A tale as old as time, I know. For background my now husband proposed to me in January of 2019. Our plan was to marry in April of 2020. Then the pandemic hit and we were canceled a month before due to shutdowns. Then after additional lockdowns and unfortunate family deaths we pushed back our wedding two years.
Now to the main story:
For our wedding we had decided that we wanted our mothers to wear champagne colored dresses to give them importance. My mother found her dress a couple of months after we got engaged and was set. My MIL was a completely different story…
She waited out the two years to find a dress and said she, “didn’t have enough time”. To her credit she went to over a dozen different stores but couldn’t find anything because everything made her look fat, was too tight, showed her arms, didn’t make her looks skinny (her words). She went with her husband, my SIL(A) also took one for the team and accompanied her to many stores. Nothing. Finally a month and a half prior to the wedding she goes to a bridal shop with SIL (M). Now this SIL is the golden child and is an enabler to MIL shenanigans. They happen to find MIL the ‘perfect’ dress.
They’re so excited that they share with family about how great the dress is and SIL (M) says how MIL will look better than the bride. Luckily, SIL (A) is there. She catches a picture of the dress and sees that it’s white. She voices her concern but MIL and SIL (M) insist that it’s the lighting in the shop. They say the dress isn’t white and the description in the magazine said champagne. SIL (A) texts me immediately to warn me. I of course am upset but talked down. I then discuss with my husband and explain that if she wants to make a show of herself, I’m going to let her. He’s however irate about the situation, and won’t let it go.
He decides to casually bring up the dress with his father. I overhear as his dad says, “oh yeah your mom has a great dress. She’s going to outshine the bride”. My husband loses it, and asks if he’s being serious. My FIL gets defensive and says, “this wedding isn’t just about you”.
This conversation prompts my husband to confront his mother to see the dress. He sees that it’s white and tells her she can’t wear it. She tells him that he has to see it in person to see that it’s not white. He goes with her to the bridal shop, confirms that it’s white and tells her she has to order a different color. Now I’m not present for this but according to him, she starts crying and complaining on what he wanted her to do when she has all of this…while she takes off her dress in front of him and shows him her stomach. He says he’s forever traumatized by this day. He said she can keep the dress but to order in a different color.
She ends up ordering the different color but is so angry about it that she didn’t smile once on our wedding day. All our wedding photos have her sour face. I can’t wait to get these printed and hung for her to see.
I’d like to say this is the worse thing she did at our wedding but that’s a story for another day. How was your MIL on your wedding day?
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as just_talking_outloud posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe just_talkingoutloud JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Your husband is a Rockstar!!
Please share your entire wedding day story with your fool JNMIL
God I wish I had people like that in my corner. Mine was apparently planning to wear a “lemon cream” dress to our wedding. I only found out months later when her little flying monkey best friend let it slip that her “first choice was much prettier” but my husband “vetoed” it. I was like what. Excuse me.
Later I asked my husband and he goes, “Oh, I don’t even remember, I just didn’t like the dress so I told her not to wear it.” Like it’s normal for a grown man to have opinions on his mom’s outfit unless it looked bridal, which it obviously did. Still can’t believe I got blindsided post-wedding like that. Your husband telling you upfront is honestly a green flag
Pls post your full wedding story one day!
Hahaha I just love that she’s sour face in every photo. She brought that on herself.
Why do FIL and SIL M pander to her? I just get so angry when poor behaviour is unchecked (props to SIL A, you and hubby for standing up to her).
Hahaha I just love that she’s sour face in every photo. She brought that on herself.
Why do FIL and SIL M pander to her? I just get so angry when poor behaviour is unchecked (props to SIL A, you and hubby for standing up to her).
Where to begin …she never RSVP’d for my bridal shower and when my DH questioned her the response was ” I am not going to that”. Never got a gift either.
Rehearsal dinner: When my husband asked if she was hosting , her response was, well I guess I could pay for your meal only. He said no thanks and we paid for it ourselves.
Wedding: left early. No gift. LOL. Mind you we paid for her MOG dress and her hotel.
went no contact 1.5 years after the wedding. And still no contact 30 years later. Bitch….don’t miss her.
Sour face! Post them all on facebook and make sure to tag her!!!
Eloped to the county lawyers office. Best choice we ever made. So sorry to see your MIL acting like a fool. I admire your grit to see her hang herself. I bet those pics, of guest faces in the background, woulda been amusing too.
Okay so, we know she spent two years stalling so she had an excuse to get a white dress right? Especially when it came in a different colour and outshining the bride kept getting thrown around?
Mine encouraged my then 16 year old BIL (her favourite) to get sloppy drunk because she thought it was “cute”. You know he’s not a 4 year old stealing a sip right? I’m not sure she did (he’s since grown up and apologized)
My MIL and her family wouldn’t Talk to us. They had sour faces all day long. We couldn’t give a flying f**k about them. Best day of my life while MIL was crying for days afterwards that her son was ignoring her.
My MIL wore black, spent the whole day with a sour face, refused to mingle with guests or dance. Only got out of her chair to get food, then complained to my husband for months that she didn’t get enough attention. We don’t talk to her anymore.
Oh, and she made my mom clip her toenails for her while we were getting ready.
My ex-MIL wore a leopard print sleeveless dress she’d bought for her brothers wedding. Enough said.
ETA: then monopolized the photographer for pictures with HER family (many did not include me or ex at all) because my family was smaller. Then her mother made ex’s aunt burst into tears because she was a bitch (oh lovely inheritance grudges) and I ended up comforting a woman I’d never even met.
When I asked the photographer to do some more pictures with my parents, because I had basically none, she pushed herself and ex-FIL in again. God I hated that woman. Still do actually.
My MIL was requested to wear a light pink tea length dress and instead wore a full length embellished NEON CORAL dress. She also took over our photos with a trillion extra photos of her family and forced us to forfeit the most important part of our day. Honestly ruined our wedding and we’ll be having another in a few years.
Sounds like a nightmare! Some people just can’t help but make it about themselves.
She was fine at our wedding and for 6 years after that.
She went off the rails when my husband got sick. She went nuts after that.