Okay wild story coming your way.
Location: California
My mom passed away suddenly 2 years ago. I won’t go much into it, but it’s important to know she was WILD, into drugs off and on, and a big drinker.
In the late 90s, my mom decided to marry this guy she barely knew (definitely also into drugs and drinking hardcore) so she could go into the military (she had my brother at the time as a single mom. I want to clarify that this is just the story that was told to me, no idea if that was even true back then). Things fall through and she never goes. She said she got a divorce, but turns out it was never finalized due to some forms not being filled all the way out. They go there separate ways because there was some domestic violence involved (found this out looking up court cases for their divorce) and obviously not working out.
Flash to about 3 years ago. My grandma passes and her estate equals out to about $100,000. This was split between my uncle and mother, but was intended for her grandchildren (my brother, me, and one cousin). My uncle gave his kid the fair split 3 ways and gave us the left over change and my mom was supposed to give my brother and our split.
Now the side of the family that wrote this check out knew how wild and bad my mom was with money. She actually had my grandmothers house foreclosed on because she said she was taking mortgage payments to the bank but wasn’t and never told anyone until they came and locked us out. So all in all, not sure why they trusted her to do right by my grandma, but I understand they were just doing the legal process because my grandma did not have a formal will or anything saying who got what. It was just always know and spoken about that it went to the grand kids.
My mother gets the check and says, “I’m gonna keep it and put into a savings account.” Now, I’m not against saving accounts! Most of it was going to savings anyways, but she refused to put it in anyone’s name but hers. This wouldn’t be such a problem if she wasn’t well known for not paying child support or any bill/credit of hers. She reluctantly gave my brother and I some of our split but refused to give the rest. Well, the government was monitoring her account and boom they wiped it! This was for back child support for me that was due to pay to my deceased grandma.
She was able to get some of it back by calling and saying that she had passed but not all of it. Whatever at this point, I just want it in an account or something that also has my or my brothers name on it in case anything happened.
Flash forward to her passing, she never deposited it in an account nor did she ever put me, my brothers name, or her long time boyfriend practically husbands name on the bank account as a beneficiary. Fine, we will try using a Small Estate Affidavit to close out the account. We get to the bank and her past is haunting us yet again. Her divorce never went through and by California law he is the only one entitled to it because they are technically still married.
Great. A guy I don’t know and my brother hardly remembers is the only one that can access this account. I start researching him and find his Facebook and see he has remarried some chick in another state!! I have been trying to get ahold of this guy and today I finally found a phone number and said screw it I’ll call on a private number.
I dialed once earlier in the day and no answer. I decided to call once more for shits and giggles and he picked up. I have found his Facebook and seen recent photos of him (tried reaching out via Facebook, no reply) and I could totally see it matching him. I didn’t say anything because I was stunned and just let him hang up. I don’t even know what the hell to say to the guy. “Hey you don’t know me but I need you to sign something saying you weren’t married to my mom when she died so I can access her account. Oh also please don’t just go and take the money for yourself I know my mom and grandma both filed restraining orders against you and you probably have a huge grudge. Okay thanks.”
I have no idea what I’ll end up doing. I’m afraid of loosing the money to him but it’s not like I have it yet anyways. It’s going to be a long and probably painful/expensive process to get this all done anyways and there truly isn’t much in the account especially not enough to cover lawyers and probate court. I definitely won’t be doing anything dumb or sudden, but needed to get it off my chest and ask for advice.
TLDR;
My mom married and didn’t fully divorce some guy in her 20’s and now my inheritance is stuck because she never named a beneficiary on her account or had a will.
Comments
TL;DR: Your mom inherited money. She married but never actually divorced. Your mom passed away.
Her husband may legally have rights to some/all of the money depending on the account type (e.g., TIC vs JTWROS).
> I need you to sign something saying you weren’t married to my mom when she died
Only, if they weren’t divorced, he was married to her at the time. This may invalidate his current marriage, but it won’t end his prior one to your mom at the time of her passing.
You’re absolutely going to need a lawyer to get anywhere here.
Are you sure there is even any money in the account? By your description it sounds doubtful your mother held onto any money for you and your sibling. 100k is not that much in the bigger scheme of things and an even smaller amount when dealing with an addict.