I’m 20F, about to be 21 in October. I still live under my parents roof but I’m working towards moving out. Especially after today, I’d live in my fucking car if I had to. I got threatened to get kicked out for wanting to have a sleepover with this guy I’ve been talking to. I did once before without my parents “permission” even though I’m an adult, and they gave me the silent treatment when I got home. They ALWAYS give me the silent treatment when I don’t do what they want, especially my mom.
So I told them I want to sleepover his place for the weekend, cause he lives kinda far and I want more time with him without having to waste gas. My parents are very old-timey by the way. Long story short they said I’m not sleeping over his place otherwise I’ll be kicked out, even though I’ve had sleepovers with my past relationships before (obviously without permission, but again I’m an adult). My mom told me to my face that I was just “easy” and “promiscuous.” She did not directly call me a whore, but she was definitely implying it, and I can tell what she actually means. She said I just “spread my legs for just anyone.” My mom seems very narcissistic and emotionally abusive, ever since I was a child. I also used to be hit, like bad. And my dad wasn’t too far off from saying the same things she was.
All this makes me want to never talk to them ever again, even if we are still under the same roof. This can also ruin things I have with this guy if my parents keep controlling me. I told them I’m never eating at the dinner table again, I’ll never ask for anything (never really did in the first place), and that I’ll just never bother them again. I know it’s their house and their rules, but I feel like my freedom is being stripped of me. I told them I’m done with all their bs and that I’m moving out as soon as possible. I have no one to turn to, and no one to take advice from.
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It’s great that you’re working towards moving out—having your own space can really help you find your independence and peace of mind. Remember, being 20 is a time for exploring relationships and figuring out who you are, and it’s totally normal to want that freedom! It’s hard when parents have old-fashioned views that clash with how you want to live your life. Just know that you’re not alone in feeling this way; many people go through similar struggles with their families. If it helps, maybe try talking to someone outside of your family about what’s going on—friends or even a counselor could provide some support and perspective. You’ve
I’m a year younger than you, and my mom is like that too. I stopped telling her about the things going on in my life, and I will be moving out with my boyfriend (who she doesn’t know about) the second I get the chance. I won’t be speaking to her ever again unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Honestly, I suggest you do the same. People like this shouldn’t/don’t deserve to have children.
Don’t let your parents’ cruel words get to you.
Wishing you the best.
If you want a full control of your life, you need to move out. As you say, you are an adult. They gave you a choice, do whatever you want, but you get kicked out. You can’t just use “adult” card while still relying on them.
It really doesn’t matter if your parents are old fashioned and strict or not. It’s their house, there rule.
Your mom is 100% correct. If you really want to be an adult be prepared to live with the fruits of your bad decisions.
Put your parents in a box, there opinion doesn’t matter how they see you doesn’t matter. Start saving to move out but take your time be smart about it. Take and make the most of having a rent feee place with your parents and use this as an opportunity to save and move on. You aren’t easy and if you was what does that even mean, your body, your experiences. Don’t be rash but rise above them with class and grace and set yourself up. Good luck x
I understand your underlying point here, but, there are a few things that I would like to point out…
First of all, your mom is wrong to treat you like she does…name calling is never helpful
Second, unfortunately , you live in their house, so it’s their rules…there is no age limit on this…if you are 50 but live in your parents house, still need to obey their rules
There are probably dynamics that we don’t know, but just based on your post, I have a few thoughts
You say you are almost 21, yet you seem to be a bit immature and throwing a tantrum…
I understand your parents aren’t the greatest, but you seem to blame them for the trouble with your man…the relationship drama falls on you and your man…the decisions that you and he make determine where the relationship goes
If your parents threaten to kick you out bc they don’t like what you are doing, you might want to think more on why they feel that way…
Maybe they don’t feel you are ready for relationship or maybe they don’t trust you bc you already lied by staying over without permission …
When you tell them that you won’t eat at dinner table and you won’t ask for anything, that kind of goes against your best interests…
Maybe think on the question of do you really want to pick a man over your family?
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