Simple petty revenge. I have a neighbor who takes up all the (free) parking on our street, and in front of my home, with his trucks, (8 or 10 of them) and also has done lots of things to personally annoy me, like drive his dirt bikes through my front yard and letting his dog crap there (right in front of me!) I befriended the local family of crows by feeding them their favorite things. Now I will occasionally see 5 or 6 crows waiting patiently in the tree in front of my house, crapping, and looking especially creepy (but surprisingly not making a whole lot of noise to give away our secret to the other, nicer neighbors) They have also not crapped on my car in my driveway once, (not once!) in all the the past months I’ve been treating them. The trees mostly cover the street area anyway. Edit: If you know crows, they are legion, and if my neighbor decides to retaliate, there will surely be a full on war…
Comments
How Machiavellian you are to involve a murder of crows in your revenge plot -!
Love that word murder for a bunch of crows!
Crows are frighteningly intelligent. I reckon you and your crew could cook up some real mischief if you put your minds to it.
Crows are incredibly intelligent and they are absolutely not crapping on your car because you are feeding them that is the only reason they are avoiding your car at all costs. That being said you can absolutely entice them to do things for you because they like to make you happy so you feed them And if he messes with them they will tell other crows and he will never get peace ever again. Most all Corvies are the petty a holes of the bird world.
Genius You can’t make this shit up kudos
https://youtu.be/uSl8kxMSEzs?si=wqD6Z2PsE4v1VMXK
It’s called a murder, a group of crows is called a murder.
Yes, crows remember individual humans. Nice humans and not nice humans get discussed among crows. Never be unkind to a crow, they tell their friends.
I like it, but you now have a crow family for life!
I think you are my new hero op! Long live the petty crow monarch!
Feed them berries for rainbow shits. It’s art.
Also, you can throw unwrapped bouillon cubes in your neighbors yard when it’s sprinkling out side. The cubes will melt in the light rain into the grass making his dogs dig for the delicious smell.
What have you fed yours? I love crows and just want to make friends with the ones local to me. Apparently they like the challenge of pistachios.
You’re an accessory to a murder! This doesn’t belong in r/pettyrevenge!
Teach me your ways, I want to become one with the crows (not for any nefarious reasons I assure you…)
Are his trucks owned by a company? Cause if they’re not private vehicles you should inquire with the authorities if they are allowed to park in a residential zone. And report your neighbor if they aren’t
Go to a thrift store and buy lots of small pieces of jewelry. They love shiny things – gifts. And keep an eye out. They like to gift back.
This is a great diabolical revenge plot.
But we need more details on how you managed to train the crows to exact revenge only on your inconsiderate neighbor. Are these crows terrorizing the entire neighborhood other than you? Weaponizing crows is a creative idea but how are you able to aim them ONLY at their intended target with any level of certainty?
If I were in your neighborhood, I might prefer enlisting the neighbors to have your self-centered neighbor’s cars towed any time he parks in one spot for more than the time limit allowed for each of his cars. That would seem to be a more effective and targeted approach, since it’s not clear that the selfish neighbor would even make the connection between the crow crap and their selfish parking habits.
But, I do love the idea of enlisting a murder of crows to do battle with a terrible neighbor. You get points for creativity in my book.
ETA1: I know about how intelligent crows are so that’s not the question for me. It has been established that crows can be trained but what is the process for getting the crows to associate the feedings from OP with crapping on one neighbor’s multiple cars that are parked all over the neighborhood? What’s the process for insuring that the other neighbors aren’t being negatively and indiscriminately impacted as well? Inquiring minds want to know.
ETA2: punctuation / clarity
I bought an old fixer-upper two houses in from the lake. Huge wrap-around porch with a porchswing to sit and watch the boats go by, brought me peace as I was recovering from a year of cancer treatment. The street has a “no parking more than 2 hours” rule, which I love because I don’t want to look at people’s fucking cars, and people on the street are mostly good about abiding by it. Well, apparently there’s a neighbor around the corner — on the lake— who doesn’t like the look of his car in his driveway? so he decided to start parking right in my eyeline of the water, right on the corner of the street. So I just started walking my dog right by it on our usual route, but anytime the car was there I’d have a few handfuls of birdseed in my pocket that I’d toss out under and around his car when I walked by. It took a few days but he must have realized our street is bird territory and his driveway isn’t so bad after all.
I do want to befriend some crows tho. Gotta up my game!
One time i used to walk past some assisted living (elderly housing) apartments on the way to my tram stop.
There was this one car parked in front of the main entrance long-term which would make it difficult for mobility impaired residents to easily get onto their bus or adapted parking without having to go further down the street.
