i’m 20, go to college, and work a part time job. throughout my childhood i’ve had multiple failed cases with cps regarding my mom. she has neglected me and verbally and physically abused me since i was a child. i thought it got better post covid but she threw me into (and broke) a window tonight. she told me to leave, so i tried gathering my things and she told me that since my cars in her name she’d report it stolen (i pay for it) and i just said that’s fine, i can walk. she got even more upset and said i couldn’t go anywhere (not even the backyard to calm down) and proceeded to threaten to call my friends (none of them have any idea about my problems at home). im upset, and embarrassed. i rely on her for living expenses since im in my third year of college and trying to pursue my phd. i’m fine with going down to being a part time student but i don’t want to drop out. i just need to leave home and im not sure how to do it. i also have three younger brothers that live in the house, shes never put her hands on them but im worried about what would happen if i left. there’s just a lot of emotions and things i have to think about, and it feels like there’s no way out.
my mom is abusing me
r/Advice
Comments
Move out
Get out. Go to a friend you trust right now and ask if you can crash on their couch whilst you sort things out. It’s time to be honest with your friends, you’re being mistreated at home and you need somewhere safe until you work things out, don’t stay somewhere where you’re at risk of further harm.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had to move out a couple of years ago too because my mum was abusive. For the longest time, I was also suicidal because I felt like I could never get out of that toxic cycle. Home was never a safe space for me.
But moving out really helped. I finally felt like my own person, no longer the girl who constantly felt like a burden or was overwhelmed by responsibilities even while being mistreated. I no longer had to worry about my brother getting drunk and beating me up for no reason, or my mum treating me like shit and telling me how worthless I am compared to my brother – even though I was the one paying bills, not him.
It’s definitely expensive to rent, but there are cheaper alternatives, like sharing a room with someone. It sucks to share a space, but getting out of a toxic environment really clears your head. Your mental health is worth it. You could also check with relatives for a cheaper room, or look on carousell – there are some good listings there too.
I know it feels like there’s no way out right now, but please know that there is. It might take time to figure things out, but you truly deserve safety and peace. Sending you a big hug. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. You deserve love, a clear and calm mind and a place you can finally call home. It might take years to come, like it did for me, but it will come. Your heart and mind deserve nothing less than the best 💕
Please get ahold of your friends. They may have some ideas, or even sympathize with you! Also make a police report and see if an officer can help you go get your things. Meaning clothes and etc. There’s always some kind of assistance for college. Talk to a financial advisor there. I hope you’ll be ok.
That is insane! Does she have mental issues or she is just jealous? (Only things I could think) It’s not your fault. I wonder if you could get family counseling or similar (For her obviously but saying “family” makes less of a fight than saying it flat out-you need therapy!”
I am sorry you’re going through that! The worst my mom and I was her calling me a SOB and me saying -huh, what does that make YOU then, MOM?” 🤣
While I don’t have any sage advice (other than talking to your friends), what I can give is sympathy…as I had a very similar situation growing up. The only other thing I can offer is listen to NF, while it won’t help the situation it will help you with feeling not so alone