Just some background information: My husband and I are Canadian born Indians. We’ve been married for a year. We live in the side suite of my in-laws house. I have a great relationship with my husband’s brother and dad but my mother-in-law is narcissistic and we have a rocky relationship.
My parents are currently in town visiting and I’ve been hanging out with them for the past few days (which my husband is completely fine with and encourages me to spend time with them because I have a tight relationship with them). My in-laws have been aware since yesterday that my parents are coming over to visit them this evening. I said good morning to my MIL this morning and let her know my parents will visit them at 7pm this evening, to which she responds “clean the side suite” and states she is taking their dog out for a walk at that time. I found this quite disrespectful as my parents are taking time to visit my husband’s parents. I made it clear to her that my parents are coming to specifically visit her and her husband, and asked her to walk their dog later or beforehand to which she said ok. In the side suite my husband asked what happened so I explained the situation. She overheard this and started to get involved. I explained that it is disrespectful and began crying. Things took a turn for the worse. She began going off how it’s not a big deal because she always walks their dog at that time, how I’m a disrespectful/bad DIL, how the way my husband talks to her is the reason why I don’t respect her, etc. My husband defended me in this situation however it further escalated. I made it clear I can’t do this anymore and will be moving out (there’s many toxic situations that have occurred over the past 2 years- I began counselling 2 weeks ago because of this). I eventually grabbed my purse and left to go outside. In the garage she began grabbing, pulling, and pushing me back into the house (I was screaming at this point). I went back inside because she wouldn’t stop (I was panicking at this moment). Then she was superficially saying “I’m sorry ok” then forcing me to hug her. I walked away and left the house. My parents picked me up from a different location and I’ve been with them since. My husband texted me apologizing. I made it clear I can’t live here anymore to which he said “we’ll talk about it later.” I don’t know what to do. What do I say to my husband if he doesn’t want to leave? Please help guys, my mind is scattered.
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Other posts from /u/Unfair-Writing-3155:
I don’t know what to do anymore, 2 weeks ago
My mother in law is crazy, 3 weeks ago
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File a police report. She put her hands on you!
I would not move back in. Can your parents help you move your stuff into a storage place temporarily?
Hard line needs to be drawn here. His mother physically attacked you to prevent you from leaving. That’s two criminal offenses right there (battery and false imprisonment). I would make it perfectly clear to your husband that regardless of what he does, you are moving out and filing a police report. The only thing he has any control over in this situation is whether or not his marriage survives the ordeal.
You can’t go back there. You deserve better than this situation.
File a police report and have your parents go with you to pick up your stuff. If your husband wants to go with you, fine. If he’d rather stay with Mommy Dearest, no great loss. I’m so sorry. What your MIL did is way over the line.
Assault and Battery
Domestic Violence
Volatile Environment
Of Course you Deserve Better!
As a Canadian born Indian, you have to leave. I know you’ve only been married a year but it’s clearly not working. Do not go back until your husband gives you a clear answer. Your mil was being rude and when she heard you telling your husband, she tried to control the narrative. Your husband and you need to be a team and let the in laws know that you will be searching for your own place because space is what’s needed. Everyone moves out and it’s not taboo anymore
Your MIL assaulted you. Set hard boundaries NOW. If your husband won’t leave with you, leave alone.
You say, “I was assaulted and cannot live with my attacker. I am getting housing of my own. Join me or not.”
I would personally respond, “The only thing we need to talk about is our next step towards housing together, your mother physically assaulted me to keep me from leaving after she tried to manipulate what happened on top of trying to dismiss my feelings. I love you, and I don’t want to live without you, but I will not live with someone who is so casual about putting their hands on me in ANY way.” File that police report to hammer it home :/ I’m so sorry that happened to you
You need to make arrangements to pick up your important possessions immediately from your in-laws home. Passport, paperwork, medications, personal hygiene products, jewellry, clothing. Pack everything up as soon as possible, do not hesitate, and stay with your parents.
I would file a police report and charge her with assault, immediately. You CANNOT go back into that house. You need to get out, and find somewhere safe to stay- can your parents help you with safe accommodations? This is not a safe situation. DO NOT go back.
You tell him you won’t be back. His mother put hands on you so there’s nothing to discuss. He can join you or not and actually show you how much he actually supports you.
Talk is cheap after all.