We have all dealt with some questionable parenting advice from our older relatives. Usually, it is something harmless like “put some whiskey on those gums” or “they don’t need a coat in thirty-degree weather.” But one dad on Reddit just shared a story about his mother-in-law that is so medically baffling and genuinely scary that we are actually concerned for the three daughters she managed to raise. If you thought you’d heard the peak of “MIL audacity,” sit down, because this one involves a total lack of basic human anatomy.
The Original Poster (OP) was working from home while his four-year-old daughter was battling a nasty stomach bug. Since his wife was out with their son, his mother-in-law stepped in to help. Now, any parent knows that when a toddler has diarrhea, the “wiping situation” becomes a high-stakes mission. The OP has been very careful to teach his daughter to wipe front-to-back—or “out instead of in”—to avoid the very real and very painful risk of a urinary tract infection or other nastiness.
The drama started when the little girl came to her dad and complained that Grandma “wiped wrong.” She literally told her father that Grandma was wiping the mess in toward her vagina. When the OP stepped away from his work meeting to address the issue with his MIL, he expected a simple “oh, my bad.” Instead, he was met with a level of scientific ignorance that is honestly impressive for a woman who has lived on this planet for several decades.
When the OP explained that you can’t wipe poop into a girl’s vagina because of infection risks, this woman actually had the nerve to ask him, “And you have a vagina?” as if being a man disqualifies him from knowing basic hygiene. But it gets worse. She then doubled down and claimed that a four-year-old doesn’t even have a “real” vagina yet. According to this woman’s twisted version of biology, female reproductive organs just magically appear out of thin air once you hit your teenage years.
The OP was, understandably, completely dumbfounded. He snapped and asked her the question we are all thinking: “You’re a woman, you raised three daughters, I’m married to one… you can’t possibly be this stupid?” It is a harsh thing to say to your mother-in-law, sure, but how else do you respond to someone who thinks toddlers are basically Barbie dolls down there? This isn’t just a difference of opinion; it is a dangerous medical myth that could cause a child a lot of pain.
The MIL didn’t take kindly to being called out on her sh!t. She told him he was out of line and threatened to leave if he didn’t appreciate her “help.” The OP, who clearly has zero patience for people who endanger his daughter’s health, told her she was welcome to get out. She stormed off and immediately called her daughter—the OP’s wife—to play the victim and claim she was kicked out “without any reason.”
Thankfully, the wife has a functioning brain and is firmly on the OP’s side. But the fact remains that this woman raised three girls believing that they were anatomically “incomplete” until puberty. It makes you wonder how many infections those poor kids suffered through because their mother didn’t think there was anything there to infect. It is the kind of “old school” ignorance that crosses the line into actual negligence.
The “you don’t have a vagina” argument is a classic way for toxic relatives to try and shut down fathers who are actually involved in their daughters’ lives. This dad knows exactly how to care for his child, and the fact that he is a man doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand how bacteria works. If anything, he’s the one being the “real” parent here by prioritizing his daughter’s safety over his mother-in-law’s fragile ego.
The MIL’s logic that girls don’t develop until they are teenagers is just… wow. Does she think the plumbing just doesn’t exist? Does she think kids don’t have bladders or urethras? It is terrifying that she was left alone with a sick child and was actively wiping fecal matter toward a sensitive area because she thought she was wiping a blank surface. That isn’t “help,” it is a health hazard.
The OP is wondering if he’s the ahole for being so blunt, but we say NTA. When someone is actively doing something that could k!ll or seriously harm your child’s health, the “politeness” filter goes out the window. He didn’t just kick her out for fun; he removed a person who was refusing to follow basic hygiene rules because of a weird, cult-like misunderstanding of the human body.
We hope the MIL stays far away from any diaper changes or bathroom trips until she takes a basic anatomy course. And to the dad: keep doing what you’re doing. Protecting your daughter from your MIL’s bullsh!t is a full-time job, but someone has to do it. If the MIL is furious, let her stay furious. At least the daughter is being wiped correctly now.
What is the most scientifically “out there” thing a relative has ever told you about your kids? Would you have been able to keep your cool, or would you have laughed in her face like we wanted to? Let us know in the comments if you think this MIL should be banned from bathroom duty forever!
Dads right but grandma should not be wiping anyway in my opinion