There was a right-angled streetlight outside above the main entrance. One of the residents used to feed the seagulls from her balcony.
They would be perched every morning on the lamp post waiting for her.
If if you know anything about seagulls – they crap everywhere
So – over the period of 2 weeks, a thick layer of birdshit was building up on the car, roof, and dribbling down over the driver door.
Not sure if it was intentional, but it was definately satisfying to see the birdshit build up.
This lasted 2 weeks, before the car disappeared one morning.
https://i.imgur.com/6fXZHjY.png
The lampost has since been relocated (this was over 20 years ago) but there another car in the same location where the asshole parked for 2 weeks.
The thing about crows? They remember EVERYTHING, including who is cool with them and who to spite. My recommendation is to get some of your neighbors to befriend them as well, as they tend to get territorial over their human friends. A small murder of around 6 will turn into about 30 within a year or so, and their offspring will know you as well, so it’s generational. This revenge is a long game, and if you play things right, you’ll be on top for literal YEARS.
I read a story once about how a group of friends dressed up as cops (IIRC for Halloween) and they chased after and harassed the crows in town. Then the crows associated the real cops as the aggressors and (again IIRC) would go after the cops in town, and it happened for years.
Pizza crust under the windshield wiper make a nice bird paint job.
I feed the crows at my work site and they follow me around all day as I work. I’m the crow guy lol.
Crows are legion! I love this post haha
I was JUST telling my siblings (family dinner last week) that one of the biggest goals in my life is to make friends with a crow.
I love your petty revenge!!!
You know you can train crows to steal stuff (money etc) too…..just fyi
Had a parking hog neighbor, used to sprinkle bird seed on the ground where he parked and his cars were constantly dumped on
Quoth the raven, “Nevermore!”
Ah… I just read the whole thing as “cows” and was rather impressed that you’d enticed a whole herd over to your place.
I put the phone down, picked it up and then re-read this and it makes SO much more sense now! LOL
Either way though, good skills! 👍🏻👍🏻
Nice, you have a planned murder and there’s nothing your neighbor can do!
The Crows Have Eyes 3!
speaking of corvids, I have a family of jays that stop by every year because of raisins.
Sprinkle a bunch of powered mashed potatoes on his lawn when it rains it will puff up on his lawn and make it an ooey gooey mess!
I approve 👏👏👏 bravo for befriending your murder of crows to exact your revenge.
Crows are bros!
I love this and crows are so smart too. They are well aware of which car is yours, which home is yours and even spread your description around as someone who is a friend.
You can have generations of crows crapping on his cars and I love that for him.
Crows will take over the world someday… hopefully soon! 🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛
It’s my dream to have a flock of crows to do my bidding
Revenge without crows…four words: His yard. Bamboo seeds.
Crows can hold a grudge their entire lives, and even pass it on to their children. If you really can get them to hate this guy, he’s going to need a heavy-duty squeegee.
I love crows. There were a bunch of crows outside my apartment patio years ago and I regularly bought raw peanuts to toss out on the ground for them. After a few years of this they got bolder and bolder and started sitting on the back patio fence barely 4 ft away from the back door yelling at me to feed them.
Unfortunately my father started getting sick and the hospital sent him home under hospice care. I had to move in with him full time to take care of him in his final months. When I went back to pack up all my stuff the crows were flying past my windows and yelling at me while I was moving. Broke my heart. I gave them a ton of peanuts before I left for good. I wish I could have explained to my crow bros why I had to leave. 🙁
But, its all good now. I moved into my dads house after he passed away and I regularly throw out peanuts and fruit into an empty bird bath and fresh water into a secondary bird bath and now a new group of crow bros dominate my back yard.
edit
I want to add, if you decide to befriend some crows, be a good friend and be consistent. I had a bird feeder out back for all the non crows, I had to go out of town for a few weeks and asked my roommate to give the crows peanuts every day and remember to give them fresh water. She didn’t. I got back and that bird feeder had been pulled off its mount and the plastic cylinder smashed into two halves. For a few weeks they would sit at the tops of the trees yelling at me when I was throwing peanuts out for them and filling their birdbath. They effectively put me in the doghouse for a bit. We are cool again tho. Now they see me throwing peanuts out and they will fly down and hop around me in the grass while I throw peanuts out for them. 🙂
TIL crows are my co-conspirators…
Put some bird seed by his cars. See how fast they scratch his paint. He’ll never park there again. I’ve done that exact thing with great success
Aha! Straight to murder it is
Edit: Post restored by human mods. Thank you!
