Hey everyone
So my mom died 2 weeks ago and it’s been difficult.
I stopped eating for a few days and then recently started eating at least once a day
But that’s not a big deal to me right now I actually don’t care if I eat or not.
When
I heard the news I had a huge panic attack and cried nonstop until I physically couldn’t anymore
I don’t have siblings or any family that I know of as far as I know as for my dad
mom didn’t mention him at all so no idea and don’t really care to be honest.
Since that day I’ve been dealing with everything with nothing but sarcasm and very little emotion and self harm. My one friend seemed to think that it is my coping mechanism but we had a fight and now we are not talking I did tell her that I want to sort myself out and then maybe to try fix things between us we both agreed it was for the best especially before something happened that we couldn’t fix. I feel bad this coping mechanism is clearly not okay and I want to get help but I can’t afford therapy and I honestly don’t know what I should do.
I loved my mother she was a great woman who always tried her best.
Does anyone have advice on how I can approach this further?
Comments
I lost my mom too. She was everything to me — the one person I felt safest with.
Now I’m just trying to hold it together for everyone else. My dad’s too fragile, and my younger brother needs me. So I stay strong… but inside, I’m exhausted. People say “take care of yourself,” but when you’re the one holding the family up, when do you get to fall apart?
You’re not broken for coping the way you are — you’re grieving without support. And that’s heavy. You don’t need perfect solutions right now. Just small steps. Talk. Write. Breathe. And know you’re not alone in this.
She’d want you to survive but also, eventually, to live again.
Honey set your phone to 3 alarms a day to drink 2 big glasses of water and eat something with protein, even if it’s just a chocolate peanut butter smoothie and a power bar and a multivitamin. Your mother fed you as an infant every 2 hours, she bathed you, washed your clothes, made sure you got air and sunlight and enough sleep. Go back to those fundamentals. Self care not self harm.
Contact your local church ,see if they offer offer classes for Grief, check with local funeral homes, they should have info. On grief counseling. There’s a lot out there. I lost my son 3 yrs ago, he was 22 yrs old. Your friend doesn’t sound like a good friend. A real friend will say I don’t care what you say. You need me and we will get through this together. I’m so sorry for your loss. It will be a hard process. Take 1 step at a time, go to grief counseling, talking about it will help you. You’re going to have bad days, very bad days, you will have good days. Talk about your mom often, these memories will help you heal, and remember the good times. You must take care of you and your mental health first. I’ll be praying for you. Take it 1 day at a time, reaching out is your 1st step, now continue on this path. Please take care of you!
Grief is so hard, and it’s okay to not have everything figured out right now. Be kind to yourself while you work through this
Psychiatrist
You still need to eat. It’s like grade school or prison, you may not feel like it but you need to.
Try to limit food to things that are easy to swallow so forcing it won’t be as difficult
Grief happens in stages. How long each stage lasts is on the person who is grieving. My sister lost her husband fairly quickly to Cancer and honestly I didn’t think she would make it through. She started to look for signs that he was there with her. That may be the only thing that kept her sane TBH.
Give yourself some love. Get up every day make your bed. Like someone else said which was very good advice, self care is most important, so set an alarm 3 times a day. Feed yourself, drink, shower or bathe. I think for the most part it is always hardest to lose our Mothers.
Give yourself time and love. Feel the sun on your face. Look for your mother in signs that you may see. Like a butterfly, flowers, a dime on the sidewalk. Random dimes being found can be a signal that our loved ones are here and they are connected to us. Look for her favourite things, the things she loved. Books that she loved to read, songs she liked, movies that you saw together. Just remember while Mom has gone she loved you and would want the greatest things in life for you. She would want you to live, grow, and love yourself, the way that she always loved you.