I’m gay. My mom knows it. But she still spews ignorant, disgusting shit about gay people like I’m invisible.
The other day, she was watching a TV show and out of nowhere says, “being gay is abnormal.” Like seriously? It’s 2025. How can someone be this willfully ignorant and hateful, especially to their own kid?
I don’t want her acceptance. I don’t need it. What pisses me off is the fact that she thinks it’s okay to say those things around me, like my existence is some kind of problem to comment on. Her ignorancee makes me so fucking mad I sometimes wish I could just cut ties and not have to deal with this kind of backward bullshit ever again.
I’m tired. I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt, tired of brushing it off, tired of the internal tug-of-war between loving my family and hating the bigotry that comes with them.
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I just wish you can soon start your independent life in your own place. It’s going to be way better! Just try focusing on that and making it happen ASAP and in the best conditions possible.
Edit: maybe I misunderstood your post. Maybe you already live in your own place but just don’t want to cut ties with your family. Which is kinda nice of you. Maybe try calling her out. Like, she’s saying hurtful stuff to her son. It’s not right.
I know you know this, but she’s wrong. You are special and you deserve better, you deserve not to have to tolerate stuff like this.
Once you’re an adult, you can get away. If you are an adult already it is okay to go no contact with her for a while. In the meantime I am sorry you have to deal with this bullshit. Know that there are more people who fully love and accept gay people, than there are who don’t. Hang in there, and don’t let 1 person’s personality defects define you.
I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Your mom sounds awful. You didn’t mention your age so I’ll assume you’re not 18. Is there any way you can get a part time job to start saving so when you’re old enough to live on your own you can do so immediately?
I’ve been through a similar situation. Please find other people and outlets to accept yourself. I had to be constantly ridiculed by my mother for being queer over the summer. The only chance I had to talk to my queer friends was texting. Don’t let those thoughts and hurt disturb you. Try to find coping mechanisms, for me it was poetry I wrote poetry every time my mom pissed me off with her homophobic bs. Journal, acknowledge your feelings don’t hide them. I’d you have a chance to tell your story tell it. People will listen if you have the safe environment to do so. Try making an escape plan if safe. I don’t know how old you are but consider what you’re doing once you can move out and live on your own. I wish nothing but the best for you. I don’t want to say I know your pain because I knew no one knew mine when I was going through it. Much love 🫶🏽
I hope you find a family made of people you choose far away from her and others very soon.
I have a queer child. I cannot Imagine being anything but completely supportive of them and the people they date. They are perfect in my eyes. I am so lucky everyday to be their mom. You are perfectly made just as you are and know you are. Gay and all. You deserve not to hear those awful things.
Why are you around her if she does this? If you’re an adult you are allowed to go no contact. If you aren’t? Grey rock. Give nothing. I will add this is not easy and I know that from doing it but you are still allowed to not humor her.
Now I will admit I misread that as Bigfoot not bigot so got some whiplash
If you’re old enough u could probably go live with a friend or move out