I (18f) and my bf (18m) have an 11 week old baby girl. When she was 4 days old I took her to meet my mil and she kissed my baby on the cheek. She was told multiple times during the pregnancy including 2 days before she was born not to kiss her and she done it anyway. After that I then said no one (my own family included) was going to see the baby until after she had her 8 week jabs. Call me harsh I don’t care. I was already planning on not letting anyone meet her until she was 8 weeks however about a week before she was born I changed this, simply because I didn’t want to hurt anyones feelings. She then went on a huge tangent saying “I’m the grandma I can do what I like” and “I’ve never heard of this before in my life”. She then decided to make up lies about me saying that apparently every time someone enters a room I am in I apparently leave? I have NEVER done this in my life. It is not in my character to cause a scene and make somebody feel awkward by leaving the room just because they have entered. I seriously don’t understand where she was going with this. Anyways. My daughter had her jabs a little over a week ago and my boyfriend’s dad was coming down to see the baby ( he rarely sees his dad as he lives at the other end of the country and this was his first time seeing him in a little under 2 years). Obviously I took the baby to go see him. It was a very brief meeting (only for about 5 min) and I took her back home. When my bf got back home that night my mil is being very distant with him and now his sister is singling him out. His brother also decided to cause a scene after I left with the baby saying “what about mum”. Im at a loss. I feel like my bfs entire family is divided over this. I would also like to mention I am never taking my baby to my mil house ever again because her son (the one who started the argument) does drugs in the house. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t think I am in the wrong. Another thing that stood out to me was when we were at the brief meeting with my bfs dad, my sil (who is very close to my mil) gave everyone a hug but me. Completely ignored me the entire time. It is obvious my mil is saying stuff about me. That most likely isn’t true. Any advice on how to handle this?
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as Same_Offer_2630 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Same_Offer2630 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Hold your boundaries. No matter what you do now they still won’t respect you. They can just die mad about it:)
I keep telling everyone I read about in this situation that if you have the ability to do couples counseling I highly recommend it. Right now your bf probably feels “stuck in the middle” of drama – even though you are NOT at fault here. Your MIL is a drama queen and wants to create a rift in her family. She is disrespectful to you and crossing your boundaries. I’m proud of you for standing your ground. You sound very mature for 18.
You’re not wrong for protecting your baby and setting boundaries. MIL disrespected your wishes by kissing your newborn despite being told no. Avoiding her house, especially with drugs around, is smart. Her family’s drama is unfair, stay firm, prioritize your baby’s safety, and have your boyfriend set boundaries with his family.
You have every right to maintain boundaries that make sense to you. As a mom, it’s natural instinct to want to protect your baby. The last thing you want is for LO to get sick, better be safe than sorry. MIL is being childish because she didn’t get her way, make sure she knows that if she continues spreading rumours and not respecting your wishes, she will not be seeing or involved with your LO.
Nah, you’re not wrong. She broke your clear boundary and then plays victim? Classic MIL move. Keep your baby safe and cut contact with that drama. Let your BF handle his family, you do you.
Ignore the old bat. It sounds like nothing you do is gonna please her, so quit trying. Your baby’s life is more important than her fee fee’s. Get you bf on board or try to get him to therapy. Nothing should trump your child’s well-being. And your mental health.