My friend got married few months ago. It was an arranged marriage but she knew that guy for an year before they married. He seemed quite sweet when we interacted with him. I notice that whenever I call her or have a group call with her, her husband is always around and listening to our conversations. He also participates in them which I initially didn’t mind but it’s kind of getting invasive now. Recently we made a plan to go on a girl’s trip since we all live in different places and my friend was cool about it and today we applied leaves and finally told her that we got an extra leave, but her face kind of looked dropped and then she said she will make it. But then her husband told her in a strict tone that she can’t confirm now and will confirm later while she insisted that she would go for the trip. He sounded really controlling and mean and ended up making the decision for her. What’s his problem if we want to spend more time together. He is not even a part of the trip and we have been friends for more than a decade and he has just come in her life 1 year ago. After this, I don’t feel like talking to my friend as I know he is also listening. I feel extremely uncomfortable and don’t want him to be a part of our conversations.What to do? I don’t want to spoil such an old friendship because of a control freak!
Tl;dr: my friend’s husband is making decisions for my friend which are related to our friend’s group which he isn’t even a part of!
Comments
Do your best to stay in touch with your friend. Her husband sounds as if he is controlling and likely will try to isolate her. She will eventually need friends to turn to when it gets bad enough. For now, conduct your phone calls as if he’s listening. Because he is.
It’s a form of abuse. Is there a way you can meet your friend for coffee somewhere else, and bring it up with her? It sounds like she could use some help.
Get your friend out of the house, away from the presence of her husband and have your talks there. He does sound controlling.