I recently called my mother (57F) and she told me she has been a little depressed. She told me she slept with a much younger man (36M) twice. At first, they were romantically interested in each other, but it has since died out. It’s very confusing because she says she regrets it and it was crazy to sleep with someone so much younger, but she is also hurt because she thinks he doesn’t want to sleep with her because of her age and she was having some romantic fantasies about him? Then she was upset because she told her friend group and they didn’t know what to say.
I know they are both adults and I don’t want to stop anyone doing what they want to, but I have personally always found it strange people can be physically attracted to someone old enough to be their parent/child, regardless of gender. I don’t know how to process this situation and felt extremely uncomfortable when my mother was talking about this, but at the same time it feels like she has no one else to go to about this and I don’t want her to be alone when she is obviously upset. Any advice?
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It’s okay to feel uncomfortable you’re her child, not her therapist. Let her know you care, but gently set boundaries if the details are too much. Support her emotionally, and if she’s really struggling, encourage her to talk to a professional who can help her work through it
Totally fair to feel weird hearing about your mom’s sex life—that’s not easy. But her dating choices aren’t really yours to manage. What is okay is being concerned about her mental health. Just support her as her kid, not her therapist or moral judge. Let her know you care and encourage her to talk to someone neutral, like a counselor.
Stop talking with your mom about her sex life. That behavior is more mystifying than age gaps between consenting adults.
it is what it is. i dunno. not being sex positive about consenting adults who are well past the age of brain and body development is retrograde. seems immature.
I’m sorry she hurts. Age is irrelevant to this story.