3/4 managers that were in, and adam came out of the office and gave me a hug? to say goodbye?this is something that’s never happened. it got me thinking about how overly friendly he’s been in the past, and i also realized that yesterday he got my insta. i was showing my coworkers my nails and he told me his girlfriend is starting to do nails and to follow her, so he gave me her instagram. but, then he gave me his and had me follow him and followed me back. my work environment definitely isn’t strict against this, i have multiple coworkers on insta, but i do find it a bit strange for a manager to request that.
ive had weird and creepy situations with coworkers in the past so i may just be hypervigilant, but hugging me today was definitely new. i don’t want to think anything bad of him, i don’t think adam is trying to be creepy exactly, just has maybe crossed a few boundaries?
like i said, he has a girlfriend, and my boyfriend and i actually eat at the restaurant i work at all the time since we live nearby. adam always greets us and talks to my boyfriend, and always talks with me for a while if i come in to eat. at one point, adam even jokingly suggested my boyfriend work there. yesterday when we went in to eat after my shift he was super excited to see us and dapped up my boyfriend and said something along the lines of “i missed you man!”
i obviously don’t think he’s trying to do anything, but him hugging to me has me thinking about things a lot. calling me
cute, walking me to my car, hugging me, it doesn’t seem like things a manager would do with his employees? i’m not sure. am i overthinking it all?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Your generation is doomed
To me it sounds like he’s just being friendly. I’m in the south so people are like this with everyone, we still chat people up in line and give hugs to people we met for the first time.
However! If this is something you’re not comfortable with then you should say so, or if he does it again just say hey I’m not much of a hugger. I’ve become friends with my managers in retail, service, and the corporate world, not unheard of we’re all people. Again it’s whatever you’re comfortable with, if it’s too much it’s okay to back off.
Sounds like a friendly guy, you can unfollow and remove him from your Instagram if it’s not sitting right with you. If you want to establish a boundary you can have a conversation about it, keep it respectful.