Basically, I am 14 F and my mom found out that I self-harm. Instead of having really any empathy, she just started yelling at me, asking me why I would do that and such. She told me she is going to take my phone. She also said she’s going to make me move bedrooms to a room that’s closer to hers, and take the door off so she can “keep a better eye on me.” I’m not sure if this is right or wrong of her to do? She told me that “self-mutilation should not go unpunished.” Honestly, I have many issues that she knows about but just overlooks. I’m not really sure what to do. Advice is appreciated!
My mom is punishing me but i’m not sure it’s fair?
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Jesus, i just don’t understand how there can be such awful parents in the world. Do your best to hang in there, keep a low profile until you turn 18 and then get out ASAP.
Seems to me if you are self harming you are already punishing yourself, you don’t need your mother to compound it with more punishment. Keeping an eye of you is fine and even moving bedrooms is fine but therapy would be better. Have you asked your mother if you can start seeing a counselor?
Is there a counselor at school you can talk to? Anyone other than Mom?
SMMFH! So basically they’re punishing you for the trauma that they did to you? I HATE PEOPLES PARENTD
She’s freaking out that her child is being hurt. She’s protected you your whole life and it’s hard to accept. Whatever is going on inside you needs to be dealt with. Talk to your mom and ask her to help you. You have to trust her at some point.
Can you speak with a school counselor? Your mom isn’t handling your issue properly. Without professional intervention she ultimately is doing you more harm.
Understand that parents are human and make mistakes, I know i did raising my kids. But you need to get support and therapy as you continue to grow. 14 – 18 are difficult years as you learn who you are. Im wishing you well and keep reaching out until you find your support.
Ask her to get you a therapist.
Talk to a teacher and ask if you can speak to the social worker. They will be able to counsel you for a short time and consult with your mother to encourage her to get you some help.
You need to see a psychiatrist that specializes in teens. Tell her that. It’s very important that you see someone.
I can’t pretend to know your mom, obviously, but I can say with a fair amount of confidence that she’s scared. A child that self harms scares the heck out of nearly all parents. A lot of people yell at others when they’re scared. I’ve had a number of scared patients yell at me and call me names just for walking into their room (I used to be respiratory therapist).
She’s indicating her fear by taking your phone because of the cruelty online. She wants you closer to her, and your door because people usually commit suicide behind closed doors. Yes, much of what she’s saying and doing is the result of fear and of not knowing what to do. She doesn’t want to lose you.
I deal with depression and have for a very long time. Getting on medication and therapy has helped me tremendously.
I hope you can both get the help you need.
You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers. I do care. Hugs! 🫶
Talk to your school counselor.
Not to go too deeply into the psychology of parenthood (no offense, you’re 14, you literally have no history or resources to be able to even imagine being a parent), but your parents’ reactions indicate trauma or generations of social conditioning that they themselves have. They aren’t actually acting out of reasonable interest of what would be best for you, and they aren’t acting out of anger towards you on a personal level. They’re instinctively reacting, on an emotional level, to what your actions could mean about their own behaviors. Once that emotional reaction event takes over, the rational mind virtually shuts down. They become defensive and attempt to control you because it is human nature to attempt to control your environment (which includes other people) in order to feel safe. It’s a survival mechanism that is very rarely spoken of these days, so there’s a very real possibility that your parents don’t even realize they’re doing it. While I know this doesn’t provide any actual advice about what to do, I want to at least provide information that will help you realize that their reactions and their choices are not your responsibility or your fault.