I befriended the neighborhood crows once. It was fine at first, I would feed them peanuts and find small items in my yard as ‘gifts’ in return. But then those ‘gifts’ became things like dead mice, dead rats, dead birds, lizards, snakes, etc. It would not stop, so I actually ended up moving into a new apartment. THEY FOLLOWED ME
Buy a tool to release the air out of tires
A crow left of the murder.
Crows are clever.
That’s some next level shit right there folks!
Crows and other corvids know and recognize the people who are nice and will tell their buddies about these people…
They also know and recognize the people who are ‘dangerous’ to them (read: dicks) and will tell their buddies about them.
I almost feel sorry for the neighbor… but then I remember how many trucks you say he has and that goes away. LOL
And crows do not forget and I swear they tell eachother and carry grudges around for YEARS!
One of our cats learned this the hard way.
Crows are very intelligent and loyal.
It is always best to be on the good side of Corvids. Fiendishly clever and they remember.
8-10 vehicles parked on the street? Yikes. Unless he moves them often they might be breaking some kind of bylaw.
I applaud your crow skills but also suggest calling bylaw and asking if people are allowed to leave vehicles parked on the road for long periods of time.
“People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it, and the soul can’t rest. Then, sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.”
“I gots crows b*tch. Try ME”
Lmfaoooo
Curious, what are their favorite things to eat? I’ve seen some crows hanging out in my yard and I would love to befriend them.
Can I hire your murder?
Generally speaking you can report cars and trucks as abandoned if they’re not moved regularly. With 8 vehicles I would suspect some are covered in dirt, have flat tires etc. cops will come out and start ticketing the vehicles
I would shovel up the dog crap and throw it in his yard! What he’s doing would be hard to tolerate.
I want my own murder of crows… 😈
Crows are intelligent. If they have not crapped on your car, it’s because they understand that:
It’s your car
You prefer that they didn’t.
Making friends with crows is genius
They are so smart
What the hell y’all?! I’ve been feeding crows at a park I frequent (for six months) and have received absolutely zero shiny objects but only angry crow noises when I don’t bring them food. I feel jipped!
Always befriend the Corvids!!
I would check local parking laws and also the number of cars a property is able to park on the street consistently. He has 8 or 10 trucks? How? He isnt paying insurance on all of them. Cant be.
He leaves them parked on the street at all hours. Sometimes there are ordinance rules that a vehicle has to be moved within a certain time, like a few days, before it can be towed.
What are you feeding them? I have been trying to befriend the crows around here and they have no interest in bird seed.
I need updates on this. I personally refuse to look at crows. They’re savage and I don’t need them looking for me in their spare time. Round of applause to you for the commitment to your pettiness.
Have any of the crows brought you a gift? They will sometimes leave little trinkets or things.
I feed my local Murder as well. They’re good friends.
You should make sure to talk to the crows and tell them what’s going on.
It wouldn’t hurt.
Also, teach them what the neighbour’s wallet looks like. They love to play fetch.
You should leave some bird seed on his car
OR
(when none other than your crows are looking) kick his car’s tire. The tire shouldn’t have any lasting marks and the crows will know who the enemy is!
Crows can and will hold grudges they can tell other crows and they can remember faces
Toss some treats in his truck bed eventually he will come out and see a swarm of crows shitting and sitting all over his cars chances are he will do something the crows don’t like the crows will become his enemies
Sit back and watch him get attacked by crows while you sip on a nice cool lemonade with a bowl of treats for your bird homies
I have read that about crows. They remember everything you do. I hope this works out for all of you (you and the crows). And please give them a treat for me. I love birds.
Oh the crows know what’s up, they are into your petty revenge plan and they love it. Rock on
Crows are incredibly smart. They’re not gonna bite the hand that feeds them. I love how your mind works.
Nevermore.
Feed them mulberries if you can.
Everyone is here for the crows and I’m wondering about the 8-10 vehicles.
Here’s another Amazing thing about Corvids (Crows, Ravens, etc)…they can Recognize Faces & Vehicles!!!! Your neighbor is Now DOOMED!!! Muwahaha
Murderous response!
I had a crow befriend me when I was 13-14ish. I’d feed it every day and it would follow me to school, wait in the trees, and follow me home. I also had a bully. Her name was Molly. Well… my crow friend saw Molly shove me. Crow friend attacked her, claws out. Molly left me alone after that. Though I was called “freak” by a bunch of kids afterwards. 🤷🏻♀️ oh well.
When I was a kid there was another kid who befriended the neighborhood crows(or ravens?). He was also very badly bullied in school. One day the bullies decided to beat him near his home, and the bullies got merc-ed by the birds. A few of them even needed emergency medical treatment. No one ever fucked with him again.