I don’t even know where to start to be honest, but yeah, the title. My boyfriend(m25) and I(f22) are in a long(ish) distance relationship (living 3 hours apart) so we see each other about twice a month. We both have busy lives. I work and have nursing school and he works three jobs (full time as a teacher and two other part time jobs), so when we do see each other we typically spend the whole day together. My mother seemed supportive of our relationship at first but seems to have recently been against it for whatever reason. Obviously me and my boyfriend are having sex (duh), but I’ve never admitted this to her, because it’s none of her business. She just assumes the are having sex.
Anyways she’s threatening to kick me out because she’s religious and she thinks us having sex is worldly and that he’s using me. BS. This man is amazing and we have a healthy relationship. She’s essentially trying to make me choose between living with her and stop spending time with my boyfriend or kick me out and I can do whatever I want. I’m honestly leading towards the latter because I’m ready to move out anyways but the problem is money. I’m not gonna tip toe around her and end my relationship for her. I will not let her control my life. I’m sick of her controlling ways. This is not the first time she’s pulled some crap like this.
So any advice on what I can do? Let me know if you need me to clarify anything in the comments, because I didn’t want this post to be too long. Thanks in advance everyone 💕.
TLDR: my mother is making me choose living with her and essentially stop spending time with my boyfriend or kicking me out and I can do whatever I want.
Comments
House rules🤷🏾. If you don’t like her rules, get ya ass out. If you work and he has 3 jobs yall will be ok so in the words of the great Martin Payne ” Get Tha Steppin”
You could move out into a share house or look into a roommate if your not looking to move in with the bf yet at least you can get away from your mom
You’re an adult, but you’re acting like your mother has the obligations to you that she did when you were a child.
You think you’re entitled to her damaging her conscience and damaging her relationship with her God that is extremely important to her?
Why? So you – as an adult – dont have the expense of getting your own place?
No. Your mother is a person, she’s allowed to have a safe space of her own. It’s her home. You don’t have to stay in her home.
You need to get out of the entitled child mindset, it will hold you back in life and also damage your relationship with your mother.
Yeah I mean that sucks but it seems like you will be ok, just wait until that nursing pay kicks in, in a few years you will be good lol
Just don’t do it in her house. Problem solved.
Not sure I would call Martin Payne “great” 🙂 but correct on house rules; if you don’t like them then leave. Sounds like a discussion with mom is out of the question since you are an adult but her rules no matter how archaic they may be on her house are the rules.
Yeah families don’t look out for each other anymore . That’s the attitude of the times.
That’s why we are always starting from scratch
Cycle of riches to rags.
Lie to her. You’re 22. She has no right to try to dictate your dating or sex life. She only has the right to tell you not to have sex in her home or to have him over. If you can’t afford to move out and you’re not going to break up with him then you have no choice but to sneak around. I’m guessing that she’s not the type of person that can be reasoned with. What choice is she leaving you?
Definitely move out. Ultimately it’s her roof – her rules. Your relationship will be for the better too.
Completely random side to your post sortve but is your mother a JW by chance?
you should definitely try to find a living arrangement because she doesn’t sound very nice 0_0
Here is the reason she’s against it, we’ll keep it sanitary. Just the objective stance.
This sounds Catholic. They hold marriage to be very sacred. The Bible says:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
It is viewed that marriage is a sacred relationship between a man and a woman for the purpose of bearing children. It’s not viewed as a form of entertainment. It’s supposed to bring a husband and a wife together and anytime it happens, they should be open to a child, as a result of that union.
This can seem super old fashioned but when you look at the issues that society faces some of the most severe stem from single parent households especially those without a father. The statistics are shocking, when you remove a father the societal impact is often night and day.
Putting it all together: You are free to have whatever religion that you want, but understanding why religions have certain rules and the impact those rules intend to have on society is important. The bottom line is basically, her house her rules. The results of ‘her way’ are likely objectively ‘less risky’ than ‘your way.’ The litmus test for this would be if you had a child now, would that be good for you both at this time.
Maybe not have sex under her roof. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect her wishes. Don’t let this ruin your relationship with your mom. You’re almost out the door so bear with it until then.