My MIL & FIL are visiting and staying with us for 2 weeks. She is absolutely insufferable. For starters, she is a severe clean freak and needs everything in order. I’m more laid back when it comes to cooking and cleaning. However, when I visit her I always abide by the rules in her home. However when she visits me she criticizes everything and insists on doing things her way. I feel completely disrespected. I have a 8 month old baby. I am a SAHM and manage things very well with my baby. However she has to tell me what I’m doing wrong and what I could be doing differently. Basically, if I am not doing things her way, I’m doing them completely wrong. It’s driving me insane. She is very possessive about everything and wants to control my home, my child, my husband everything.
They are only here for 2 weeks but idk how much more of her I can take. Any suggestions on how to handle these issues?
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Mil, I’m sure you mean well, but this is how we do xxx in our home.
“I’m sure that’s how you do them however this is our home and this is how we do it here. There is more than one way to do things and your way isn’t necessarily the right way and definitely not the only way.”
My mil is the same way. Meticulously clean is the only option and doing it any way but her way is not an option and you will be judged for it but not to your face, behind your back to everyone else. Like ‘oh so and sos house is disgusting l’ and ‘it’s a shame her kids will always be sick because her house is filthy’ when it’s absolutely not it’s just a normal house where you live with a normal amount of clutter.
Have fun with it. Right now you don’t want to kick up a fuss. Plan on talking to DH about this visit and any future visits.
You say she is a clean freak? After she cleans/picks up a room, you go to that room and put items all over it. Examples would be sling a few baby blankets over the back of chairs, fill the sink up with several baby bottles, take your shoes off and leave them in living room floor. Put toys, walker, anything you would trip over whilst walking thru. She made the bed? Go pull the covers off the pillow and mess the bed up. Leave half empty glasses everywhere. She’s gonna criticize you anyway. Give her something to criticize (and clean up).
Please stop criticizing me in my home in front of my family.
Your husband needs to take care of the situation and tell his mother that either she keeps her opinions to herself or they can find a hotel. If he won’t, then you find something to do throughout the day where you are out of the house and she doesn’t have access to you or the baby.
Every time she criticizes you, mention that the nearby hotel has openings. When she says “Why don’t you vacuum every day?” Just respond “You know the housekeeping at the Sheraton does that? You should check it out.” And just repeat it in different ways til she shuts up.
I would point blank say …”Do you openly disrespect other people in their homes, or just me? I may not be as neat and clean as you, but I certainly know it is extremely to talk to your HOST the way you speak to me.”