I’m now in high school, a sophomore. I had sex when I was in 10th grade. My mom calls me a slut behind my back now and is telling everyone what I did. I know it was wrong to have sex , I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. I’m not allowed to go out anymore I don’t have anymore freedom I just want advice
My mom called me a slut idk what to do
r/Advice
Comments
You cnt do anything but stop her from telling other ppl
I might get jumped on for being permissive, but I’m from the UK, so teenagers having sex at 15 is quite common. It’s not great, but it’s not the end of the world either.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re being bullied for this. Your mum should not be calling you names. Is there someone you can talk to who would offer a non-judgemental ear? Having sex for the first time can be intense, both physically and emotionally. Were you my daughter, I might not condone it, but I’d wanna make sure you felt okay about the experience. Did you remember to use birth control? If not, it’s important to get tested for STIs. I’m not saying you will have any, but it’s important to get yourself checked after unprotected encounters. Was there enthusiastic consent, and do you know how to give it and not give it? At your age, it’s easy to feel pressured. It’s vital that you feel comfortable and safe, but it can be hard to communicate discomfort when you’re young.
This shouldn’t be happening. I am sorry.
15 isn’t a terribly abnormal time to have sex for the first time. It sounds like you had a trustworthy partner and felt respected by him. Just don’t get pregnant and end things if you aren’t being well cared for by him.
There’s nothing wrong with having sex. Fuck the patriarchy.
But now on to your Mom. This is horrible. She shouldn’t be slutshaming you. Women slutshame other women to control. To get it from your own mother is awful. Sometimes women slutshame bc they have internalized the narrative that the only thing valuable about us is between our legs. They received this abuse and so perpetuate it. She is not acting as a caring and protective parent right now, instead as a “mean girl.” It’s sad.
I am sure you have many skills, interests and possible traits that make you uniquely you. Try to find ppl who build you up.
Lastly, you mention that you recorded the deed, deleted it, and that she somehow has a copy of the recording. This seems extremely problematic. If she’s in anyway reasonable, urge her to delete it if for no other reason so that if she ever loses control of her phone it doesn’t end up as child pornography.
When you are old enough to leave the house and live with roommates, please begin reading about coercive control and narcissism. Your Mom is meant to protect you.