i don’t even know where to begin. this has been such a difficult and confusing time to navigate. she was the most beautiful, generous and selfless person i knew — she did not deserve to be taken away from us so soon, and to die the way that she did.
she was murdered by her husband – someone she loved to a fault – in their home. this whole ordeal has been a fever dream. i’m still in disbelief because of how tragic and devastating these past few days have been. i’ve been trying so hard to stay and remain strong for my partner (26) and his two younger siblings (19 and 15). it was his siblings who discovered her body. they should not have seen that. it has traumatised them. they say they can still smell the blood. they don’t ever want to step foot in their house again.
the dad is such an evil and ugly monster who deserves to rot in hell. it’s one thing to just murder your wife, but to take a mother away from her three children?!?! like wtaf. she was the family’s sole provider. she works — sorry, workED — 6 days a week, 9 hours a day, to ensure that her family was comfortable and had everything they needed… so their whole world has been turned upside down.
i’ve had so many thoughts and feelings since sunday but i have not allowed myself to fully process and deep it because im trying to be there and stay strong for my partner and his siblings. i think this is the strongest i’ve ever been – or had to be – in my entire life. i won’t allow myself until things have calmed down a little and settled.
i lost somebody really close to me last april, and now this april, i lost another loved one. i think april is just a month of grief.
Comments
I am so sorry for your loss.
May your FIL rot in hell.
Are you taking in the siblings? Maybe grief therapy as well as EMDR for the trauma. Tetris short term could help some too.
Im so incredibly sorry for your loss!🩷
I’m so sorry you and your partner’s family are going through this, there’s no roadmap for something this horrifying. The way you’re showing up for them, especially with everything you’re carrying yourself, says a lot about your strength and love. But please don’t forget to give yourself space to grieve too. Being strong doesn’t mean you have to be numb. You’re allowed to fall apart sometimes, even if it’s just in private. I hope when things settle, you let yourself feel everything you’ve had to hold back. This is a deep, deep loss and you shouldn’t have to carry it alone.
May justice be brought against him. May you and your in-laws find comfort in each other.
Having been in a similar headspace before in similar situations, I just want to give you a heads up to make sure that you do deal with it eventually. It’s so easy that even once all this stuff calms down, to say well the next thing is important too, and to just keep putting it off and never deal with. Or not deal with it until it makes you. Just keep an eye out for yourself too, op! I know you want to stay strong for your people. You can do both. You can even process it alone, if that’s how you do. Just make sure you’re thinking about yourself too. I’m so sorry for your & your partners (and family’s) loss
Link to the article from their profile:
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5ygegd229po
Hey, if you want to just vent all the poison, you can dm me. I do a thing with my friend where she will message me all the built up stuff, then delete it without me reading it. It really helps her
Let me know beforehand so i don’t read it
I’m very sorry for your losses. And I’m proud of you for being so strong for those who need it. You’re a good human
This is absolutely heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you’re living through something so tragic. You’re carrying so much right now, and I hope you know it’s okay to lean on others too. Grief isn’t something you have to manage alone.
That’s awful 😞 I’m so sorry for your loss 💔
I am so very sorry for your and your family’s loss!
May justice be done (though I know it can’t restore all that has been lost).
If the perp is the father of your partner and his siblings, they’ve become like orphans, as I’d be surprised if they had any other response than cutting him off completely. (If he wasn’t already cut off for monstrous behavior.)
Therapy might be the best course of action for them all. No one should try to just power through such a dreadful trauma without guidance.
May he end up in a prison where someone who has life with no parole lost their mother as a kid.
Very sorry for your loss and the trauma happening to your family.
My cousin was murdered by her husband and he turned the gun on himself 8 years ago. The oldest (11) of their 2 boys ran into the room right after the shots went off and found them. My cousin was shot in the face. He kept his little brother (8) out of the room – but both kids have been in therapy for years to deal with this. They are both managing pretty well – her parents moved into their home to care for them and disrupt their lives as little as possible. They are practically saints, as they were grieving the loss of their own daughter and then up-ended their lives for the sake of her kids.
Sounds like a similar situation for your nephews to practically be orphaned since their dad will be in jail. Please help support whoever ends up taking them in and encourage them all to get therapy. There are a lot of good recommendations from other people here for what types of treatment might help them.
Really hate this for you…please take care of yourself, too.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Grieve as much time you need. Later once youpicked yourselves together. You’ll be able to gather yourselves.
Someone like your FIL may have pent up hate burried. The little signs were there unnoticed.
Don’t forget to sleep. These trying times are more difficult than ever.